A Mage's Blog

Year of the Hustle

2012-01-19T11:39:00.002-05:00

As you may have heard, I have declared 2012 as the "Year of the Hustle". The declaration was first spouted on January Second, after it was realized on January First in a foodless, fevered, heavily medicated fugue.

The Year of the Hustle is half of a movement to start, and half of a realization of what is already there. Everyone I know is stepping up their game this year. A lot of shit is happening in all arenas, and it seems a more pivotal year than most. In America, it is an election year, with more and more right wing madness seeming more and more normal to more and more vocal sections of the country. There are the SOPA debates which will effect internet and communication greatly, which has spurred on the growing presence and action of Anonymous (whose participation was a great boon to the Arab Spring).

Jobs and the whole of the global economy is in flux, both from the rise of technology, and the poor choices of those who should have known better.

This isn't news. If you've read Gordon's blog like.. ever.. all of this would be pretty abundantly clear, that we are living in interesting times. Everything is changing.

Within instability is opportunity. Chaos is as fertile as it is dangerous. (Jai Ma!)

As the role of everything mutates this year, think of what you wish to pull from the Chaos. It's going to take hard damn work to get there, but within a climate like this, if you are canny enough, you can do it. It will be a year full of hard work, hard choices, heart ache, and triumph.

The dynamic, the leverage of power itself is shifting. Force of arms is being absorbed by money, which is being absorbed by information, which is ruled by Wisdom, Genius, and Cunning. As such, the Year of the Hustle is ruled by Hermes Mercurius, Cattle Thief, Fast Talker, Cutpurse, and Patron of merchants, sheep, and shepherd. A God, a force who finds living expression in the internet as surely as Jove finds expression in the thunderbolt.

Find your leverage, seize the year.

New Year/New You: Double Down!

2012-01-17T22:43:00.000-05:00

On to tackling the prompts of "Relax, Don't Do It" and "Something You've Been Putting Off".

Relax, Don't Do It, was easy enough for me.. as I had a bunch of e coli to work my way through. So that took care of itself.

Something I've been putting off was a bit harder. I generally keep my schedule packed so tightly that putting things off causes things to go horrifically awry.

Though, I honestly found myself putting off less projects, and more approaches.. like innovation, and really reaching out past the routine and the regular to get to something truly stellar. Something I've been putting off is really stepping out of my regular routine, and innovating. Stepping out of my comfort zone, even a comfort zone of near constant work, has generally been a thing I would avoid. I would usually avoid it by doing more work.

Once a plan is in place I am a juggernaught. It's changing the plan, even a bad plan, that I tend to put off.

Thus far I have talked to my various employers about scheduling, researched my continuing education classes, and have begun to not eat like an animal.

It's odd to think that the thing I have been putting off, was making changes generally, but that is where we were.

Two more down, and now adding spellwork to the process is up next.

New Year, New You: Distilling the Prompts

2012-01-17T21:42:00.002-05:00

Since Christmas was a maddening mass of family obligations, and New Years proper was a mass of sickness, I have fallen a bit behind on my participation in New Year New You as far as posting here is concerned.

A mantra that I have been koan like chanting in my head for the past two days or so has been the three questions from Babylon 5: "Who are you? What do you want? Where are you going?" To me, they are less actual questions to be answered, and more a mirror you are polishing to see what is there.

Prompt 2 Setting Goals:

Physical: Eat better, repair my temple (body), and adorn it beautifully. This may involve some wardrobe

Financial: To quote a good friend: "You don't need a pimp! Be your own pimp!" As such I am going to work hard at building my own local practice for private clients. My first step there was re evaluating the places I work, how much money I make at each, and will be scaling back one day and re organizing my schedule in order to have one day solely devoted to hustling my private work. I have an audience picked out, continuing education workshops picked out, working on branding and making myself accessible.

Also: to really do all I can to help Deb's various ventures succeed.

Also also: to start a small spiritual consulting business to serve my community. Combo village witch and traditional wizard. I don't nearly think that it will be my bread and butter. We'll see where it goes.

Spiritual:
*Learn astrology.. finally. It's time to get the full Hermetic Trifecta complete: Alchemy, Theurgy, Astrology. Any book or course recommendations?
*Keep on keeping on the Great Work.
*Leave my tower, and use what services and products I can provide to help my community. (see how that goes along with financial up above? Stacking your goals reinforces them.)
*Build with Deb our in house practice.
*Grab me some more Feri training if possible.

Romantic:
*Get married! There are so many steps and plans here it would be painful to list them. Suffice to say, they are in place.
*Have Adventures: Romance and adventure go hand in hand. Vague I know, but there are shows, and a honeymoon on the horizon.
*Continue to build our Hearth together.

Them's some of my goals for the New Year, folks.

Up next: Relax, Don't Do It, and Something You've Been Putting Off.

Illness and Clarity

2012-01-12T13:24:00.001-05:00

Don't worry folks, still alive and kicking. Pushing forward on my New Year New You work, and trying to play catch up from some chronic illness crap that has been floating around since Christmas.

Illness has brought a lot of clarity, much of it in my least lucid of moments. I've spoken with the Gods and Familiars I work with, and have had a lot of time to really reflect on what I want and where I am going. The plans I had for this year have changed some, more in line with what I've found I really want and what really makes me happy.

As I've been recovering, I find myself with a renewed sense of purpose, an excess of willpower, and a much clearer head. I cleaned and organized physically, but didn't realize how much internal cleaning and organizing I had to do until it was all laid bare in a few days of fever.

Things are much clearer now, and I am glad to be back in saddle.

Next will be a barrage of New Year, New You updates, followed by crap of my own. For now, I must get back to work, and couldn't be happier.

How I Spent My New Year

2012-01-02T18:09:00.000-05:00

You know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men, right? Such was my New Years experience.

I work a nice half day with no problems. I get home, find some clothes, get ready to go out, and promptly throw up. Apparently I had contracted a stomach virus from a mutual friend and rode that mess out till we are where we are today.

New Years Eve was graphic and awful. I remember shivering on the couch with my dozen times emptied puke bucket by my side, while Deb very gently touching one of my feet and wishing me a happy new year. I think I managed to push my foot into her hand and croak out a reply before falling back unconscious.

I honestly do not remember New Years Day. It's just a blur of in and out of consciousness with some background noise television, and Deb being the best sick nurse ever and keeping me hydrated and even managing to choke down some toast that night.

Today I am feeling much better and managed to clean up most if not all of my germ ridden doom from around the house.

Now, some of you might feel this is an ill omen for the new year. I disagree. I think it is a very literal out with the old and in with the new. Hell, I even managed to spend most of new years day with a consciousness wavering between worlds. That's.. magical, right?

Also, it was hella motivating, because damn was that scary. I have not been that sick in about five years. In my now two days on the mend, I realize how much I may have taken for granted having good health and an able body. Hell, even how much I've taken for granted having an able mind. The past two days were not exactly the most lucid of my life.

It helped me take stock of my gifts, and all those things I dearly love and appreciate. It helped me to be motivated for the year to come. It helped me to be more kind, compassionate, and appreciative. It probably also helped me lose about 5 pounds.

Here's to starting the new year strong! I am now going to try to eat solid food. Wish me luck.

Jesus, The Sun, and Alchemy

2011-12-25T18:44:00.002-05:00

The Black Virgin showing the
Way to The Self Perfect Stone

Time for the obligatory Christmas Post! YAY!

Just a few thoughts as an Alchemist, someone who was brought up in the Catholic Church, and now a Pagan.

To Alchemists, rarely speak plainly, Jesus has an even deeper meaning than just being a cult figure and Savior. Even to many of those Alchemists who were practicing Christians.

Both as an Alchemist and a Pagan, I see the big J.C. as a naturally occurring example of the Stone Itself. An evolved form of that same energy we see in the Sun, but in a human person. That force that evolves, enlivens, causes change, and urges life forward. That force that heals.

The Martinists (as much as I can glean, not being one) refer to Jesus as "The Great Repairer", and to me that rings true across the board. Jesus as a person who is a manifestation of that force that causes life to stir in the womb, that heals your wounds, that ferments wine, give quickening back to the dead, and can change the physical body into a true Body of Light and Power.

The Feast of the Nativity taking place around the Solstice to celebrate the return of the Light to the world doesn't actually upset me as someone who identifies as Pagan. It's actually quite fitting, so no butt hurt is felt on my part. In fact to me, it's a good thing. The Nativity matching close to the Solstice serves to move a bit of the literalness from Christianity, make it more Mythic, more Epic, more Cosmic in scope, which I think is really cool, and allows for greater contemplative depth no matter how it happened.

The Black Virgin is impregnated by the Spirit of the Mind of God, and gives birth to a perfect reflection and incarnation of that same Mind and Spirit. Honestly, the whole Gospel story can be read as an Alchemical allegorical tract with little effort, even before we start digging into Qabalistic techniques.

So, this Solstice, I praise the return of the Light which brings for Life, be it on the horizon, in a Menorah, or in the heart of a human being, who may have been born in a cave, or who may be simply reading this right now. From where I sit it's the same root, merely different blooms.

Book Review: Opening the Book of Lambspring

2011-12-25T17:15:00.000-05:00

Greetings Interblag!

Today, on this most festive of festivities, I wish you a Merry Christmas, and Blessed Holidays. The actual Yule/Christmas post will come later. For now I want to do something important: Urge you to buy "Opening the Book of Lambspring". Well.. if you have any interest in Alchemy.

I know I am late to the Review Jamboree that happened weeks ago, but honestly I can't say enough good about this book, especially if you are, or want to be, an Alchemist in the Hermetic tradition.

Our dear Brother, AIT, goes emblem by emblem and makes them make sense. Honestly, that isn't the best part. The best part, to me, is witnessing him explain the emblems in detail slowly, ever so slowly, shows you what reading the Book of Nature, and understanding the Language of Birds is all about. Alchemists think sideways. Reading real Alchemical texts are a lot like speaking to someone very interesting, who doesn't speak a word of any language you do. Even the words you may have in common have different meanings. It is less reading, and more having a conversation.

AIT does a wonderful job of being a translator of some of the things the Emblems have to say. That's the thing, the same emblems, the same texts can have quite a few equally valid interpretations. In this work, AIT really shows you the process through example. No one can teach you the Language of Birds, you simply must start learning to understand it. Reading AIT trace Meaning through the Emblems is the closest I have ever seen to someone actually teaching the Language. You witness his conversation with the Emblems, and honestly, it's beautiful.

Also, its a great work on the sexual aspects of internal Alchemy.

For you ease of purchase, you can pick it up here.

New Year/ New You: A Good Beginning.

2011-12-15T09:47:00.000-05:00

New Year/ New You: Prompt 1: Cleaning, Cleansing and Organization.

We have a decent cleaning routine around the house to begin with, not perfect, but decent I'd say. Especially for the amount of space we have. It is harder to keep up with around the madness of the holidays, but it pays off. In fact after I finish this post, the dining room, and living room with become my next conquests!

Obviously I have been hawking my books long enough to show that I am serious about this cleaning regimen. Sometimes it was like the show, Hoarders where I just couldn't put what ever book it was in the box. I hadn't touched it in years. Hadn't finished reading it, and knew logically I never would, but I hung on for security's sake. I would waffle, but eventually it would go in the discard/donate or sell pile. Mind you I still have a colossal amount of books, but now it is manageable. As more time goes on, the weeding will continue.

There is a harder aspect to this: old habits, old relationships, old thought patterns, anything that is not of use, was never of use, and holds you back. Things that take up space. Toxic things and dead weight. Included here are old and stagnant habits in my career and general workplace, as well as mental habits that lock me into old ways of feeling/behaving/viewing the world.

Luckily, I don't seem to have any dead weight friendships or relationships. After being a nomad for so long, and a Hermit for even longer, the friends I have left, though I see them less than I like, are true friends indeed. Friendship must be more than a habit or convenience. We argue, disagree, annoy each other, but we are down for each other. Most of my social weeding was done over my Saturn Return, and made both me, and the relationships that endured both stronger, and more honest.

Clutter like that causes stagnation of Life Force, as well as stagnation of Mind. Magically, physically, and psychologically you need to clean these things out, and move stuff around. Bound Life Force becomes toxic as it stagnates. It's like holding your breath: that clean air you inhaled will be less useful if you hold on to it for about five minutes. Cleaning breaks up atrophy, and in a very real sense is freeing.

Organization:

Organization is more than "a place for everything, and every thing in its place." It is having things ready when you need them. Being both where they are supposed to go, and in good repair to be of use. I honestly have some dining room chairs to glue, once I get a belt to clamp them in place.

I will also get my diaspora altar set up ready to go, a bit steadier so I can break it out and break it down at a moments notice if need be.

I think the biggest organizational project physically around the house will be the "Saga of Shpare Oom/ Work Room," as that will have many effects through out the house both physically and magically.

As far as Gods go for help, I am a big fan of Janus who is essentially the Face of Chaos (when ever Chaos wants to begin a new thing.. anything.), and was called "The First" by the Romans. Like Lord Ganesha, He was also given first offerings and place of precedence. He also rules over Time itself. Speaking of Lord Ganesha, He would be equally as awesome to have on your side during this process, especially in His role as remover of obstacles. Believe me, if you do this for real, you will find some. Also, Lady Hecate to light the way.. but honestly I work with Her for everything.. so I am extremely biased in favor of Her universal awesomeness.

Also, I have made a conscious decision to NOT play Skyrim. I feel that will greatly help me be more productive.

New Year, New You!

2011-12-12T11:00:00.000-05:00

Because Deb is incapable of not starting revolutions, she has brought forward a new offering in the "New Year, New You" project. There are three main things I like about this:

1. We start when it's hardest to build momentum.

2. This time the revolution is internal. (Revolutions often involve bail money.)

3. It's equal parts Art and Science. Art tends to fizzle once the hangover ends, and science can be a lot like pushing a rock up hill with no inspiration.

Honestly, I hope it goes viral. A community of pushing hard and strong when the light is dimmest for positive self change. Which leads inevitably to positive change in the community. It is a way to re enchant the world by re enchanting yourself.

It also plays to the main strength of our blog-o-sphere. Inspiration catches like wildfire from person to person, beating in circular waves in a web made of thought, lightening, and metal. The inspiration you give, is the inspiration you get back in turn.. only with outside insight and momentum.

I'll be along too, a participant and community member. It is a good thing to live your Truth, and I don't mind showing the process. My own small whispers from the Language of Birds, my own readings of the Book of Nature. Hearing God(s) speak through Fiction and Fact, bring the Truth from Myth, and tapping stray words for mana to run your transformation.

I'll be seeing you, out there.

Query: When do Seasons Greetings turn into a fist fight?

2011-12-01T07:39:00.001-05:00

The REAL Sorcerer Supreme.

Answer: When Jason does something Christian. Go on.. read it... Comments too.

This was originally going to be a comment over yonder, but it grew to unwieldy size so now it's a post. Now that you are caught up, a few things:

1. Sean the Sorcerer is not the Sorcerer Supreme. That title belongs to Doctor Voodoo. That's right, Doc Strange gave it up. Bravo on all especially AIT for the slapstick in the comments section. Also, the dude on his front page, is that him or is that the dude from the Dungeons and Dragons movies? I think the latter.

2. Anger over anyone wishing you a Merry Christmas IS silly. They are essentially wishing you a nice day. I think I shall start doing seasonal blessings with, "In this Yuletide, may you not be hit by a city bus!" (Tempt Greyhound at your own peril.) It usually isn't meant as a way to harass or convert. As always YMMV, as I live in the liberal, blue state, north east of the United States.

However, as members of minority religions it would be nice to get equal representation, like the American Senate. Currently, though, I think we have budding representation by percentage, much like the American Congress. As Pagans we are getting our own headstones, our own chaplains, our own cultural recognition, (especially around All Hallows) and various other ways in which we are being accepted. If we want more, we have to work more, not to mention work at building our own communities and social infrastructure. Keep making positive change, spreading correct information, and being a good example of Pagan virtue. Maybe run for mayor.. or congress.. whatever.

Pagan culture in America is steeped in radicalism. Thus we are loud. So long as we are constructive and loud, I don't see a problem. Honestly maybe we can just focus on being constructive, as I am getting older and young people being loud (outside the bedroom! Zing!) is starting to get annoying.

Merry Christmas from Krampus and Lady Friend.

Seriously though if we want more representation in culture generally, then we have to step up and really take an active hand in education and the building of our own culture, and taking part in culture generally. Unless you live in a place where this can get you legally or illegally killed. In that case stay quiet or please find somewhere safe to live.

Do you know what I say when someone wishes me a Merry Christmas? I say Merry Christmas right back. Why? I don't feel like having the conversation. It is assumed that I am Christian, and correcting that every time it is said is tiresome. People who know I am Pagan usually have an exchange like this with me:

"Merry- Oh.. that's right. Umm.. Happy- er. What do you Celebrate?"
"Yule, also called Solstice"
"Oh, ok. Happy Solstice?"
"Yes, and Merry Christmas Aunt Donna."
Fin.

Does this put me back in the broom closet? I don't think so. I just don't wear my pentacle on my sleeve, and choose to be polite to strangers or acquaintances I have minimal interaction with, instead of making it a big thing.

Another acceptable response is "I am not Christian, but thank you, and Merry Christmas to you, as well."

3. Jason is right, there is no war on Christmas. At the last Grande Sabbat we put the motion for a war on Christmas on the table for discussion. As usual that was quickly followed by Becky getting bent over said table, and well.. we were all very drunk at the time. So not a lot got done. Except Becky. (boom.)

Oh Germany, you make Christmas fun.

Seriously though, as minority populations grow, we just want to be recognized, and our right to exist affirmed. However, though it is an understandable assumption that most folks you run in to are nominally Christian, it IS culturally insensitive. A majority population in a multicultural society has to step lightly and carefully if it really wants to respect the minority cultures within it, as the majority has big feet.

Witch hunts are still not hard to stir up in some areas, and many of my fellow Pagans have suffered for their beliefs a the hands of the ignorant, misinformed, or simply cruel. We still fight for the recognition as a legitimate religion, though legally recognized. These things leave a mark. Yes, we can get defensive, but that is because we are used to being attacked as a culture. Our narrative is steeped in persecution, and I don't mean by Christianity. Persecution was done through various churches, but the real source of the persecution is an insular, bigoted, ignorant majority culture behaving like simple panicked primates. The same thing that happened when Pagans rounded up Christians. In both cases it was a majority cultural narrative that proclaimed ex cathedra that anything not in line with it, was not just invalid, but a threat to be removed.

4. Jason's focus on Christianity isn't new, though his increased focus may be. Anyone who has known him personally, or really read his blog for a long time would know that. He isn't giving up Occultism either. A list of Christian Sorcerers has been repeated twice in the post in question. He's still going to be the same dude. May be he'll be a little happier, as he's following his heart, which in this case is a pretty ballsy thing to do in the Occult world. May he be one of a great many Christian Esotericists who are friendly, smart, and open minded. As an Occultist I owe a lot to Agrippa, Ficino, et al. Who though still Christian preserved Pagan and Magical lore.

When I read his post I honestly imagined a far harsher recoil than was presented. It freaks people out, when one of our own goes back to Christianity. More so that, than any other religion. That person is some times looked at as being a betrayer of the Old Ways, and suddenly completely untrustworthy. Which is sometimes the case if they convert to a very radical or fundamentalist sect. But most times.. not so much. We must trust one another to make our decisions as adults about our spirituality. If the man wants to share his journey, awesome! If not, awesome! Because it is his journey to share, and his mind, body, and heart that made it. At the very least, the man deserves the respect some of us wish we had gotten when we converted out of Christianity.

After all there is no telling where any of us will end up, because I agree, Truth really is a pathless land. If you keep an open mind, and heart that is.

Book Removal.. FOREVER!

2011-11-11T06:07:00.001-05:00

Greetings Interblag!

Remember Book Removal Wednesday? That was fun wasn't it? Good times.

Do you know what else it was? A colossal pain in the ass with my schedule. Especially since very little sold. The "Time I spend doing this" vs "Money I make off of this" push pull was not in my favor. I mostly wanted the books out, but hated listing them. Allegedly I may have had a Hoarders-esque merry go round in my head of things to keep, things to toss, really wanting to get these things out of the house... but some how emotionally unable to actually get them out.

I carried my library with me through seven moves in seven years. We've been through a lot together.

Luckily, I have a Partner who is willing to help. Seriously, she volunteered to sort through well over a hundred (possibly closer to two hundred) books in my discard pile, and put them up on Amazon. Also thrown in for good measure are old RPG books that we haven't used in a million years or perhaps ever. It was a big job. Way bigger than she knew she was getting in to. It was kind of satisfying to see her look both confused and impressed as I drag box after box out for sorting. Apparently I am very good with spacial reasoning and geometry.

So, if you want to buy my book swag they will be over here on Amazon till.. well.. they get sold. To anyone who buys over the weekend, they will have to ship on Monday due to Veterans Day Weekend.

The Work Room

2011-11-10T07:42:00.000-05:00

In our house there is a sticky subject. That sticky subject is Shpaer Oom. Also known as The Office, The Coat Room, Where they cats are lazy, but never ever, "Spare Room". It is a limnal place! A place between worlds! Also: A place to keep clutter.

We both had grande hopes and disagreements on what exactly it should be used for. The only thing grander than our hopes and disagreements, is our disappointment with how we've handled this space. As Deb's sister would say, "This is shameful." A phrase usually only trotted out in those peculiar cases when Sissykins is actually proud of how poor your behavior has been. It's a sign that you are on the cusp of "Awesomely Bad" and "Awesome".

Over the last week we finally come to a consensus. Instead of some mediocre clutter hole of overflow storage that we could not be bothered to deal with right now. It never had an identity before. It was an incarnation of that old trope of irresponsibility, "Whatever happens, happens!"

What started as a disagreement, slowly became an office, and now will move in to its full as, "The Work Room". Any productive work will be done, in the Work Room. Especially magical work.

Rooms have a flow to them, a resonance. It's why we put on special clothes for ritual, work in the same place, etc. Some places of power are just naturally there. A pooling of primal force that fills you with awe or turns your mind and spirit to this or that. Some are made. The great cathedrals, battlefields, scenes of great deeds or horrible tragedies. Even just rote repetition of the same actions, the same thoughts, the same patterns over and over again, it wears a psychic groove into the spirit world, patterns it through use.

Place is important in Magic. There are entire Magical discaplines based on fixing up your place. Sacred Geometry, Feng Shui, Temple building, even what Jason terms as "Zone Rites" all fit within Place Magic. You are securing your Place. You are sanctifying where you are. You are reorganizing your environment. The old neophyte triad of "Ground/Center/Shield" is all Place Magic. All rather important I'd say. Especially given so long as you will live you will occupy space/time coordinates, and this is basic/advanced space/time Magic!

One big stumbling block in the negotiations has been the differences in our magical traditions. Our native traditions do not so much blend well. Examples:

Scene: The Parlor
Deb: Notice anything honey? I had my Dianic circle over! What's that feel like to you?
Jow: Like I am in a play by Euripides. If you and the ladies are going to rip me apart, please leave my junk on, it's really all I ask.

Scene: Also The Parlor
Jow: I did arcane rites of unimaginable POWER! FOR THE GOOD OF ALL! BWAHAHAHAHA! How's that for you?
Deb: I feel like throwing up, so I can tell it's working.

Fin.

Due to a complete lack of traditions that are given to melding, or an inability to navigate some cognitive dissonance between them on both parts, we've decided to make one up. We'll let you know how that goes.

Back to the subject at hand. It's not just about a clean environment, it's about a well organized and properly used environment. One of the reasons I dig hoodoo cleansings so much, that AIT pointed out to me, is that you start on the physical, and work your way up. The Spiritual manifests in the Physical. It both blooms and roots here. That is part of the beauty and terror of what we do. Weather we realize it or not, we are in a very real sense, changing the world. Sometimes you start by sweeping out the corners and cleaning under the chairs.

The Focus Board Discard Pile

2011-11-07T09:41:00.000-05:00

While putting together my own focus board, I had many ideas. Goals to accomplish, merits to acquire, people to drain of their essence and mix it into the crucible of my being. Not draining them of their literal essence, mind you. If that were the case my focus board would be a lot of Christina Ricci, Christina Hendricks, and Elijah Wood. But since I already have a pretty flush account in my spank bank, I decided to do something productive and try to better myself.

Now, the non personal things like abundance, health, etc, those I had no problems with. However when picking images of people to emulate I seem to miss the mark on occasion. I have a tendency to pick those I admire, though they may not actually be GOOD to have on a thing that I am going to use to reshape my personality, and help chart my life. So now I give you the top five of my focus board discard pile, and the reasons why they didn't make it.

How was your day, Pumpkin?

Number 5: Noah Bennet: "The Man with the Horn Rimmed Glasses" (Technically they are called "Browline") from "Heroes" fame. Noah is the penultimate "Man with a Plan." He makes 1950's cold war dad look sexy. He loves his family. In a world of over powered people he gets shit done. He seems a perfect fit, right?

Well no. See Noah is quite honestly mentally deranged. He has what we would call a very low humanity score. He had his wife and children mind wiped so many times that it may have caused them injury. He keeps dangerous secrets that put his family in danger in the guise of protecting them. He also cut the throat of a defenseless enemy who was starting a big ole "turn my life around and become good" character arc. He did so in a manner that made it abundantly clear that afterward he might get a burger, or go bowling.. maybe read the paper. Just another checked off item on his to do list. Discard.

Number 4: Superman. I am not a huge Superman fanboy, but he is a powerful symbol of all that is good an true. Also, he is completely unrelatable. You cannot ask yourself "What would Superman do?" Because it often includes things such as: Flying, Space Travel, Being Invulnerable to everything but a special space rock, and of course being super strong, super fast, and otherwise "Gary Stu"ed to all get out. Also: It is easy to be all good all the time if you are essentially an unstoppable Juggernaut of daring do. Superman is good because he is better than us biologically. He rarely has to make tough decisions that will cause him long lasting harm. Much like it is easy to be generous when possessing vast wealth, it is easy to be good and kind when you cant be hurt and can stop any enemy generally.

I also did not like that Supes' had a weakness to Magic.

Number 3: Albus Dumbledore: I know, you must be thinking: "But Dumbledore is AAAAAWEEESSOOOMMEEE", and he is.. except when he isn't. He has a good heart, but is prone to megalomania, and like Noah Bennett above will do just about anything "For the Greater Good", much like his old paramore. He ends up lonely, troubled, and manipulating everyone around him by necessity to stop a coming catastrophe. He doesn't sleep well. His decisions and machinations haunt him, trouble him. His conscience isn't clear with the things he's done. I don't know if that is better or worse than being totally ok with putting hundreds of children in repeated mortal peril for their formative years. Either way, not what I wish for personally in my dotage. There is also the part where he is murdered. Bad end.

Also: I am prone myself to a focused mania. Especially prone to it when a "greater good" is involved. When I was younger, I once dislocated some one's index finger to prove a point about manners. I'm not proud of it, but it happened. Dumbledore, to me, is the natural progression and result of my own particular brand of crazy. I also do not have a "save the world" scenario to justify my actions.

So close.. yet so far.

Number 2: Doctor Strange: Doc Strange Aaaaaaalmost made it. Almost. He's well balanced, occasionally has love interests that survive, does the Magic. He seems perfect except that he also, is overpowered to the point of unrelatablity. Also his training was in some remote Tibetan outpost, groomed in combat and Magic to one day take up the mantle of Sorcerer Supreme! Most of my magical career has been spent ferreting out old books, piecing together bits of folklore and myth, trial and error. Getting the secrets that have been hidden in plain sight, or thrown away. Dumpster diving for power and profit. Enough discarded secrets from enough places can teach you what lies under the words, under the training. The Real of the thing. Its heart essence. So, mostly because of his impressive show pony pedigree, Doc Strange, though cool, gets discarded.

Number 1: Batman: Now, I AM a rabid Batman fanboy. I loves The Bat. To me, there is no better example for a person merging with their ideals in a proactive way than Batman. In a world of Aliens, Amazons, and Sorcery, Batman through strength of will, a well kept body, and a honed mind comes out on top. He is the ULTIMATE man with a plan, and sixteen contingencies if that plan should fall through. He lives to an old age, with no regrets.

He is also more crazy and less human than anyone else on the list. Once upon a time, someone was using mind control to make Bruce Wayne hear voices and seem crazy. At the end of the fiasco, someone asked "How did you know you weren't crazy?" and the answer was, "The voices kept calling me 'Bruce'. That isn't what I call myself."

Batman is Batman. Batman is not Bruce Wayne. He is a person become a force. He is a Hero-God in the same epic and tragic way of Heracles. He is his work. He has allies, not friends, not love. He is consumed by his mania to the point of transfiguration. Unlike Dumbledore, Batman doesn't lose sleep.

-Babs Gordon shot in the spine? No problem.
-Dead Robin number 2? Catchin' Z's.
-Might need to implement contingency plan to kill Superman tomorrow? Might need an extra protein shake in the morning.

There is also the issue of The Bat being the LEAST relatable of all of the above. He is less relatable to me than an indestructible alien. I did not have my parents murdered in front of me at like age 8. I was not born into money so old that it predated the formation of the United States. I do not have a network of spies and informants. I do not have near unlimited resources and free time to pursue my mania.

I stand by my statement: Batman is not a human being. Bruce Wayne is simply the vessel for the force known as Batman. I have no problems identifying with impersonal forces and bringing them to manifestation in myself. However, I don't want to life that Batman leads. No love life, no real happiness as we would recognize it. Only duty.

There is a saying among both cops and firemen, "You are the job" or "You become the job". It's where everything else takes a back seat and you really do, in a way, lose part of yourself to the job. I can lose myself, just not to THAT job.

Course Review Monday: Strategic Sorcery

2011-11-01T05:10:00.000-04:00

Nota Bene: I know it is technically Tuesday, but due to some snow related internet connectivity problems, this was the soonest I could get this review out. On with the show!

In honor of the next release of the Strategic Sorcery Training Course by the invariably sweet smelling, Jason Miller, I would like to offer my humble review of the course.

When I heard that Jason was offering a course, I was super jazzed. I've been lucky enough to see him speak on several occasions. So of course I was an apple polishing goon and wanted in on the alpha session.

Breaking the course down, it's a step by step to the Strategic Sorcery Arcana and Approach. It's essentially two intermixed classes in one. It is one lesson a week for 52 weeks, along with 12 homework assignments.

I am not going to do a break down the course, bit by bit, as Chris DeGraffenreid did that already in his excellent course review over at his blog, Sorcery and Spirit. What I will do, is break the course down into its two aspects, and then what I got out of it.

The Strategic Sorcery Approach: Basically how to accomplish just about anything using a combination of Magic and good ole' fashioned giving a shit. It's more than that though. What Bruce Lee did when he made Jeet Kun Do, Jason is starting to do with Strategic Sorcery. I am honestly really excited to see where he goes with the whole system. It's an amazing way to rethink and reorganize your practice. It's not just the individual pieces of the approach, but how they are organized and laid out to you bit by bit. It's very easy to understand, and it's broken down in such a way that it is very easy to implement. It's all about getting the best results for your work. Weather you are a seasoned practitioner or a complete beginner, I think everyone who takes the course will get something out of it just for this aspect of it. For me this part was the most useful.

The Strategic Sorcery Arcana: Magical works and practices specifically unique to this system. It's honestly really cool stuff. There are spirits and sorcerous bodies, planetary sigils, specific empowerments, and more. I tried all of it, and it all worked for me. There are some traditional techniques, and many completely original ones. Even the traditional lore is presented in a way that I, at least, got something new out of it. For me, this part was the most fun.

What I got out of the course: A better meditation practice to be sure, and that has helped me in quite a number of ways "both on and off the mat" so to say. I got a lot of new insight to practices that I've been doing for quite a while. Let me tell you, new eyes, and new insight, can be invaluable. I really loved the original techniques of the system, and find them quite effective. More than anything, however it helped me reorganize my very eclectic practice, and putting everything in it's proper place with regards to my own, very practical, life goals.

All in all it's a really fun course that is full of good information, and lots of valuable insight. It's some of the distilled working practices of a very smart and talented sorcerer who is leading the life he wants to lead. That last part is very important to me. If you have phenomenal cosmic power, but can't hold a job, lead a happy life, or otherwise achieve anything you set out to do.. honestly, I flat out don't believe you. I've seen Jason walk his talk, and do it well.

Highly recommended for your Magical continuing education credits.

Selling Out, Buying In, and Shutting Up.

2011-10-24T13:02:00.000-04:00

Great post here, over on The Alchemists Garden, that I thought deserved some comment in light of all the talk lately. Please go read it. It's a great post with a lot to say, and the comments are also very enlightening.

Harold does have a point. There has been a certain amount of declawing to get Neopaganism accepted by the mainstream culture. Respectability comes at a price. I am not sure that is a bad thing. Forty or Fifty years ago Mrs. B. (as an example)would not be able to safely exist and practice. Even if her house wasn't burned to the ground, she could still have stood a great chance of having her children taken, and being socially and economically shunned by her community, and harassed by both religious and civil authorities. Those things would not be strictly legal, but they would happen. They have happened.

It is interesting how it takes so much grand standing, protesting, marching, court cases, and publicity for we as minority groups to just seemingly sell out a few scant years later. We give much attention to those things that make us different, unique, and in our rush to be accepted, it seems that we have to give those very things up, in a long and circuitous rout in order to BE accepted.

Seems that way, but I don't think that it is. Take our proverbial crinoline wearing leather daddy. He is up on a float, in a parade, and hopefully will be wildly fucking someone later on that night. If he's not too tired. No pressure. But he doesn't go to work at Wolfram and Hart the next day, looking like that. (maybe he does.. bad example..) He puts on a suit. He is no less special. He is no less gay. He may not even be in the closet. He isn't Leather Daddy Craig. He's just Craig from HR. That is what we've been working for: to not be seen as an inaccurate stereotype.

We must buy in to the dominant culture to some extent to change it. There is a movie called "SLC Punk", about the Punk movement in Salt Lake City, Utah. It's fiction, but it has a strong moral. You can buck the system all you want, you can isolate yourself, but if you want to really change the system, you have to get involved in it. You will change it, and it will change you. Nature of the beast.

If I want to have dinner with the Queen of England, I better show some manners and know my etiquette. If we as minority religious groups want a serious seat at the global religious banquet, we have to some extent do the same, and do our best to stay true to ourselves in the process. It's not easy, but if that is what we want as a community, it is necessary. It is the necessity of what happens when we go from a closed community, to an open one. Does it dilute your power or identity? I don't think so, but it does change them, but that change is natural. No change at all happening to a new environmental stimulus would be the thing that is unnatural.

Our culture will survive in our own communities. Think Chinatown, Harlem, Little Italy, Curry Canyon, the whole damn Diamond District, Fire Island, The Village, etc. Our community will survive as long as we choose to participate in it and make it strong. Staying connected instead of spreading out and fading away. That way we can continue to influence culture instead of going from buccatini putanesca to egg noodles and ketchup.

As an aside, I also agree that the declawing of Neopaganism turns off those who are more interested in being Witches and Sorcerers Old School style, and does contribute to them going into other Paths such as Brujeria, and Voodou. But those paths also have a strong base community. They remember their roots. As long as we keep remembering ours, there is little danger.

As for Magic proper, "To Keep Silent" is there for a reason. It's a strange thing, as social media has boomed the grande need to share every personal secret nook and cranny of ourselves with anyone who might want to tune in. (I am a blogger, on twitter, and tumblr. I realize the irony.) Magic shouldn't be our dirty little secret, but we shouldn't be slapping it on the table, publicly every chance we get. Much like Craig shouldn't cruise the men's room at work while in his "Dame Fluffernutter" Pony play persona. He'll get fired at best. (Again, maybe not at WR&H, but at most jobs, yes.)

I treat Magic in my day to day, much like the mob treats it's business. The literal translation of "La Cosa Nostra" is "This thing of ours". Secret. Hinted about, discussed among those who know. Not shared to most of my family, discussed with many of my non Magically inclined friends, or even really at Grove where we celebrate as public Pagans. We aren't there for that. You, blog-o-sphere, are part of my Magical community, and some of you overlap with my Pagan community.

The more Paganism is spotlighted as a serious, and acceptable religion, the more Magic will be pushed into the background, into the shadows. That suits me fine. Paganism is growing up. It's becoming a religion with both clergy and laity, some of whom will fire off the occasional spell from time to time, much like your average Catholic with a Novena, but mostly want to worship and be left alone to watch Sports Center or take up bee keeping. (I totally want to take up bee keeping.) That will free up space for we, professional workers, to be left alone and do our jobs.

To me it highlights the difference between Witchcraft and Priestcraft. Priests take care of the public religion, hell, even private religions, and is both pastoral and social. Witchcraft is the stuff of secrets, where we weave the future. As I am bucking for clergy-hood myself, I will be doing both, but there is a big difference between the two, though they overlap. Once there is a clearer split between the religion of Neopaganism, and the Craft proper, I think those who perform either or both roles will be able to navigate the waters of society far better.

We will always have our secrets. They will not be diluted. They will not disappear. The Mysteries are mysteries for a reason. They honestly aren't a good fit for everyone. Let them stay for those who have the talent and inclination for them.

Going Global

2011-10-24T10:27:00.000-04:00

Someone's hands always direct the spotlight.

This post was inspired by three things:

1. The Occupy movement going global.

2. A conversation with a rather well traveled, well moneyed businessman named Barry, who just got back from Paris, and is heading to Hong Kong sometime next month. His lifestyle, and globe hopping make Gordon's look like amateur hour. (No offence, G. Just giving the kids a comparison by scope. Compared to you I am about as mobile as a sequoia.)

3. Gordon's posts here, and here.

We live in a huge, multifaceted, world, kids. It's beautiful, really. In times past I would say that the world is shrinking. That was an error on my part. The world is still as vast, mysterious, and beautiful as always. We've simply grown wings to fly, and made our voices to carry over oceans, and even into the boundless yawning abyss of space.

The world isn't shrinking, but our legs, our minds, our cultures are growing. Some of my favorite posts of Gordon's are his magical turning point pieces. Al Andalus, Rome, Alexandria, all places where different peoples and cultures exchanged Myth, Magic, and Idea.. and got it on, both metaphorically and literally. Our cities still are brewing and reducing Magico-cultural brews both ambrosial and toxic, and from those cities, some of us choose to come here, to a place that isn't a place. A country with no borders, on machines powered by lightening, neither here nor there, eternally a threshold, bleeding and bending our consciousnesses together, typed in strange scripts and couched in perennial memes. The world is changing because of it. Life is imitating Art.

We grow through contagion, empathy, competition, connection, and strife. We've got a hell of a lot of that now. We are living in one of those pivotal times. Those blessed times when the world seems to shift on it's axis. It is far easier to alter a chaotic system, rather than an ordered one.

So, here we are, on the raggity edge, to quote my favorite star ship captain. Our world is changing, and together we are all deciding what it turns in to, by our voices, our actions, inactions, and interactions. Make no mistake it is our world. There is no, "Us vs Them". There are only Us. We are a system, as a planet, a species, an economy, and a Magico-cultural gestalt.

We are, in a sense, one organism, cells in the body of God and all that. Brain is not more important than skin, or stomach, or bones, or fluids, etc. We are all the system. Dysfunction in a living system is nothing more than disease. Our economic situation globally is as if 99% of the blood and fluids in our body were being kept in our marrow or brain.

When I was young, I was a staunch counter culture weirdo, just like all of my friends. The counter culture is just the necessary other side to majority culture, and aspects of it are spreading fast, because as we all are being deprived little by little of those things we need to live, "Us" grows, and "Them" shrinks.. eventually down to that 1%. The problem comes when we forget that we are a system. That to separate us from them, is to treat your left leg or jaw as a separate and antagonistic entity.

Each part must have as much as it needs to thrive. As our capabilities increase, we are going to need to start to think globally, and regularly consider global concerns. Now more than ever, YOU have the power to help change the world.

I am reminded of our Senior Druid hinting heavily that we must step up, to carry the tradition forward. We must all step up to carry life and justice forward.

Now I know, some of you might say: "Golly, Jow. That's nice and all. But how? How do I do that thing?"

I'll admit that this is not second nature to me, a childe of the 90's. We aren't known hugely for our ability to make a plan and achieve our goals in comparison to our for-bearers. But the answer is simple really: you plot a course.

Spotlights can blot out more than they show.

Step One: Find where you are. Got that? Good.

Step Two: Find where you want to be. A bit harder. We normally focus on where we don't want to be. We've lived in a culture of fear for so long, (Some of us, all of our lives: Communists, AIDS, drugs, gangs, terrorists, etc.) that it can be hard to spot what you want among the sea of what you don't want. Couching your thinking in negatives inspires fear and creates the urge to run or lash out. Couching your thinking in desire, in positives, inspires creative action.

Step Three: Connect the dots. Use all the means at your disposal. Your hands, your Magic, your motherfucking voice. Same as achieving any other goal.

We've been ruled by people with spotlights, showing us where to look, how to behave, what to strive towards. We are Gordon's proverbial fireflies. We shed our own light. In a sea of fireflies all is illuminated. The sky is not the limit. Beyond the sky is a sea of stars that knows no limit.

Make it so. So mote it be.

A lil more on Saturn

2011-10-21T09:05:00.001-04:00

Jack and The Unlikely Mage continued the discussion in neat and interesting ways, but I just wanted to say one more thing about working with Saturn:

When working with Saturn you have to commit. It is going to be uncomfortable, and you need to know that going in. You must not deflect or avoid. If you are not prepared for the discomfort, do not do that thing.

Example: I often deflect with "humor". I use the term loosely, as it is often some of the most horrid, bleak, and unnerving shit you will hear in your life. Oh, you might laugh, but afterwards you'll feel a touch dirtier, and wonder if perhaps I have some sort of collection of human faces at home. Trust me.

The jokes I was cracking at my father's funeral were.. inappropriate to say the least. I blame half the inappropriateness of my own near death experience as a child with the constant stream of morphine the hospital had me on afterward. I still fall in to this trap from time to time.

If you are going to call on Saturn for some constructive destruction, you have to soak in it, and allow the putrefaction to take place. You have to stay there till you are done. Like fermenting booze or baking a cake. If you start the process, you need to finish it. Doing it half way only gets you a gross, half finished mess.

If you stick it out to the end, you'll get something akin to spiritual compost. A ground totally fertile and capable of growing magnificent things.

Jack Talks Saturn

2011-10-20T10:26:00.001-04:00

"Lord of Dreams that Terrify, Sword of Cold and Darkness, free yourself from the heaven's bonds! Be one with my power, one with my body! Let us walk the path of destruction together! Power that can destroy even the souls of the Gods.. Darkness beyond blackest pitch, deeper than the deepest night, King of Darkness who shines like Gold upon the Sea of Chaos, I call upon thee and swear myself to thee!"

-Lina Inverse reciting spellwork invoking the Lord of Nightmares -Slayers Anime Series

Jack said some wise and interesting things in his post on Saturn, here. As a renowned Saturn fanboy I thought it bore comment.

I took the opposite path in.. well.. like all my dealings with Father Saturnus. I choose the path of full immersion. Dive in face first and soak in it. I won't say that I over emphasize for me, but it might be too much for some people. Many times it is a lot like sticking your arm in a deep fryer and leaving it there.

Saturn and I go way back. He is the great necessity. All of my major turning points in life but one, were due to his influence.

*Early realization of the mortality of others? Saturn.
*Shamanic Death? Saturn.
*My own almost physical death? Saturn.
*Dad's death? Saturn.
*My own private seven year fools journey coinciding with Saturn return in both Western and Vedic astrology? Well.. yeah Saturn.

Now I am not one to say I've lived the most trying and horrible life. That's silly. Honestly, I wouldn't change a thing. Saturn has simply always been there. I've always seen Him there. Once you learn to let go, it's actually quite soothing. When you get on well with the multiversal force that causes all things to end, life is less scary, usually.

What ever "this" is, it will fall apart. But if you work with Saturn long enough, you can see where the cracks begin to form, and you know how to keep them from forming, for a time. Those cracks form in everything. Your mind, your family, your job, your health, everything. Saturn rules the solid state. Solid state is the only thing that can crack. If you manage to ascend past Saturn, you get pure Gold, Emphyrian and Incorruptible.

I've always been one to go down to go up. (That's what she said!) I spent a merry seven years doing intensive cemetery practices from my various apartments to better tune in to Saturn's beat. Did you know that it is a difficult task indeed to find a cemetery that is open at dusk, let alone open at night? It's much easier if you find an old abandoned one, like the one that was providentially three blocks away from my last apartment in north Jersey.

Make no mistake, Saturn sets the beat. If you are out of step with that, you are out of step, son.

Saturn is the highest and most terrifying conceivable thing. If you manage to touch past Saturn, you get into the realm of inconceivable things.

I do however agree, that if you are in regular practice, you do need some rest. That is another thing that Saturn rules: rest after labor. A time of reflection and pruning down. If you don't do this periodically, cracks will begin to show, and things will begin to break. Either you make time to do this, or the natural course of things will do it for you. It's good. Keeps you from getting stagnant, or obsessed, or otherwise bogged down. It also tends to give a new appreciation for old practices; the kind you only get when you step away and come back.

Oh and the one turning point that wasn't all Saturn? That was meeting Deb. That was all Venus, yo.

Magic, Evolution, and Other Things

2011-10-11T12:29:00.000-04:00

I was thinking about Gordon's recent post, on how Chaos Magic is good enough for him. I went off on a tangent after Jason's response to him, but I never actually addressed the ideas in the original post proper. Big Magic vs Little Magic. It also reminded me of a past post of Gordon's, here.

Honestly, I don't see a difference in scope, simply a difference in goal. Maybe because this shit is my area of nerdery. I am an Occultism dork. It's a fandom for me. Some people have scifi, or anime, or computers, or fashion (Fashionista is a gussied up word for Fashion Dork. Thank you for that, Deb.), or cars, my dad bred animals as his dorkery.. whatever it is. It's my area of obsessive interest, my passion, one of them anyway. Everyone should have at least one. In fact I would wager that everyone with enough spare time and energy does have at least one, only some are more socially acceptable, like sports, or food.

A thousand, million, fireflies can light up the night just like a spotlight, just like the moon and stars. "Big Magic" is like the Prima Donna belting out her solo. "Little Magic" when done right, is the whole Orchestra. The essence is still Music, still Magic.

By our Work we DO re-enchant the world. Big or Small, it's the doing that matters. My silly ass loves both, because I don't see a division. (I am seeing less and less of those, recently. Soak Universe, soak in my sweet Alkahest!) Spheres, levels, grades, abysses.. They are all good goals. As good as any other.

Traditions older, fancier, and more Baroque are en vogue, currently, and I think that is a good and necessary balance to where we were heading from in the 20th century. I don't think the Magicians and Witches of the 20th led us astray at all with their infusion of psychology, technology, new and strange drugs, and their exploitation of a rapidly globalizing society. We wouldn't be where we are without them.

Much like the mistakes of the Greatest Generation, despite it all, they did the world more good than bad, I'd say. Growing pains, and being people of their own age, and all that. Their children became hippies and revolutionaries in the 60's, and the children of the hippies became yuppies in the 80's, to Gen Xer's in the 90's, To Gen Y and onward. Each generation an outgrowth and reaction to the previous. Each a reaction, a mutation given history, economics, and the prevailing culture of the time.

Thus I will also be happy when the magico-cultural meme changes to the more accessible, more free form, and more hacktivist revolutionary, which will then be balanced out, and then that will be counter balanced, and so on. The pendulum always swings both ways, and thank goodness it does! What a boring, static balance things would be otherwise.

Older strains will continually be reintroduced to strengthen the line, so long as they are useful. New innovations and adaptations will always be welcome, sought out, and cultivated, so long as they are useful to the line. Utility is the key. Success is your proof. The Prince of Darkness himself is part Neanderthal.

In the Dune series, the Bene Gesserit stopped trying to breed a static superman, after they managed to get one. Order was established by the God King. Order has a beginning, a middle, and an end. After the reign of the God King, they took a lesson from him, and focused on breeding in diversity, a genetic soup geared towards producing exceptional individuals, who instead of creating a paradisaical order, were able to navigate chaos. Adaptability over a static ideal.

Various memes will rise in Magic as they do in culture, or genetics, Thesis, Antithesis, Synthisis, which develops its own Antithesis.

I've always wanted participation, and recognition within a given meme. I wanted to BE that static ideal. But that requires an outside validator, someone to be accepted by, and the acknowledgement that I am participating in someone else's game. For whatever reason, I needed that validation, needed to be accepted. To be in with the in crowd. Perhaps it was the large swaths of time I spent alone.

Except I always had to tailor myself TO the in crowd. A personality, shaped and buttressed by the personalities around me. Nature unfolds spontaneously and naturally, and so shall I. I will not live for the approval of the breed trait to judge my worth. I am a mutation; I am my own breed. I set my standard.

What the King Said to Me

2011-10-09T15:50:00.002-04:00

I am sitting here, my beard smelling of prosecco, my belly full of mimosa, still inhaling the scent of the McKittrick Hotel. My legs scream every time I try to stand or walk, and my voice has taken a gravelly baritone usually reserved for voice over artists. I am covered in stale sweat, booze, smoke, and pondering the recent past, and what the future may hold. Let me show you how I got here.

Yesterday, Deb, some friends, and I went to see Sleep No More. After Deb's exciting shamanic extravaganza I totally was down for going and seeing the sights. I walked a labyrinth, saw a room become a forest, and back again, and lots of other amazing stuff. It was glorious. There are some very vague spoilers of some things you might see in the production, so if you intend on going to see it, and dislike spoils, then please stop reading here.

I am going to be honest, in addition to the few things I had on my mental check list as sights to see, I was also seeking an Omen. Omens are honestly my favorite form of divination. Continuing this honest streak, most of the Omens I've been getting lately, have been less than good. Signs of some recent discord, betrayal and tragedy that have cropped up in my circle. High drama? Life drama, and all of the above definitions aptly apply.

I did not check off most of my check list. I did, however, get my Omen. I was masked, walking through a ball room, trailing after an older man who I would come to realize is the King. The King turned to me, and we locked eyes; I couldn't keep from tilting my head to the side like a dog. The King boldly strode up to me, pulled me in close, and whispered into my ear, "Knowest that thou art the temple of God, and whoso ever defileth the temple of God, he God shall destroy. For God watcheth over His holy temple.His temple that thou art."

Actually, I got a second Omen as well. I was intent on finding the Witches, especially their Magnificent Queen. I saw her briefly, sashaying through a hallway, the perfect picture of grace, sexuality, and power. I lost sight of her in the mass of people that were clamoring around. That was the part that made me saddest. I kept running in to the King and saw his whole cycle. He was accompanied almost constantly by his Maid, so I got to see her much as well. In fact at one point she actually cornered me mid performance, every move I made I would always be in her way when I was desperately trying to get out of it. Later, on the walk back to Penn Station, I learned that the performer who played the Maid in our showing (it's always different, who plays who), was also the one who played the Witch Queen. Hiding in plain sight, Madame, very tricky. Rowr.

Steve Jobs 1955 - 2011

2011-10-05T22:42:00.002-04:00

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life,” Jobs said. “Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” -Steve Jobs, Standford University Commencement Address - 2005

Steve Jobs died today of Pancreatic Cancer after a long battle, a thing that PC rarely gives you. There is a Wired tribute article to him here. Though I've never owned an Apple product other than an Ipod, I always admired Mr. Jobs as a larger than life figure in the tech and business world. He went to India to find enlightenment, and created things that weren't there before, which I would say is the mark of a Wizard.

Rest in Peace Steve. You were a great inventor, business person, and all around genius. May you be attended by Hermes and Hephestus, and get teachings from 10,000 Gods of Wisdom. May there be a thousand goblets of the purest water, a thousand plates of the finest food, and a thousand loved ones who you never knew to comfort and watch over you.

Names, Titles, and Labels

2011-10-05T17:44:00.000-04:00

After reading Jason's latest post, I got to thinking about names and such again. Like Jason, as someone who is near painfully eclectic in his spiritual practice, I sometimes wonder if I am doing it wrong, that I can't settle down. I feel, sometimes, like a noncommittal boyfriend, "No, baby, why do we got to put a label on this? Ain't things good just as they is? Let's go back to bed, baby.."

It is then, that I have to take a step back, and realize that I am simply not good at living a monogamous spiritual lifestyle. I take things apart. I break them. I put them back together in new and weird ways. I broadly label myself an Eclectic Pagan Hermeticist. But there are also large doses of Taoism, my own interpretation of Christianity, Qabalah, Huge swaths of Indian thought and practice from Shivite, Shakta, and Buddhist sources, as well as dashes of Japanese Shingon for flavor, saturated in sweet sweet Alchemy.

To say I am just any one of those.. honestly feels like a lie. The Work is typed into the languages of many traditions, and as we go on, as we experience those traditions as living changing things with different flowerings and innovations the differences blur. Sometimes they disappear all together for some of us. Ever since I broke with a fundamentalist upbringing, that is honestly what I wanted. I blinded myself to the essence of the Truth in favor of the written interpretation of that Truth. From then on I wanted the essence, not the package.

Our traditions do not define our essence. They shape our practice. They do not tell us who we are, but allow who we are to accomplish something. In Buddhist thought there are many Yanas, translated usually as "Vehicles". In Japanese thought it is "Do" or way. In many others it is "path". Some of us skirt the boundaries, weaving through different paths, on our own path that isn't a path. For some of us, our path is where ever we put our feet, well worn, or wilderness.

Either way it doesn't matter, because we are all co workers in this. All children of the same earth and sky and what rests beyond them. It is the living spirit that defines us, not the dead letter.

Post Crucible Wrap Up

2011-10-02T22:16:00.002-04:00

Let's start at the beginning. I woke up at about 2pm. I am so hung over I can barely slur out snark at Restaurant: Impossible. I managed to finally choke down some Chinese take out at around 6pm. Also: I didn't actually go to the Con itself. Yeah, I know. I had to work that day, thus I woke up at 5, worked till seven, home by eight, had dinner, changed, and was on the road to Princeton by 10ish. It was a long night. Our goal for the drive home was to be home before the birds started to sing.

What I know: The Runester's lecture was fantastic. Complete with an "arts and crafts" section where the students made their own rune talismans. He's the man. Case closed.

I heard v. good things about both of Jason's lectures, and RO's, as well as the Quantum Other Worlds Sorcery lecture given by Andreih.

I got to hang out a bit with Jason and RO, and of course the lovely and talented, Deb.

I managed to catch RO and Jason after the lectures closed and spent some quality time chatting with them. I even got to see RO's famous Conjure Box. As someone who has been at ground zero of the thing, let me tell you: it is mighty. RO might have also hinted that perhaps I should blog more.

It was great to see everyone, and though I was only there for a short time comparatively, just being around that many other Workers for even a few hours was unbelievably nice.

Updates and Celebrations

2011-09-29T10:52:00.001-04:00

Greetings Interblag!

I know I've been quite for some time now, but you know I can't quit you. Not quitting you will be so much easier now that I have a laptop of my own again! Hooray! I now also have no excuses for being on top of my correspondences, and Ye Olde Blag. That.. is really the only update so far. You might see a bit of spotty posting here and there, as I try to rekindle my muse, and get back to the business of writing. To that end, I am going to ask you for a favor. (I know. I fuck off for weeks and now I am asking for favors. The nerve!)

I want to know what you want to see here. Have a question? Need an answer? Want to start a fight? Come on! Tell me what you need Interblag. Right now, Daddy (that's me.) feels like he's juggling chainsaws, but he just grew an extra set of arms and now is in need of something to keep them occupied. I cannot stand purposeless idleness. Even my own.

I thank you in advance for your cooperation.

In other news we recently celebrated the Autumnal Equinox with GoG in a ritual dedicated to Lord Yama himself, ruler of the dead. I was privileged enough to be invoking Devi as Earth Mother. Which, by the way, felt to me like taking a fist full of Xanax, while at the same time having a little chateau outside of Time to watch Reality unfold. Pretty damn fine if you ask me. For those new the the Indian Pantheon, I was asked to describe Devi. Our Grove being Our Grove, I used three examples: 1. The Ground of all Being, and simplest thing that could exist. 2. All power and form. 3. A woman with an infinite number of arms, and on each of those arms is a sock puppet, and each sock puppet is a Goddess. The sock puppet option was actually put forth first.

There were a lot of tears and a lot of appropriate silence during the Ritual, and afterwards there was a lot of kabitzing around the fire. The celebrant who invoked Yama himself and I made plans to go to ashrams if our spouses should pass on before us, so they can find us again. He is voting for India, saying that we can follow the Ganges to its source in the mountains and live in a Smashan. I voted for Kauai, as there is a Nath monastery there. There are no Shakti Pithas or Shivalingas made of ice.. but you are living in Kauai. Because if I am going to be a wandering holy man, I want to do it in Kauai. Paradisaical, well policed, Kauai, where there are few jungle cats or other predators that want to eat me.

The wives were then suspicious of us trying to "kill them off" so we can go play in the woods, so I did remind everyone that the boys might die first, where we then declared ourselves after life buddies.

The fire kabitzing also got me thinking about the future of Paganism. We have a lot of elders that are ready to retired, and we need newer, younger folk to start stepping up to take on the burden of leadership in the community. And it is a burden. If you are excited about leadership, I honestly have trouble understanding you. You get burdened with politics and the sum total of the problems of your group. It's a pain in the ass. It also needs to get done. Thus I've decided to up my game and really try to work hard and be able to be of service to the community. Role of the traditional Wizard, I claim you mine.

When I first joined ADF, I felt that "Ping". That knowing that this thing is potentially very important for you. That Ping has happened many times in my life, but it took me reaching adulthood to realize the Ping is not enough. You get the Ping, then you work. The Ping is the seed. Once you get it you can eat it, step on it, bury it, toss it over your shoulder, or plant it, care for it, and grow it into a plant. A ping plant. Or whatever seed happens to be handed you.

Do I think I have a "Grande Destiny"? No. Emphatically not. But I do believe I have a duty to my community to not be a complete and utter leech. As I've been given, it is my responsibility to give back. As I've been nurtured, it is my responsibility to nurture others. That is the Debt we take on when we step on the Path. It's the duty to your linage that once you are mature, you pass it on. Just in this case it's not with my penis. Sometimes. Rarely.

This is evolution! Mutate motherfuckers, and pass it on!

Money in Magic

2011-09-07T12:44:00.002-04:00

Alright people, the first thing I want you to do is watch this video. It's a scene from "Schindler's List", so be warned. Also be warned, the sound is a bit wonky, and I am going to ask you to watch it again at the end of this post.

I've been thinking a lot about money lately. With the global eco-econo-pocolypse possibly looming as it always does, Papa's been thinking more and more about The Hustle lately. Hustle as in making money, not the dance from the 1970's.

Money has had a long history in Magic ever since we invented it as a means of trade. Gift Economy, to barter was natural, but difficult as in order to make a trade we both had to have something the other wanted. If I am a cabinet maker, and you do not need a cabinet, but I need your grain in order to eat I may well be fucked. Then of course we haggle for something you may want, like my watch, horse, wife, or daughter. But people and livestock are very difficult to keep track of. They can run, kick you, or bash in your noggin when you sleep.

Sadly, people, animals, as well as land, et al. are considered commodities, and always have been. We've reorganized people into the umbrella of "Labor" as a commodity, but lets be honest, it's still in the same vein. Thus for ease, portability, and lack of free will we moved from exchanging big bulky things into small things that we all agree have value. Thus the use of shells, bat shit, coins, and salt as a means of currency. Do keep in mind that the term "Salary" comes from the payment of salt wages in classical times. This is commodity money of a different sort. Now the butcher can exchange value with the cabinet maker, even if the cabinet maker is vegan, because they both have something each other wants. There is now a universally agreed upon unity of exchange within a society. It also served to civilize society and spread power away from those who controlled food and water, and more into the hands of the average person.. well.. at least more than they were previously. Now you didn't have to own the water supply to be rich and powerful, you could simply be a financially savvy cabinet maker.

Later still we get more abstract money, such as the paper currency we have now. It used to have an exchange rate for precious metals back in the day, but since economies went off the gold standard, it is now more abstract. Now currency is much more flexable, at least partially debt based, and trickier and trickier to pin down. This leads to the latest development in the Digital.

Money is a talismanic crystallization, a living symbol of VALUE. Money is the very real product of your Labor, your Ideas, your Life! Think of it this way, when you buy a $5 dollar latte, think of how much you make in an hour, you have just spent a fraction of the value of one hour of your life on coffee. This has, btw, helped me curb my spending. When I am going to buy something, I ask myself, is this thing worth this much of my labor, this many hours of my life?

When you hold a stack of currency in your hand, or even a debit card linked to a viable bank account you hold power. Real power. Shakti. Money is the embodiment of a Divine Force. When you hold a credit card in your hand, you are holding Debt. You leverage your life, the value of your sweat and mind, and you pay extra for the privilege. Make no mistake, it is sometimes necessary, but it is none the less someone shaving off a little extra power from you. It means that some of your Life belongs to this institution, in advance, before you even lived it.

When we give coins to the dead to cross over and back safely, when we pay the Ferryman, we are exchanging a small bit of our Life, our Time here. We've got two dollar bills in hoodoo for gambling, as gamblers were said to live off of whore's wages.. about two dollars. All money is a little unsavory. There are no clean feet in a muddy world.

Even our ritual supplies, if we don't wild craft them ourselves we are at least using a little money to buy them. Incense, idols, daggers, books, all cost small paper thin shavings of your life. Sometimes it goes meta: Taoists print hell bank notes for the dead, as well as paper clothes, televisions, video games, cell phones, etc to keep the Ancestors well stocked. All symbols translated to the Great Below, all purchased with real money.

Now, money isn't everything, but it is a powerful force. There are a few who live in a theft based, or gift based, or whatever else based economy still, in small pockets and subcultures. Amongst family and friends money should be treated carefully, more given than loaned, because a loan, is a Debt after all, and all Debts need to be settled eventually. Money is a tool, and quite possibly, the most powerful and versatile talisman we have ever created. Treat it carefully, use it wisely, and never, ever let it rule you.

Money is powerful, and sacred, but only because WE have made it so. It does not have intrinsic value to us like water or food or fire. WE give money it's power, and if we let it wander where it wills.. well.. out of control magical creations do not usually end well.. See the Golem, Frankenstein's Monster, and Mr. Hyde for examples. Money is our ability to translate our value to others in the form of a universally accepted symbol for the purpose of exchange. Money has value because your life has value! USE IT!

When next you see a coin on the street you will know what it really is. When you toss a coin into a well or fountain, leave one at a crossroads, or toss it over your shoulder, know the weight of what you do.

Now watch the video again.

Book Removal Wednesday - Week 2

2011-09-07T11:08:00.001-04:00

Because Hurricane Irene massively messed up the east coast, we are starting our second installment of Book Removal Wednesday a bit late.

Rules are the same, and the clock is ticking. As usual, contact me by Email with what books you'd like at jowness at gmail dottles com. Just do the usual removal of spaces, adding an @ and a "." in the correct places. I'll contact you back and we can set up shipping and payment. Once I have your money, you'll have a new book on the way. Please put BOOK REMOVAL WEDNESDAY in the title somewhere so I will be sure to see it, and can possibly fish it out of my spam filter.

"The Book of the Angel Rezial" -Steve Savedow-$7 -2 Weeks Left!
"The Tree of Life" Israel Regardie 2000 reprint. The edition before the orange Cicero edition.-$7 -2 Weeks Left!
"The Tower of Alchemy" -David Goddard -$7 -2 Weeks Left!
"The Book of Enoch" Lawrence Translation - Acceptable Condition $-7-2 Weeks Left!
"Beelzebub's Tales to his Grandson" -G.I. Gurdjieff-$7
"The Shape of Light" - Suhrawardi -$7

"Magic, Mysticism, and Hasidism: The Supernatural in Jewish Thought" -Nigal -$30
"Commentaries on the Holy Books and Other Papers" -Crowley -$40 -2 Weeks Left!
"The Vision and the Voice" -Crowley -$40 -2 Weeks Left!
"Robert Fludd" -$50 -2 Weeks Left!

Delays and Irene

2011-09-02T07:50:00.000-04:00

Hello Folk!

Just writing to let you know this weeks Book Removal Wednesday will be a little late, (umm.. of course Jow. It is now Friday.) due to Hurricane Irene and various floodings, power outages, and assorted mayhem. We are fine, no flooding, and no loss of power, but surrounding towns and even neighborhoods were not so lucky. We've been playing host for a few friends who were flooded out of their homes, or lost power in the meantime.

Also, for those of you who were awesome and purchased books, I'll be sending them out Monday.

Book Removal Wednesday: First Installment

2011-08-24T23:35:00.002-04:00

I've changed up Book Review Wednesday a bit. I made a solemn oath, some say a deal with dark forces, to downsize my library. Honestly, it has been silly and selfish to hold on to so many books for so long. Most of them I've read, reread, studied, and done everything but fluid bond with since the mid 90's or whenever I happened to pick them up. They are going to waste laying around with no one reading them.

Because I absolutely hate waste, as well as clutter, I am now offering them up to you, the public.

Now, Book Removal Wednesday has rules. Like Fight Club.

The first rule of Book Removal Wednesday: You SHOULD talk about Book Removal Wednesday. Seriously. Tell your friends. I have books that need homes, and would rather give them to those who'd use them.

The second rule of Book Removal Wednesday: Ten books at a time. I'll be listing ten books at a time. So.. that one is self evident. Books purchased will be removed from the list, and new books will be added to replace them the following week. Books left unpurchased will be relisted the following week.

The third rule of Book Removal Wednesday: A Maximum of four weeks per book. No book will be on the list for more than four weeks.

The fourth rule of Book Removal Wednesday: About seven dollars per book. Books will usually be around seven dollars INCLUDING SHIPPING in the Continental United States. Outside the US the price will be about seven dollars plus shipping. The only exceptions will be if the price of the book is dramatically higher at its going rate. Books are all used, obviously, and some times rather well used. Most show mild to moderate shelf wear, and in good to fair condition unless otherwise noted.

The fifth rule of Book Removal Wednesday: First come, first serve. Contact me by Email with what books you'd like at jowness at gmail dottles com. Just do the usual removal of spaces, adding an @ and a "." in the correct places. I'll contact you back and we can set up shipping and payment. Once I have your money, you'll have a new book on the way. Please put BOOK REMOVAL WEDNESDAY in the title somewhere so I will be sure to see it, and can possibly fish it out of my spam filter.

Them's the rules, kids. Now to the books! Where possible I've linked you to Amazon to show you both the book, customer reviews, and in general what the book is going for.

"Prometheus Rising" - 1999 reprint. Robert Anton Wilson- $7 SOLD!
"The Book of the Angel Rezial" -Steve Savedow-$7
"The Tree of Life" Israel Regardie 2000 reprint. The edition before the orange Cicero edition.-$7
"The Tower of Alchemy" -David Goddard -$7
"A Kabbalistic Universe" -Z'ev ben Shimon Halevi- Acceptable Condition -$7 SOLD!
"The Work of the Kabbalist" -Z'ev ben Shimon Halevi -$7 SOLD!
"The Book of Enoch" Lawrence Translation - Acceptable Condition $-7

"Commentaries on the Holy Books and Other Papers" -$40
"The Vision and the Voice" -$40
"Robert Fludd" -$50

Happy Reading!

Blog Shout Out: Musings of a Tantric Sorcerer

2011-08-17T06:14:00.000-04:00

I stumbled on Aghor Pir's blog a few weeks ago, and have been meaning to give it a shout out ever since, but anyone whose ever had a wedding will likely tell you that in addition to the planning being time consuming, paying for the things you've planned can be equally time consuming! But, here we are now, and better late than never!

Musings of a Tantric Sorcerer is a really refreshing look into the life and practices of an actual Aghori. A thing you don't get much in the west.. hell, you don't get much anywhere. Dude really lets you in to his world and work. Marvelous stuff on the Mahavidyas on there. If you dig Indian Occultism at all, you must check it out. You'll be happy you did.

What Did I Harvest for Lammas?

2011-08-02T05:54:00.000-04:00

A freakin' WIFE that's what!

It's totally true! I got engaged this past Friday, and between all the drama associated with that, and working, I haven't had a chance to post much. It's all been good activity to be sure, but there has been so MUCH activity I honestly have yet to shave since Friday. I have to say, it's good to be able to tell about a million people about one thing, yet still keep it a secret from the person you live with, then have her so surprised she is rendered speechless.

As a result of that I am slowly getting even closer to Deb's family, not to mention my own. My family and I have been estranged for a while. Not anything big, but geographically we were not super close when I was growing up. Thus, I had close two twenty cousins, all told, about an hour and change south, who I am not hugely close to, but I care for. So on Saturday I had mom activate the phone tree and tell everyone, with the caveat that the wedding will be v. small, as counting both sides of my family I can easily fill a banquet hall on my own. And that shit is expensive.

So aside from a wife and a bunch of family, I've also harvested a sexier, streamlined spiritual practice. This is in large part to working through Jason's Strategic Sorcery Course. I've harvested direction as an Alchemist by working with the Ordo Octopi. I've also been doing well at harvesting the Capitalist Trinity of Money, Power, and Respect.

All in all, the year has been very fruitful, and I am profoundly grateful for all of it.

Happy (Belated) Guru Purnima!

2011-07-16T06:21:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, being the appropriate full moon, was Guru Purnima, a very special day to honor your teachers, lineage, and spiritual pedigree in the Indian tradition. Being a bastardly work-a-holic lately, I started my work/crash weekend sleep schedule, and was unable to observe formally. In fact, if we are talking truth talk, I totally forgot about it as I randomly dozed while stretched out on the floor.

But today is another day, my friends, and today I will sing to you of the glory of your teachers!

Teachers, especially to we who dwell sideways from everyone else, are like parents. Sometimes awesome, sometimes awful. Either way, like parents they are the necessary preceding link in the chain of spirituality right before ours. Traditionally, the Guru is thought of as more important than your parents, more important than anyone, because it is they that train you for liberation/power/what have you.

I almost agree. The Guru, to me, is like someone who pulls you from the fire, who gives you the needed piece of the puzzle, or teaches you to find it. They push you out of the way of traffic. They teach you a livelihood. Just as important, just as pivotal, but different. Meeting the teacher, either in person, or through their words/deeds, is a turning point. A place where your life literally takes new direction, even if only a jump to the left. The teacher, in some sense IS the crossroads.

We will always be indebted to those who came before us in our traditions, weather bastards or blessings, because they are so pivotal. That said, we are not obliged to be exactly like them, totally understand them, be worshipfully slavish to them, or put up with them if they are cruel, unjust, abusive, or otherwise injurious to ourselves or others.

The Guru helps us become spiritual adults, people that can take care of ourselves, and make our own profound contribution to the world. If we are only trying to be a carbon copy of them, using our mouths to parrot only their words.. we fail. We fail to truly carry on our tradition, and what's more we fail both teacher and self, by simply hearing the words and not witnessing their meaning.

Now, is it possible to get along without a teacher? Yes. Yes it is. But even going it outside of an earthly tradition we will still have the Spirits and Nature herself to teach us. God Herself if the Great Guru, and if nothing, and no one else we should be thankful for the constant self revelation of Divine Reality.

A real Guru isn't there to help you realize how awesome they are. They are there to help you realize how awesome YOU are.

To all my teachers, living, dead, and other, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

Mentats and Wizards

2011-06-13T09:55:00.002-04:00

A helpful quote from Frank Herbert's "Dune", easily as applicable to the Wizard as to the Mentat.

"Above all else, the mentat must be a generalist, not a specialist. It is wise to have decisions of great moment monitored by generalists. Experts and specialists lead you quickly into chaos. They are a source of useless nit-picking, the ferocious quibble over a comma. The mentat-generalist, on the other hand, should bring to decision-making a healthy common sense. He must not cut himself off from the broad sweep of what is happening in this universe. He must remain capable of saying: "There's no real mystery about this at the moment. This is what we want now. It may prove wrong later, but we'll correct that when we come to it." The mentat-generalist must understand that anything which we can identify as our universe is merely part of larger phenomena. But the expert looks backward; he looks into the narrow standards of his own specialty. The generalist looks outward; he looks for living principles, knowing full well that such principles change, that they develop. It is to the characteristics of change itself that the mentat-generalist must look. There can be no permanent catalogue of such change, no handbook or manual. You must look at it with as few preconceptions as possible, asking yourself: "Now what is this thing doing?" " - The Mentat Handbook - Dune

If all we know is our specialty, we are of little use to others or ourselves, and worst of all we are a draining bore on those around us. There is nothing more sad than a boring Wizard.

Shameless Plug

2011-06-13T09:05:00.000-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Blog Cabal, this is a shameless plug of Gordon's latest post over at Rune Soup.

The man has neatly tied a bow around a frothing stew of thought that has been cooking in my mind for a while now. Yes, I mixed a metaphor.

Do yourself a favor, and go read it.

Blog Shout Out!

2011-06-11T06:40:00.000-04:00

In my meanderings on the interblag, I recently stumbled across Mr. Alan Chapman, and through Mr. Alan Chapman, Mr. Duncan Barford. I first found their work about a week ago via The Open Enlightenment Blog, and was rather impressed, to be honest. It's always nice to see sensible folks talking sensibly about the experience of Awakening and Enlightenment, as both a general human experience, as well as cross traditionally. I've watched most of Alan's videos and can't really find much where my own experience contradicts what he is saying. I haven't dug too deep into Duncan's groove yet, so I can't comment much, there. At the very least there is a bunch of very interesting things to ponder and peruse in your downtime, on both accounts.

His and Duncan's Magickal blog: The Baptist's Head

The extra Awesome Open Enlightenment Blog

Things in my little notebook..

2011-06-08T05:55:00.000-04:00

When I am not sorting through plastic bins of books to sell you all at a reasonable price, one thing that I AM doing is scribbling on a note pad like a film noir detective. Partially because I have a shoddy memory, till I master mnemonics, and partly because I write down random motivational thoughts and stories, "Daily Affirmations" style. (It apparently worked for that guy.. as he is now a sitting Senator.)

I will share one story for you now: I have a friend and client, and she has an ex husband. Said friend/client was going through some stuff, and her ex wanted her to know that the mind can make the body do anything. Push it through any limit. She called bullshit, and then he offered to prove it to her.

He would run, and finish, a marathon. Without training for it first. Now, granted said ex was an Olympic level athlete so he would naturally be heads and tails above yours truly when it comes to general body conditioning, but a marathon is a grueling endurance trial for a human body. It takes training. Those people who are constantly running marathons, do you know what they are doing when they are not running marathons? They are training to run marathons. Every day.

Apparently the ex got his phenomenal will power from his parents, who were also Olympians in track and gymnastics respectfully. They were also of German-Jewish descent, and holocaust survivors. I would be motivated too.

So the ex runs, and completes said marathon, in a better than average time. He then promptly spends about two weeks flat on his back recovering from the injuries he sustained while running.

What did I take away from all of this? Aside from being a wonderful narrative kick in the ass when I don't want to move.. The Will can push the body through any trial. Also, an hour or so a day of training is worth more than two weeks of convalescent recovery. Preparation and follow through together are way better than either on their own.

Killing your bad habits

2011-06-02T13:10:00.000-04:00

Many of us have time wasting, self sabotaging bad habits that totally botch our practice. I know I do. It takes a rather strong will just to cut them out and do what you are supposed to be doing. Our bad habits, and self sabotage aren't as much the specific things we do, though more often than not it will be the same thing over and over again. You've literally carved a circuit into your gray matter, and now that is the path of least resistance when dealing with specific situations or even a daily routine.

Auto pilot, habit, is the opposite of authentically being present in your life. You are lizard brain wired to repeat behavior that did not get you killed in the past. From a survival standpoint this is what works. Except it doesn't. Not really. And most of us know that.

For a while now I've been wanting to cut TV out of our lives. I have been met with resistance. I have made every argument I could think of: economic, spiritual, psychological, but each was met with a well reasoned response from the Missus as to why TV is not the problem. It was easy to jump to "She doesn't understand what I am trying to do here! She does not see my Enlightened vision!"

It was harder, to see that she was right. TV isn't the problem. I was. Habitually conditioned to having the television on all the time when growing up, it was a source of comforting background noise. It was even on when I slept as a teenager. And as such it did was it was repurposed by the entertainment and advertising industry to do: Steal my attention. Comfort on tap.

So I decided to actually try to fix the problem instead of treating the symptom. Whenever you try to break a long held conditioned response, things tend to go smoother if you can replace a bad habit with a good one. The success of the E Cigarette has seen this principle out. Once the smoker breaks the chemical dependence, there is still the neural hard wiring, and the psychological predilection to smoke. "Smoking" the E Cig lets the person gradually replace that habitual pattern. I have known some people who have broken the habit by merely inhaling as if they were smoking while raising their hand to their mouth over a course of months. Eventually, they don't even need to do that anymore. The allocated brain space/psychological habit has been repurposed to a large extent.

If you find yourself botching in the same way over and over again, really look at why you are doing that thing. Introspection is a wonder my friends. Getting to the root that makes you do these things helps you stare down that lizard. If you kill one habit, it can easily be replaced by another, unconsciously, if you don't get to the root of it. In my case excessive TV was replaced by voracious reading, especially on spiritual topics, but the main root problem was procrastination, and a tendency to be distracted.

Daily meditation of just sitting there and being in the moment weeds out distraction like nothing else. Because you honestly want to do anything else but just sit there. ANYTHING else. and the most absurd things will pop into your head. Once I got the urge to bake a cake. Then I was deciding what kind of cake, and then if we had any cake materials in the house. Would I made the frosting? buy?

I've never made a cake in my life. I don't recall even making one from a box unassisted. Being here now is one of the best ways to retrain your mind and rewire your brain. At the very least reset it. It's also the gateway to my beloved Contemplation.

Once you are suitably more aware you will start to notice all those self sabotagey little bits that crap all over everything you want to really be doing. Be it Magic, Meditation, Painting, Writing, whatever. Once you find them, decide something that you can conveniently do instead. Instead of watching television I would mindfully look about the house for something to clean, or something practical do to maintenance wise. If there was nothing to do (ha! Homeownership: There is always something to do.) I would make a list of things I would like to do or accomplish and try to map out steps to get those things moving.

Draja Mickharic wrote in "Magic Simplified" that attention was a thing, a commodity. You give it, you take it, and you can piss it away like any other. Attention is the watchtower of your Sovereignty. If you are inattentive and unaware then the guards are asleep at their posts. Being unconscious and ruled by habit, is stealing something from you. Your time, effort, and life are being stolen.

Replace those things that sabotage you with things that aid you, and then replace habit all together with attention. Have I done this totally? An emphatic no. Do I get back up every time I get knocked down? You bet your ass.

Ms. Dirty and Tradition

2011-05-31T06:52:00.000-04:00

This post is inspired by the rockin' knowledge dropped by Ms. Dirty over here.

I have always been a little bit on the picky, obsessive compulsive side. It's either perfect to the minutiae, or alternately I am setting metephorical fires and not wearing pants. The no pants is litteral. Back in my one semester of University Philosophy I always wondered if Plato was THE shit, why did any of his students bother changing things up. If we had a Grande Olde System(e) that worked no matter what, why change?

Years of being a Traditionalist did not die easy, even in College. The quest for the One True Way is, in fact, a dead end. We don't want it to be. It would be simpler if it weren't. But let's face it, kids.. it is. What's more, it's immature. Worse than that, it's lazy.

Systems change, because they must. Much like the Gods. Everything changes. Things that are eternally True tend to be mythological, painted with a very broad brush. This is a good thing because it gives plenty of wiggle room for both individuality and innovation.

Being from a family of Tradespeople and Masons (ok, one uncle.. but it still counts), I dig the Apprentice, Journeyman, Master, model. Thing is, that once you've covered the basics, you're a journeyman, and you have to work your own groove till you Master your Craft. Whatever your Craft may be. Mastering your Craft means you've found YOUR voice, and your own personal expression through your own art.This cannot be faked. This can be emulated, copied, and otherwise ripped off, but that is honestly either homage or flat out being a poseur (The WORST insult of the 90's!).

Imitation of something you admire is awesome. But if you don't do the real work and make something of your own you will be nothing but an imitator. A bad copy. Worse, you give away YOUR voice, and YOUR contribution. You lose your wonder. That is a sad, sad thing.

I once knew someone codenamed D. D, was very adamant that he had nothing to offer. He was a copy cat. He engeneered his personality out of a patchwork of other people, but he did so out of a calculated need to be liked, approved of, and feel superior. I am a total fan of a tailor made personality, but inside his personality suit was hollow. He was trying to throw a patchwork quilt over a black hole. Before I ended our friendship, because he was not exactly a Stable Mable, once I saw through his bullshit, and stopped trying to raise his spirits and find his OWN art, he told me, "It's better to be a fake somebody, than a real nobody." A quote from "The Talented Mr. Ripley".

That, my friends, is bullshit. Lazy, slapdash, scared, weak, bullshit. It is pitiable. D, is doing better now I hear, but I refuse still to have contact with him in any form. He may have found his art, he may not have. I hope he has.

Attractive scaffolding around a hole in the ground serves no purpose, no matter how high you build it.

Oh, and don't try to steal Ms. Dirty's dress. We all know what a keen butcher she is. I'm just sayin'.

Did someone say Books?

2011-05-27T22:18:00.000-04:00

Alright my Occult themed nerd cabal, listen up!

I have a book recommendation for ya'll and I haven't even read it through yet. It's called, "The Forbidden Universe" by Lynn Picknett and Clive Prince. What it's about is summed up nicely in the subtitle: "The Occult Origins of Science and the Search for the Mind of God".

This is my jam!

I'll write a review as soon as I'm done, which might take a while. It's half history, and half contemporary findings of scientists who are saying things remarkably similar to what our Hermetic for bearers were saying about four hundred years ago.

Now that I've wet your appetite to a feeding frenzy for knowledge, I have an announcement. Our home is home to my lovely book friends. Many of whom are now seeking new homes. Mostly because they are numerous, and honestly not being put to good use just sitting here when they could be out amongst you being read. So I will be selling a majority of them, and keeping just the ones I use for my own personal refrence. Did I meantion that I was selling them cheap? Well I did now!

The Goal here is to have them be educational somewhere else, and me to free up shelf space. Perhaps for other books, perhaps just so I don't have to move them when we get our carpets redone. My personal goal is to list ten books a week at a low, low price, right here on "A Mage's Blog". You email me which ones you want, then give me my filthy lucre, and I will send them out that week.

You too can own a bit my my own personal library! Books that have been soaking in my gooey mind essence for years. Anything gooey other than my mind essence that you may find on them is most likely not mine, and direct any such concerns to the post office.

What I've been up to, and why I practice how I do.

2011-05-27T22:02:00.000-04:00

Golly, it's been a while, no?

I have been working like an animal lately, which is awesome! Honestly! I am uber glad that I have the ability to make as much money as I am physically able right now. Unfortunately, it leaves me crispy fried. I felt bad about this. Like a slacker. Like a slacker who is full of supermarket take out, and sitting in his boxers. Right now. Typing to you.

Ahem. Right.

Anyway, I was sad that I wasn't blogging, reading, or otherwise doing at my best, and most compotent level. Then I did the math. For the past.. I don't even know how many months I've been working the equivalent of almost sixty hours a week. Every week. That in itself made me smile. I WAS doing all I can! Huzzah!

Now that I've found that limit as to why I've been a bit lax, I can make efforts to push past it. I was bummed, I was constantly thinking of all that good shit I wasn't doing. Taking stock of what was up in my life helped me realize all the good shit I WAS doing.

My two main practices are what can be loosely grouped into "Energy Work" and "Meditation". I haven't done any ritual work in months, and it's made me feel a bit sad. Then I thought of all the times that I have worked meditation work, including Contemplation into my work day, into my commute, into my personal relationships. Serious. That meditation stuff gets EVERYWHERE.

The same with "Energy Work", especially in my practice it has a whole heap to do with spirit work as well. Also healing work. Also for self maintanence. Also to observe effects of meditation on internal energies. Also to observe the effects of internal energies on the mind, as well as digestion, attention, sleep, healing, etc.

Being as active as I currently am, I must use what I have. This, my beloved friends, is the beauty of a varied tool box. You might not always be able to get to the tool you'd rather be using, or the activity you'd rather be doing, but if you are present in the moment, you can use what you have. If you keep waiting on what you don't have to do something, you might never do anything.

There are many ways to skin a cat, but there is one Essence to it, one Arte to it. Learn the essence, and understand a thousand practices. Once you truly understand what you are trying to accomplish, you can at least make a valid attempt to do it with whatever is at hand.

As Frith said to El-ahrairah, "Be cunning and full of tricks, and your people will never be destroyed."

Puttering Around

2011-05-24T05:48:00.000-04:00

Hello All!

What have I been up to lately? So glad you asked! It appears like quite of few of my fellow travelers on the Magico-Interblag, I am in a frantic flapping and reevaluation stage of my life currently. One thing that has been helping, informing, and blessedly synchonistic has been Youtube.

My Youtube viewing has been pretty steady and one of the only ways I can sniff out some quality edutainment. One of my favorite bits of edutainment viewing is Thus:

The MindScape of Alan Moore. Great comic author. Magician. Theoretician. Interesting thoughts on Fame, Steam Engines, Magic, and Reality. Totally worth a watch.

If you take it apart, make sure it can go back together.

2011-04-27T06:55:00.001-04:00

In my tenure as a Practitioner, I've heard a lot of, "The best spells are those you come up with yourself". I generally agree with that once you mastered the basics of your particular path. I also have met few Practitioners who have actually waited till they have mastered the basics to do so. Thus, I pass along this bit of wisdom from my dear departed Dad:

"If you take it apart, make sure it can go back together."

Which is followed with: "If you don't know how it works, leave it alone!"

Crafting ritual is both an art and a science. Part psychology, part meditation, part energy work, part proper materials. When I was younger I was obsessed with breaking down techniques and finding out what made them work so well as opposed to others that did not so much. Diagnostics and trouble shooting.

You have to understand the basic internal logic of what is going on under the hood before we start tinkering and tweaking. A home brew rite will often times be very effective just because you are making it from the ground up, thus understand the basic logic. But if it is placed in the context of an established tradition, or combining traditions, you need to have a clear understanding of how it works on its own terms before you start fiddling!

That is a major hurdle to many folks approaching Hermeticism, honestly. One of the greatest criticisms other than it's stuffy, takes too long, and is "Eurocentric", is that it seems very cobbled together. There is Egyptian, Hebrew, Greek, Christian, Arabic, Sumerian, all thrown together in a pile. Honestly, when it is done poorly, it is exactly that. The philosophy behind Hermeticism is what makes sense of all the disparate seeming bits. It gives them logic and order. You don't have to believe in anything, but you do have to understand what it is you are trying to do in the context you are trying to navigate.

The necessity of grasping the internal structure of a practice is what has made me learn to love Chaos Magic. Chaos allows the practitioner to build a meta-system where the practitioner can reframe the internal logic of the system.That allows a practitioner to believe in something they wouldn't normally for the purpose of Magical effect.** Granted, it is no longer the thing you started with, but traditionally inspired Chaos (if we are being nit picky). Much like how we make French inspired food in our house, though we do not cook French food very strictly.

To carry on the cooking metaphor: You need to know your materials, spices, heating, utensils, flavor profiles, before making up a dish on your own within a particular style. I learned this the hard way trying some experiments with Indian food. Those spice ratios leave little wiggle room for the novice. What I ended up making was about as close to Indian food, as egg noodles and ketchup are close to Italian food. I took it apart, but it did not go back together well.

Many times we rush to have our Adept pants on too early, and miss the whole damn point of the Novitiate. Grasp the basics. Do your foundational practices, and once you understand how things work at a greater than intellectual level, then move on.

There is no shame in using someone else' technique. I am not ashamed I did not build my car from the ground up in a garage. I let the people at Honda do that for me. Also, there is no prestige in using someone else' technique. One of my coworkers drives a BMW, and I am glad for her being fortunate enough to do so, but she didn't build it. She enjoys the privilege of driving it, but the skill in crafting it belongs to the gearhead engineers at BMW.

Once you are savvy enough to really make your own contributions, once you are that Gearhead in the garage that made a whole new, innovative, never before seen, Technique in your tradition, then you are really an Adept. At least as far as the technical side of things goes. You understand every bit from the ground up. If you take it apart, you can with confidence put it back together.You are the Captain of your own ship.

Technically, what makes a master? Nicola Tesla.

**Going back to belief for a second, I agree totally that belief is active engagement. It is plugging in. It has nothing to do with dogmas. You believe (actively engage), you do, and then you Know. Once you've experienced how a thing works you can then even more actively engage with it, the stumbling block of dogmatic belief is no longer a problem.

The Giver and the Taker

2011-04-11T12:00:00.000-04:00

"I am the fulcrum! The giver, and the taker of life!" -Paul Atredies, Kwisatz Haderach

So it's been an exciting period of hiatus. By exciting I mean glutted with work and responsibility, dotted with some bits of fun. Despite being an almost stereotypical Saggitarian, I am a homebody. I am not sure why I never inherited my star signs wanderlust, but that is my weakest Saggitarian trait. I start to realize that I have been working myself too hard when I get the urge to just drive all night till I see morning and have some sort of adventure when I get there. (Incidentally, driving all night into morning gets you to the Carolinas if you go south, and well into New England, if you head north from here.)

Sometimes, the things you cast for.. you might not actually want or need. It's the closed system problem. To get, you have to give. The economy of sacrifice. Also, basic commerce.

This was my problem, recently. I cast, I hooked, and was reeling in a brandy new job; that was the give. The take was, basically all of my free time and mental processing power. Being on call all day, every day, and being the nexus of a shit storm coming from all the clients, all the employees, and the big bosses. Your basic upper middle management position. It was a price I was unwilling to pay. You are always giving, and always taking, so be mindful of what, where and when.

Something, somewhere, has to give. The big lesson that I learned from this circuitous rout was to always have your macro and micro enchanting in line. Macro enchant for the life that you want to be living. Micro enchant for the specific steps along the way. Otherwise you may find yourself a dog on a very short leash, all be it a nice one. If your Hermes collar is too tight, it is still an ill fit.

Time for better Macro enchanting, with a new focus on the Micro-world.

Cross out Jow's Laptop

2011-04-10T06:58:00.000-04:00

Apparently my laptop's hard drive has died for reals this time. We were able to force it to work for a good bit there, but it has finally breathed it's last. As such, I will be on when I can, post when I'm able, and most likely once a week will be the maximum. It's also the goal I am shooting for.

Luckily everything was backed up on the portable drive or somewhere online so no harm was done, except to my ability to fuck around on the internet.

The Floating World and Sacred Space

2011-04-05T11:12:00.000-04:00

Interblag! How I've missed you!

During my absence from you, dear readers, it's been a bit of an introspective period. Sorting out my own issues, refining my practice, etc. In my meanderings I came across the concept of "The Floating World". In addition to being a lovely, if very expensive, kink event, it is also a supremely useful concept magically.

Aside from all the fun your standard Japanese red light district can be, the main draw of the concept for me is that it is said that rank and standing were temporarily suspended while one was in the Floating World. You were all just people. What's more, you were allowed to be who you are. It was a space not just of debauchery and commerce, but a place of a strange kind of honesty. Normal rules of propriety were suspended and you were excused of having to live up to the role that society demanded of you.

We encounter it in the west often. In the Witches Sabbat, the Bacchanal, the Lodge, Fight Club, the Dungeon and Las Vegas.

Normally we are bound, circumscribed by the views and pressures of family, society, and employment. Each adding different kinds of conditioning to our psyche, each telling us who we should be. You are always being influenced. You are also always influencing others; chipping off bits and pieces of each other like rocks in a tumbler.

Within the Floating World you don't have to be anything, or anyone. You are free from the immediate influence of conditioning, and are given a place of stillness from which to act. The Floating World, The Lodge, the Coven, can all just be another tumbler, unless you use it as a chance for liberation. It's easy to fall into a new persona, a new set of rules.. but that defeats the point.

Finding that place of stillness, of openness, don't latch on to it. Simply relax into it, dwell in it. If you latch on, you start building another mask. In simple being you take them off and dwell in the eye of the hurricane, and all the masks finally have an opportunity to fall to the floor. And how heavy they are! How liberating to finally not have to be anyone, anything dictated from the outside. How liberating to finally find your Sovereignty!

From there you can toss them, pick them up, or redecorate at your leisure. They might have been built by someone else, but they are useful, and they are yours now.

Now, that is all well and good, but we are here to talk Magic, no? How could this pseudo-psychobabble help someone "on the mat", as they say?

For one, it adds a wordless understanding of the subtle processes of Sorcery. You start to know how things fit, and the invisible world becomes much clearer. We'll say it matures innate ability, and gives insight into technique.

Secondly, when dealing with tricksey spirits, it grants you an uncommon self awareness, and an uncommon ability to see through bullshit. You've seen through your own bullshit, after all. If you can see through the lies and conditioning that both you, and the whole world have been showing you since the you were pre-verbal, then the bullshit of one other being is hardly challenging. You are much harder to trick, bait, lure, confuse, ensnare, stupefy, or tempt, be it by spirit, man, or mass media.

Third and most importantly, it gives you Authority. Authority comes from Gnosis. Knowing your Self causes Gnosis to spontaneously emerge.

From the Floating World, you can bring that Awareness into daily life, and cultivate it there. As Hakim Bey put in Temporary Autonomous Zone, it is a supremely subversive act. Especially in modern western society where you are never really off the clock. You never have time to really drop your masks, and be. The expectation is you will rise to whatever needs you are told, because you are needed and that is your job. Which often gets confused with who you are.

You can never really tame a tiger, you can cage them, pamper them, abuse them, restrict them, but they are always tigers, even if raised in captivity. A tiger handler comes to a mutual agreement with their feline counterparts where the tiger will not eat the "trainer", and instead the tiger performs some tricks, and gets a cheap meal, as they are denied many other options. Every few years in America, some dolt wants to play in a tiger cage and gets eaten. The tiger is not tame. C'est la vie.

Bringing that Awareness into daily life, you realize that you've just been acting, all this time, just like tiger convinced it's a purse dog. And all this time you have had the freedom to do whatever you want in any situation. Sometimes that causes huge life changes, or jail sentences, or death. Sometimes it's just cut wood, carry water, until the next meeting, with no need to change anything.

I remember a time when my dad was dying, he was going over these mountains of hospital bills for tens of thousands of dollars, and one day he just started to laugh quietly to himself. As a decent son, I went over to see if Dad was ok, as he does not normally laugh, alone, at the kitchen table. I asked if everything was alright, and this was his reply in paraphrase:

"You know, it's funny. All these bills, and I could just go down to the office and shoot every last person in there. Do you know what they would do if I did that? Put me in jail for life, and treat me for free. " Then I think I might have made him a grilled cheese.. I can't quite remember.

want to. He chose not to. And strangely enough, that is the root of compassion, the root of Love. Choice. You choose to do the compassionate, kind, Loving, thing. It may flow out of you, it may be your first and most natural choice, but it is still a choice, because you have other options. You simply see no merit in the violent, the cruel, and the wicked.

Time to mount up on your broomstick! Knock the secret knock; twist the secret handshake! Attend the Sabbat, pay your entrance to the Floating World and find yourself!

In waking, dreaming, and deep sleep, you are always present. You are always Aware. You are Sovereign! Wherever you set your feet is your pure land.

Japan.

2011-03-11T11:09:00.002-05:00

Apparently, at around 5:30 GMT a huge earthquake hit Japan, which then triggered a tsunami that also hit Japan, with tsunami warnings through out the pacific coastal region. The damage is awful. Hundreds of bodies have been found, and hundreds more are missing, including a whole passenger ship and train. Please, sometime today say a prayer, light a candle, or otherwise do something to help both the living and the dead of this disaster.

Also, if you can spare any money to donate, that would also be a very positive physical gesture you can do.

If you needed a more on topic reason to donate aside from a horrible tragedy, let me remind the blog-o-sphere that Japan is home to Shinto, a religious practice so old it is damn near primordial, as well as being a strong hold for Tantric Buddhism by way of China for hundreds of years. It is a country and culture that still pays homage to The Mysteries in a way that is totally natural and interwoven with every day experience.

So yeah, if you can spare a minute of time, or a dollar, please help when you can.

Radio Silence

2011-03-11T09:39:00.004-05:00

Just popping in to let everyone know I am still here. The extended radio silence has been due to lots of work (Thanks! Ye Gods!), and most recently a rather severe bout of illness that started the day I talked via email with a friend who was also rather ill. (No causal link, just a funny coincidence)

In my brief time away when not fighting off fever I started to dig in to a translation of Robert Ambelain's "Spiritual Alchemy", which is so far so good. I'll have a review up once my post fever addled brain can finish reading.

I have to admit, at the height of my illness I was a bit scared. It was a bum's rush of an ailment, and hit me hard. Went to bed feeling a general malaise, and woke with a full on migraine, no balance, and difficulty breathing. Any time your body betrays you, I think, there is fear. Especially if you are used to being able bodied. It's the number one annoyance of the elderly, that mentally they are little different than when they were twenty five, but physically they are just unable to do what they did. It's sobering. Even in small doses.

So that's where I am right now: on the mend and turning my mind towards Life as it is, and the strange ways it moves.

Man, where did we get all the energy?

2011-03-05T07:06:00.004-05:00

Oh, puns. How I love you.

Apparently the energy debate is still going strong, especially between Patrick and Jason at their respective blogs.

I have always thought of different schools of Magic a lot like different languages, each with it's own context, history, slang, drift, etc. And each having a very workable structure within the context of their own language. Cobbling together a few phrases from a book can be effective, but it is much different than being formally educated in the language, or being raised in it. So too with tradition.

It seems that the discussion is trying to focus on "What is really going on here". That is a blind alley. We cannot get there through definition. Seeking to define "Magical Energy" outside of its own context will most likely fail, because in other contexts that term is empty. We can trace the history of the idea, the etymology of the terms, how it flows through culture, merits, flaws, nuance, and all of that will get us one step closer, though never actually there.

Definition is different than experience. I know Jason has experienced what he calls Magical Energy, as have I, which is why I defend the theory, and if I hadn't, I'd have no business defending it.

The only way you will really know a thing is through participation in it. For anyone shooting down or bolstering whatever theory, that is all I ask. Engage in that thing on its own terms, so long as it is safe to do so. Arguing against the existence of Philadelphia is most easily solved by asking someone how to get there, and seeing for yourself if it is there or not.

I am by no means saying that Patrick has not done his own work. No, no, no. Sometimes, though you have to start all over to understand something from the ground up. That empty cup thing they talk about in Zen.

This is hard.. lets give up.

2011-02-24T08:55:00.009-05:00

I've been having a little back and forth with a commenter on my Valentine's Day Post. My first thought was, "Am I getting trolled? Awesome! I must be doing something right!"

Basically said poster, we'll call them Opaque, said that most of my advice was silly, it generally wouldn't work, pick up artist techniques won't work unless you are a natural, and of course the only way to get love if you are not a natural is Magic, with takes a lot of effort.

Firstly, as I stated in my replies, my advice has been giving because I have found it to either personally work for me, or know people who have used it very effectively. Direct correlation between action and results. You do not have to be a natural (God, what does that even MEAN?!) to get it to work. You just have to do the work. Will it get you everything you've ever wanted? No. Nothing will. But it will leave you in a better position to get what you want.

But trying something new is much better than trying the same shit that hasn't worked for years. You must adapt to the flow of the situation. What is the worst that can happen? You find out that those things don't work for you? Even then you are ahead of the game because you've learned something new! The alternative would be doing the same shit you already know doesn't work for you, and learn nothing.

Now, two Magical myths to cast dispel illusion upon.

1. Magic is hard. Fuck no! Magic is EASY! people do it every day. Magic is hard to master, just like carpentry, physics, Tai Chi, and anything else that you really want to plumb the depth of. My most effective love spell was done when I was sixteen, still nominally Roman Catholic and desperate for one specific girl to love me. I focused all my yearning, my desperation, my desire, and carved the planetary seal of Venus over my heart with a box cutter, just enough to bleed, and coupled that with prayer and the recitation of divine names. I did it all at work in a locked stock room. I do not recommend it. It did not turn out well. Do not try this at home. Monkey's paw scenario. Do not do this thing. I am also surprised I did not get tetanus from my lack of safety precautions.

People do Magic all the time. Casting the evil eye, praying for blessings, working with spirits, burying statues, making offerings, consulting oracles. All. The. Time. Magic is a part of human culture. Even humans who think it is silly will usually try it once or twice in their lives, sometimes as a lark, sometimes with hope that it may be real.

Magic is easy. Adepthood and Mastery are hard to achieve. Applying Magic strategically into your life takes work, but the act itself is as natural as any other action.

Myth 2: "Magic is the only way to get X". I have never found that to be the case. Ever. That myth is the natural outgrowth of poor planning. That is desperation Magic, and as Jason often points out, that is shitty Magic. Having a pile of things that work, Magic being one of them will not help you towards your goal unless you know what to do with them. Unless you can apply them to a purpose. A pile of lumber and supplies do not a house make. A proper architect has to have them made into a home, linked to gas, water, and power lines. No matter how many resources you have, if you do not have a proper plan, you will not get far.

Being a natural at anything does not guarantee success. There are plenty of people in the world born beautiful, or into privilege, that either coast quietly or self destruct. Because they don't have a proper plan. There are pleanty who plan for the heights of success, and achieve it, and then crash and burn because they don't know what to do when they get there!

It is also an outgrowth of myth number one, above, that Magic is hard, and thus separate from every other field of human endeavor. Magic is no more special than baking, or being a network analyst. If I do not care for my appearance, do not bathe, am consistently rude and off putting, and rarely make an effort to conduct myself in public, it does not matter how many sigils I consecrate, how many spirits I evoke, how many energies I channel, because even if I get the partner of my dreams, if all that is holding them there is spellwork, it is no different than a psychic lobotomy. If you do not till the soil and do ALL the work necessary to make changes in your life to get the things you want, even if you get them, you'll not be able to hold on to them. If you can hold them it will be with a maximum effort, as those changes will be incompatible with your old life.

New wine must go into new bottles after all.

I've talked a few times about Special Snowflake Syndrome, where the practitioner views themselves as unbelievably special, talented, chosen to change the world! Every emergency is a psychic attack and every inconvenience a plot from the Gods or the Legions of Hell to thwart their holy mission! The other side of Special Snowflake Syndrome is"Sad Sack Syndrome".

Sad Sack Syndrome is not the same as legitimate depression. Being a Sad Sack is merely focusing on the negative of everything. Focus on all the things you don't have, can't do, and don't like. Focus on every weakness, and all the unfortunate things in life. Vocabulary is couched in negatives, and things wrong are found with every experience, relationship, and interaction. In the geek boy scene, it is also occasionally used as a pick up technique. No really. I'm serious.

All problems, and woes are trotted out to the prospective geekpartner. Looking slovenly and hunched over, hopefully someone will pity the poor soul, and maybe give them a sympathy hook up, or even just a kiss. It's being a beggar. It's being so pathetic that "someone will give you a break." It is the opposite of what compotent people do. Instead of starting and highlighting your strengths you build upon weaknesses, depending on others to buffer you up. I've seen it used to try to date, try to get a promotion, and try to otherwise get ahead. It is a terrible plan. It is also insanely childish. Sad Sack Syndrome branches from that impulse that every child has when they realize that when they cry, or are sick someone will pity them and give them what they want. Some people never grow out of it. Those folks are unfortunately no self respect and no respect for the times and boundaries of others. A cunning ploy of the l'enfant terrible within.

As someone who suffered from Sad Sack Syndrome in his early twenties, all I have to say is: Grow up! Stop focusing on all the shit you don't like and make some effort to change it. If you are in a situation you do not like, and you do nothing to change it, then obviously you want to be there, and thus getting what you deserve.

Lastly, just because something does not work for you, does not mean that it doesn't work. It only means it doesn't work for you, yet.

Book Review Wednesday(A Day Early!): The Weiser Concise Guide to Alchemy

2011-02-22T21:19:00.005-05:00

Title: The Weiser Concise Guide to Alchemy

Author: Brian Cotnoir

Content: 127 pages including notes, index, and bibliography

In the preface the author says he wanted to make a book that he wished was out when he started his journey into Alchemy. He succeeded.

This is a relatively tiny book that does the job that many many other larger books before it could not do: give a concise, easy to understand, intro to the theory and practice of Alchemy. When I say tiny, I mean it. I read the majority of it in a day. Granted that was just the quick read through, and this book is one that honestly deserves some study.

The theory is both thorough and clear, and some of the best explanations of Alchemical principles I've ever read. It also gives great practical advice on reading traditional Alchemical texts, and stresses the contextual meanings of words in them.

The practical portion is the very beginning of the work, starting with plants, water, vinegar, and alcohol. There is a brief discussion of the mineral work, but it is strongly stressed that before one attempts the mineral work they spend many, many YEARS of practice on the plant work.

A book so good it is inspirational! And that made me sad. Why you ask? One: No index. Two: We are presented with Albertus Magnus' eight requirements for the Work.

I do not meet the first requirement, Silence, as I am a blogger, so.. boned there.

I do not meet the second requirement of "having a place removed from the eyes of men", as I live in a condo with no basement, shed, garage, or other private laboratory.

And I do not meet the eighth requirement of funding, by having enough funds to complete the work.

Now, the venerable Master Albertus is quite right to point that last one out. If you do not have enough resources to pursue the work, perhaps one should look elsewhere. Alchemy is known as "The Princes Art", "The Royal Art", and "The Rich Man's Art". Starting slowly is one thing, but when it comes to having a lab well equipped enough, enough funds and connections to procure raw ore, and enough free time to attend to the processes, it is better to not start and spend your effort elsewhere then to start and not finish and waste both time and resources. It was.. sobering to say the least. Sobering and saddening, to be honest.

For those at all interested in lab alchemy in the Hermetic Tradition this book is a must. In fact I highly recommend it be the first book you read on the subject. I would likewise recommend it to any Hermeticist who wants a broader view of how Alchemy fits into a tradition that in modern practice seems to be very focused on Theurgy and Astrology. It's also a good general interest book for some light occult reading. It flows well and is very informative. Highly Recommended.

Awww maaaan..

2011-02-17T09:15:00.002-05:00

Ali apparently said basically the same thing as me.. only earlier, and without refrence to selective breeding. I don't think he cussed as much either. Check it out, here! Well done, Sir!

Walk away for a day..

2011-02-17T07:35:00.005-05:00

Holy crap! I walk away for a day and here we are in the midst of a rather heated discussion that has turned partly into a discussion about cultural appropriation in Magic. While it's neat to see everyone whipping out and throwing it on the table, it took me a while to catch up, and even so I am not fully caught up on the comments in every one's posts.

My objection to some of the reasoning here is that it is almost impossible to say who REALLY has the rights to these traditions. Things get leaked, things get traded, things get blended, and that is natural. No tradition or culture exists in a vacuum. Hell, even anthropologists have observed that by observing a culture, you change that culture. Likewise, no magical tradition exists in a vacuum. There will be natural drift, natural blending.

Example: Kun Lun sect Taoist sorcerers. The Kun Lun evolved in northern China which had a much bigger Buddhist presence, so you will see traditional Buddhist Mudras, Bodhisattvas, Mantras, etc. in their practices, though they are still a sect of Taoist sorcery. They even refer to themselves as "Masters of Law (referencing the Dharma)" instead of Masters of Rites like other sects. Do the Kun Lun have no business with appropriating Buddhist Tech? Are they unTaoist? Do they have a right to that material?

That is what appropriation comes down to. Do you have the right to do this thing? Especially to do this thing and call it by it's name in it's own culture. Are you using that thing as it was intended. Sometimes yes, and sometimes no. But Magico-Cultural bleed happens, both slowly and quickly.

Any time culture reaches some high point, and there is a lot of people, information, and ideas being batted around it will be a time for blending, change, misunderstanding, revelation, innovation, and yes, appropriation. Please see Gordon's examples on Al Andalus, and Rome for further clarification.

Appropriation comes down to the entitled rights over a thing. Since we all live in the same world, not a Sufi world here, Hermetic there, Traditional African here, African Diaspora there, but one world, the basic techniques of Magic are universal. The same as scientific laws. They don't belong to any one culture or practice individually. They don't even belong to humanity, specifically in my opinion.

That said, you CAN copyright (for lack of a better term)a specific process, formula, or line of initiation. I can do non dual meditation all my life. I can use it to reach perfect enlightenment. But it will never be Dzogchen, because I was never taught Dzogchen, and do not have the empowerments or lineage of Dzogchen. Since my family might have witchblood, but no tradition I will not be a fam trad Witch, unless I am basically adopted into a family that practices such. And some would never do that, if you don't have their blood, you don't get their goods. Fin.

That in mind, someone will always copy you, steal from you, leak your secrets, or teach them to outsiders who may or may not have a real inkling of what they are doing. That is going to happen. That is also a key way traditions change and survive over time.

Magic itself can be thought of as a pool of knowledge, of Technique and Technology that gets results. A particular tradition is better thought of in terms of horticulture or husbandry. Keeping defects to a minimum, keeping the lines strong, etc. Over a long enough time you must determine what to keep, what to toss, and what to tweak. As guardian of a tradition, it is not easy to make those choices. One must be able to see a bit into where the world is going, so that they Tradition can be viable and relevant, while still accomplishing what it means to accomplish.

If Hermeticism never changed from first century synchrenic Paganism, it would have been lost. But it became Jewish, Christian, Gnostic, Sufi, Romantic, Philosophical, Rosicrucian, and on and on, and it is still changing till today. The world changes, and our Traditions must change with it, or be lost sooner than later.

It is an awesome thing to keep the "breed" of your tradition pure and strong, but carried to its logical conclusion it becomes isolationist. Bastards, Mutants, and Half Breeds are how we evolve. They break up stagnation. Think of high cultural periods as a giant magical swingers party. Everyone is intoxicated, and things are getting real naked real fast. At the end, people go to their own houses, but all will be changed forever by the interaction.

It's Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T10:22:00.004-05:00

I am not sure how big Valentine's Day is outside of the States, though I did hear that a while ago some fundamentalist/nationalist groups in India were shaving young couples heads for celebrating the day. It was deemed too western.

Anyway. In my part of the world Valentines day tends to be met with a wide mix of emotions from joy to panic to disgust. When I wish someone a "Happy Valentine's Day" it's usually met with a "Thanks," and then discussion of plans, or a "Oh GOD! Don't remind me!" Usually from someone who has been alone for a while. I can understand that reaction from someone who has had their partner recently die, or leave them, but for those who have been out of the dating pool for a while and wish to find that special someone, today is not a societal reminder that you are an unlovable slag who will die alone. Today is a motherfucking opportunity to change that.

You have the collective mind of basically the western world turned towards matters of Love, Sex, and Beauty, and you are not going to use this to change your situation? Think like a Mage!

Start working on bettering your appearance, wardrobe, beauty regime'.
Learn how to flirt.
Make a list of easy aphrodisiacs you can add to your food; you are what you eat!
Make an offering to Venus, or St. Valentine.
Work on what Jason and Pick Up Artists, call your "Inner Game"
Get out of your house and start showing up!
Pick up some new sexy smelling condition/perfume oils. I recommend Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab and Alchemy Works.
Really consider what you REALISTICALLY WANT IN A PARTNER!

Now that I have given you some suggestions, let me give you some homework: Practice Loving. I'm serious. It doesn't have to be overly sexy or romantic, but simply putting yourself out there and genuinely caring about others in a Loving way will bring that to you. In this case like attracts like.

Second homework: With consent, kiss someone today.

Now get to work!

Book Review Wednesday: "Mystical Origins of the Tarot"

2011-02-09T18:43:00.009-05:00

Title: "Mystical Origins of the Tarot"

Author: Paul Huson

Publisher: Destiny Books 2004

Content: 335 pages of content including appendix and index.

Once upon a time I read "Mastering Witchcraft" by the self same Paul Huson, and I fell in love. The style, the feel, the pacing, the content, ah love.. It wasn't just a great book on witchcraft that had immediately practical applications, it was well written! It was well arranged! It was wonderfully indexed! As an occult nerd and a book nerd, it was pure joygasm. It made me intoxicated with both the subject matter, and the author, so I went out and got myself a copy of his "Dame Fortune's Wheel Tarot", and "Mystical Origins of the Tarot".

I expected Mystical Origins to be a lot like the "Book of Thoth", or "Understanding Aleister Crowley's Thoth Tarot", is to the Crowley/Thoth deck. It totally wasn't. This book is not deck specific. It is not an extra extended little white book, though Mr. Huson does in fact have an extra extended little white book for free download on his website. This book as about The Tarot. (note the capitals)

It starts out with a decent sized history lesson stretching through the intro to the third chapter. It manages to be detailed and brief for the subject matter covered, if a little dry. Though if Tarot was one of my real focuses as a magician I am sure I would have had my face buried deep into the pages, licking the spine through the front. As I am not, I did find it a bit dry, and with less of the author's usual awesome pacing. But.. honestly, it's history. If you dig the period or culture history can be exciting, but if you aren't really into history can be interesting, but eventually it mashes into a mass of names and dates.

One really cool thing that I learned from the history lesson was that all of the Kabbalistic associations to the cards were not interpreted until rather late in the game. The origins of the cards have the suits as representing the four cardinal virtues, the court cards based on the nine worthies complete with queens representing their suits virtue, and the trumps based on medieval mystery plays. Kabbalistic additions were added later and cemented into place by the works of Papus, and of course the Rider-Waite Deck, and all of its many, many children.

Next follows a very detailed analysis of the cards, Pip, Court, and Trump, along with all of the many and some times contradictory and confusing meanings attributed to them, along with a rather well researched background for each. The Magician was once the lowly Montebank, street corner Juggler, and the Fool equally Holy Fool, and Madman Delinquent. For readers just starting out all the varied interpretations of a single card may be a bit much, but it helps you get a feel of the thing. When I say detailed, I mean it, the to chapters on the cards themselves take up over a third of the book. Weirdly, this I would study not in conjunction with a reading. More like a start to a meditation to get to know the cards better. There is almost too much information to go off of, and if looked at during a reading I would worry that I might lose the feel of Lady Fortune's hem.

In Divination work feel is almost half the battle. Meanings change by context, as the pattern unfolds before the Diviners eyes inspiring leaps of intuition, that may be helped with a few good questions, and maybe some cold reading. Even the best Diviner will sound vague if the stage is not set. (Incidentally, I've found those looking for readings for entertainment give very few details, and many times purposefully incorrect ones, while people looking for actual help tend to give an over abundance of details, but ymmv, dear reader.)

The last section is on the act of reading, giving spreads both simple and complex, as well as how to get to know your cards better to become a better reader.

As usual Mr. Huson gives lots of follow up resources on where to get cards, where to see the originals of famous decks, even more history, follow up reading, a bibliography, and of course the precious index. (Those of you who do not know why I am so fixated on the index, I doubt have tried to find a passage in a lengthy book without either an index or a book mark in that specific page. )

All in all if you are interested in Tarot history and development, or want to read Tarot seriously as either your primary oracle or as a professional Diviner, I would say it is worth a purchase. I wouldn't recommend the library for this one, as it has too much good reference in it for a once off read. It's not so much a book for a casual read, but even a casual read, I think, will have how you think of the cards shifting a little bit.

Recent Delays

2011-02-05T20:06:00.003-05:00

Once again I would like to apologise for the recent delays in content. My work schedule has been more massive than previous (Hooray for successful prosperity magic!), but that means that normal household things, daily practice, and sweet sleep still need to get done. So, I ask for your patience and I will keep updating as best I am able.

Multi Grazzi!
J.

Book Review Wed - Delay

2011-02-03T06:04:00.002-05:00

My Darlings,

Please excuse my lack of book review Wednesday this week. I am wrestling with a fun HR project at work, and spent my yesterday trying to construct a spinning wheel, only to come to the conclusion that some of the metal parts were machined incorrectly. It is my hope to have a book review Friday this week, and resume our regularly scheduled Wednesday dates next week.

I hope this last long streatch of winter is raining gumdrops for all of you!

Arisia Lecture Errata #1: Fixed Mercury

2011-02-01T19:23:00.007-05:00

Question: "Is that (parad) what they meant by fixed mercury?"

Original Answer: "Yes! You asked me a question about fixed mercury, I love you!"

Actual Answer with a working brain: Yes and no. Parad is the most literal form of fixed mercury as it is in fact metallic mercury in solid, purified, medicinal form. But the language of Alchemy is especially subtle in the West, and fixed mercury can mean a few things depending on weather we are talking of internal work or external lab work.

Energetically, in the Internal Work, Volatile Mercury is free life energy that hasn't been assimilated into a living form. It's said to be most concentrated in rainwater before it touches the earth, and mist/morning dew. Alchemists would funnel rain water off of tile roof tops, and hang out large sheets over fields to collect rain water and dew. The theory is that the sheets and tile are near energetically inert, and once they are saturated they can't collect any more life essence and thus the remaining dew/water is still full of primordial volatile mercury. Once the water touches rocks, soil, plants, people, animals, etc, it becomes fixed in that thing.

In Eastern Alchemical practice the Alchemist would rise early in the morning to breathe in the morning mist and assimilated life force directly that way since the morning mist has an enormous amount of life force within it, and through concentration it is quickly assimilated. Within animals mercury can be built up and volatilized in the saliva, sexual fluids, and blood, though it still is flavored to the animal/human kingdom. There are Indian and Taoist techniques that have made their way to the West where a skilled practitioner can give amazing fellatio, and consume the vital essence of their partner through swallowing ejaculate. It is also possible for this to be accomplished through cunnilingus if the practitioner can make their female partner ejaculate sufficiently.

In the Outer Work, Mercury is fixed in the natural alcohol of plants, as well as a type of "Metallic/Mineral Mercury" in metals and minerals. It is volatilized through combustion or maceration, etc, and then refixed in the final Alchemical product, and combined with either the Sulphur, Salt, or Sulphur and Salt of the materia.

In short, Fixed Mercury is the life essence of a kingdom (animal, vegetable, or mineral) bound to a specific thing within that kingdom by it's carrier agent, be it dew, semen, alcohol, etc.

Book Review Wed: Green Hermeticism

2011-01-26T20:20:00.004-05:00

Title: "Green Hermeticism: Alchemy and Ecology"
Authors: Peter Lamborn Wilson, Christopher Bamford, Kevin Townley, with intro by Pir Zia Inyat-Khan
Publisher: Lindisfarne Books, Great Barrington, MA 2007
Content: 206 pages including index, bibliography, notes, and appendix

I am going to start strong here for my review: If you are interested in Hermeticism in a modern context at ALL, you would be well served by reading this book. There. Now that I got that out of my system, on with the review!

Green Hermeticism is the most interesting modern Hermetic work I have read for quite some time. It approaches Hermeticism through it's Alchemical vehicle with a special emphasis modern practice, especially where the Alchemical world view impacts the modern ecological movement.

The book itself is a series five lengthy articles, two each by P.L. Wilson (aka Hakim Bey) and Chris Bamford, with one at the end on creating Spagyric tinctures by Kevin Townley.

We'll start at the end with Mr. Townley. His article is concise, accurate, and well spoken. It's a very good intro on the subject, and I think the best you can get in so short an amount of space. The space part is the only thing that bothers me. Spagyrics is a complex subject, and could have been taken in more depth, but he was very true to the title, "The Manufacture and Use of Planetary Tinctures". I am glad it was included, as it was the most immediately practical of any article in the book. Though it lacks the flavor of the other four, it ties them together into something you can do in a pop up home lab.

Now that we have the tail, we go back to the head with the first article: "The Disciples at Sais, A Theory of Sacred Earth". Written by the masterful Peter Lamborn Wilson, it launches into Alchemy as a Romantic Science, winding its way around the concept of the Romantic movement, and the foil it presented to Industrialism and the "Science of Death", as opposed to Alchemy, the "Science of Life". Presented through he lens of the Alchemist/Philosopher Novalis, it is one of the most moving pieces of Alchemical literature I've ever read. It fills the eyes full of stars and the heart full of hope.

In "One the All", Chris Bamford discusses Monism in Hermetics down from the highest Mind to the most manifest Matter. It's well written, understandable, and is more demonstrative.. it shows, it doesn't tell.

Next, in "Green Hermeticism" P.L. Wilson leads a very long, very meandering trail through the history of Hermeticism, into mycology, into Sufism and Iconoclasm, and on, and on. It's very twisty. So twisty it's hard to pin down, but that tends to be Wilson's style, especially when delving into Sufi topics. He is very much the wise/mad Dervish, and it shows in this piece.

Penultimately, Bamford hits us again with "Quilting Green Hermeticism", which is another long, winding piece (though not quite as winding as Wilson's) on Hermetic Philosophy. The path is long with many twists, and much like in the "Green Hermetism" article you manage to get the point very clearly without really being directly told.

That is a commonality with most of the works in the book. The picture is sketched around the edges instead of explicitly brushed.

If you dig Ecology and Spirituality at the same time, give it a read. It's quite refreshing, really.

Strategic Sorcery II: The Return

2011-01-22T20:44:00.003-05:00

An unfortunate technical snafu has happened over at Jason Miller's blog, Strategic Sorcery. Since his blog was randomly eaten by the internet, he wanted some of us folks to pass along a message to everyone.

Dear Readers of Strategic Sorcery,

As most of you know, Strategic Sorcery mysteriously disappeared on the evening of Wednesday, January 19th. The blog was not locked or cancelled by blogger intentionally, nor does it appear to be a deliberate hack. It is a glitch that is effecting about 50 other blogs.

Strategic Sorcery will now be hosted at my own website. The new address is http://www.inominandum.com/blog/

Please take a moment and update your links and follow me at the new site.

A big thanks go out to the owner of this blog for helping me get the message out. Thank you readers who have written in concerned about the situation. I am awed and gladdened by your support.

Thank you,
Jason Miller (Inominandum)

Book Review Wednesday: The Sun at Midnight

2011-01-19T21:06:00.006-05:00

Title: The Sun at Midnight
Author: Laurence Galian
Content: Over 700 pages of Sufi Goodness!

"The Sun at Midnight" is by far my favorite Sufi book. Keep in mind, it is not really a book about Sufism. It is a Sufi Book. If a book could be a Dervish, you can bet your tasbih that this one would be whirling and wandering.

There are equal parts Sufi history (from what seems a Shiite perspective), Sufi practices at the end of every chapter, and Sufi philosophy. The history gets a bit much at times for me, but it is always engaging and passionate. Which says a lot for history.

The seeds of Sufi thought were planted in America at the turn of the last century. The Sun at Midnight is one of the most lovely flowers of that plant to grow on this soil. Not overtly magical, it is highly mystical and gives exercises at the end of just about every chapter. We have Theory, History, and Practice which form a decent enough tripod, but even better than a tripod is a throne. To get that you need a communication of essence.

There is a running narrative piece through the whole book in little storylets about a man severely down on his luck who gets visited by Al Khidir and taken on a strange and very trippy adventure. They even go to Starwood! This is the final part, this is an example of the essence of Sufism. This turns the tripod into a throne.

Many books can teach you about Sufism. This is the only book that I have ever read to give you a real experience of Sufism. It's a subtle experience. It's the smell of roses that leads you to the garden.

Lizard Riding and Mortifications

2011-01-19T06:08:00.004-05:00

I've said in the past that I am not so good at pennance and mortifications of the flesh. That is not entirely true. I am, in fact, VERY good at them. It was the whole absolute celabacy thing that I wasn't good at. However, the whole hair shirt, pennance whip, not eating thing I was actually talented at. It wasn't the acts themselves that ever were difficult to accomplish; it was the hiding them from prying eyes and modern minds that wouldn't quite understand them. It's why I dug Opus Dei so much when I was active in the Church. They gave more traditional austerities an acceptable cultural context, at least locally.

After my less than successful talk at Arisia (most of the audience liked it, but the fact that some didn't, and I KNOW I could have done MUCH better is the pea beneath my bed, here.) I've come to re-realize the power of austerity.

Taking a tip from Linchpin: The Lizard Brain loves comfort. The Lizard Brain is the most hard wired and has the most override authority in your daily life. The Lizard Brain is a pain in the ass when you are trying to do something new and scary. Honestly, because you are hard wired to NOT do things that are new and scary. New and scary can get you killed. The Lizard is there to see that you survive.

Now, the Lizard governs fight/flight response. Being economical it only makes you fight or fly as hard as it takes for you to be safe again. Now, if you want to do anything big or new, it WILL fight you, or try to make you GTFO. A simple removal of drive is all it takes for that brand new plan to become something that you will get to.. eventually.

It's fairly easy to get the lizard to duck it's head and run. Just look at it. Animals do not like being looked at. The Lizard is our most animal self. If you just sit back and realize: "This is a Lizard Brain defense mechanism," it usually will shed it's tail and let you get on with your day. Because running for now is easier than fighting. That's good for a short burst, but for sustained long term activity you need to learn to ride it.

What is the key there? Discomfort. The Lizard is privy to all your plans on a level that you are not aware of, so you can't trick it for long. But if you wedge sand under it's scales you can direct the force of biological survival towards fighting FOR you instead of AGAINST you. Austerity, especially prolonged Austerity can rile up your Lizard Brain mechanisms, and get you that lean and hungry look you will need to get shit done. For those of us most stubborn, sometimes that is the last, best option.

Now there are problems here, like the first response will be to just stop doing that painful thing. After that you'll gain clarity and acceptance. Sometimes too much. Another problem is that you will need to keep uping the ante here, because a human being can normalize just about anything into a new form of comfort. Once it's obvious that this thing will not kill us, it just because another shady rock or patch of sun, so you have to periodically mix it up.

I am not just talking about physical acts, but mental ones too. The Magic of Regret, a long lost Love, a mission of self redemption can all be more than adequate to get you moving in the right direction for a very long time. And unlike physical austerity the mental kind can stay fresher, longer.

The trick is to not trip down the downward spiral. You are going to need to take a step back sometimes and reevaluate, "Is this a spur or will this kill me?" If you start to even slightly endanger yourself for real instead of riding out biology you need to STOP IMMEDIATELY, and work on being kinder to yourself. This is not an adversarial battle. You are not at war with the flesh and the world. You want to use the mechanisms of the flesh, the mind, and the world to achieve your goals. Do not let your end game get threatened by anything, even the means you use to get there.

Also, many of you out there might not need to do all this. It might, in fact, be harmful to you. If that is the case, DO NOT ENGAGE! Your safety is paramount here. Especially in the case of physical Austerity, or even mental if you have issues such as Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, etc. I repeat: DO NOT ENGAGE! Any and all such practice would ideally be supervised by a medical doctor, a councillor, and a spiritual director.

In my own personal Austerity practice I am going to be writing up errata on my lecture in the days to come, correcting everything I misspoke, flubbed, or other wise botched.

Aaaaand Back from Arisia

2011-01-17T20:37:00.004-05:00

It was a real blast working on the Steampunk track at Arisia. On Saturday I was on the Sacred Sexuality panel, which went really well with a lot of audience participation. The moderator, Mistress Simone was incredibly nice, and really held the panel together. I, however have realized that I have an unfortunate habit in public speaking. That habit is nervous profanity. I try to be comfortable.. and it sort of just slips out. On the sacred sexuality panel it wasn't so bad..

The Alchemy lecture went less than well, however. I never talked about esoterica with people who had serious hard science backgrounds before. I panicked. I'll admit it. Could it get worse, you ask? Oh yes. It can. I open my binder to take out my lecture notes and low and behold.. nothing. Not. There.

Now keep in mind that I put them in there RIGHT BEFORE I left the room. That panic that I was talking about it before, multiply it. And to top it off, it was a full room. I would say aside from the note less rambling, and the nervous profanity it was.. okay. However, I did make mention that "The alchemical tradition was carried forward from the eighteenth and the nineteenth centuries by groups like the masons, and stranger occult fringe groups like the Martinists."

Apparently there were actual Martinists in the audience. Please do understand dear readers that I said "strange" because that was the time that Alchemy was less and less considered legitimate science, and was pushed into things that would seem strange to modern materialist scientists and their forbearers. That did not come out of my mouth. Oy.

I did recover quickly and immidiately show my belly when I heard, "Martinists are strange?" said in a slightly annoyed female voice. "No!" I replied, "Martinists are awesome!" and then briefly described Martinism in a very general way. I also ended the lecture with a cheer of "Martinists are Awesome!"

I was a bit bummed that I had to leave pretty much IMMEDIATELY afterwards to help set up for the Steampunk Tea, because there were a bunch of people I would have loved to talk to, especially the one lovely possible Martinist woman in the crowd who I wanted to personally apologise to. I would also like to make a shout out to the very nice woman who started to ask me about lab work right before I had to duck out and literally run my fine little top hat from the second floor, down to the lobby, to the elevator, and then up to the 13th to test my brew master skills for four seatings of cream tea.

The entire con was really nice. There were beautiful costumes everywhere, including the Cosplay Green Fairy, who walked around with a complete "Absinthe Kit". She was very amenable and entertained me with fine conversation even with the insane amount of attention her costume afforded her.

Oh, and as I was packing up my stuff to leave lovely Lady Boston for the Garden State I found my notes. In my binder. Exactly where I put them.

Book Review Wed - Postponed

2011-01-12T19:20:00.002-05:00

Due to me going to Arisia this weekend, book review Wed will be postponed for this week, and will pick back up next.

I swear, I will have something other than book reviews for you soon. It's been a busy new year so far!

Book Review Wed: The Book of Sufi Healing

2011-01-05T22:03:00.003-05:00

Title: The Book of Sufi Healing
Author: Shaykh Hakim Moinuddin Chisti
Publisher: Inner Traditions, 1991
Content: 189 Pages including Appendices and Index

I randomly found "The Book of Sufi Healing" in a Borders in the late 90's. It was one of those moments where I had to carefully weigh my desire for this book, and my desire for food that day. Since we are having this review, you know the path that I chose.

"The Book of Sufi Healing" is written by an honest to goodness Sufi Shaykh of the Chisti order, who are some of the most egalitarian Sufis you'll find among the major orders. He is also a doctor of Unani Medicine. For those of you who don't know Unani medicine is the traditional medicine of the middle east, and many parts of Africa. Also known as Humoral Medicine it was once upon a time the major medicine of Europe as well. Unani is the Arabic word for "Greek" thus it is the Greek medical wisdom that we lost during the dark ages and only started to get back during the Renaissance. Not only was it preserved, it was developed. This may be an explanation why Unani is still practiced in Arabia, Africa, and especially India with great success, while it was much less effective in Europe generally.

Now, this book is not about Unani specifically, though Shaykh Moinuddin does have a book devoted to that: "The Traditional Healers Handbook", it is about SUFI Healing, which has a great overlap, but is not the same.

The subject of bodily Health itself is looked at from a Sufi point of view, as is both emotional and mental health. We have sections of diet, and various compounds and recipes you can make for specific ailments. Those more magically inclined will be jazzed to see sections on meditation, dikr (The Magic of Divine Names), and the Sufi concept of the divisions of the soul. The esoteric aspects of the position of prayer, and a brief section on "The Science of Letters" complete with talismans for healing.

For those of you who may be Muslim, there are selections of Hadith in regards to healing, as well as a selection of Suriat from the Koran that are common healing remedies.

It's a detailed work, but there isn't a lot of depth in each topic. It's like an appetizer sampler of not just the practices, but the world view of a Sufi healer. For me, it was quite interesting, but unless you already work in the vein of Sufism or Ruhaniat, it may be of limited utility. It does get a bunch of points for being THE authoritative intro to the subject in English. It's quite a good book, but very, very niche.

Next Week: We'll see if I can get the book review done while it's still daylight out!

End of 2010 Book Swag

2011-01-03T08:59:00.003-05:00

As my birthday, Christmas, and Yule all fall in December I tend to get gift books sporadically through the Season. Now that all the ponies are in, so to say, lets recap!

Achidoxies of Magic by Paracelsus: Essentially a hard core photo copy on good paper, bound in paperback. One of Paracelsus rarer overtly magical works, though it of course does have bits of Alchemy in it. The most famous part of this particular work is its section on healing using talismans.

"A Master Course in Feng Shui" by Eva Wong: The basics and simple applications of Yang Feng Shui. Yang Feng Shui is generally dealing with the dwellings of the living, as well as temples, stores, etc. It's rather in depth and will take some prolonged study.

"Hekate Soteria" by Sara Iles Johnston: An in depth examination of Hekate, her roles, and history. So far, I loves it.

"The Apophenion: A Chaos Magic Paradigm" by Peter J. Carroll: Added to my Xmas list at Gordons recommendation. It's very dense. Very, very dense. This one is going to take a while.

Hell. They are all going to take a while.

And for those lovely digital volumes of mine, Deb has made me a cover for my nook with her own dainty little hands! It is officially awesome.

Book Review Wednesday: Mastering Herbalism

2010-12-29T19:27:00.003-05:00

Title: Mastering Herbalism
Author: Paul Huson
Publisher: Madison Books 1974, 2001
Content: Over 300 pages including index, appendices, and table of contents.

So far this makes the second of two books by Mr. Huson that I have both read, and loved. The other of course, is Mastering Witchcraft. Like Mastering Witchcraft, Mastering Herbalism is one of the best books you can buy to tell you what to DO with Herbs. While Cunningham's work on magical herbalism is the industry standard to most Pagans, Mastering Herbalism really goes the extra mile.

Mastering Herbalism isn't as encyclopedic as far as detailed herb lists as some other books on the subject, though it does cover a lot of ground. Mr. Huson goes over what herbs to cook with, induce amorous feelings with, stay healthy with, stay beautiful with, make incense with, and wonderfully how to use them! The book is chock full of recipes for not only edibles, but drinkables such as teas, tinctures, and liquors, as well as smokables, ointments, and salves. My favorite is a recipe for elder flower liquor, though perhaps not the most useful.

There is also a chapter on Witchcraft and Wortcutting, and herbs to extend the life span. The section of growing your own is very helpful, and though the section on buying herbs is slightly dated, as some of the shops (notably Aphrodisia) have closed. But, lets face it.. it has been nine years since the last time it was published. The appendices are also fantastic. Several short sections such as "Planting and Harvesting by the Moon", and "Herbs as Nutritional Sources".

It is, simply put, my favorite herbal, and the one that I would recommend to anyone looking to branch in to the practice. Especially since there is a large bibliography with recommendations for further study. If you have any interest in the subject at all just get it.

(Belated) Book Review Wednesday: Oriental Magic by Idres Shah

2010-12-27T10:28:00.005-05:00

Title: Oriental Magic
Author: Idries Shah
Publisher: Rider & Co. 1956, London
Content: 217 Pages of content, not counting notes or bibliography. No Index.

I used to recommend Oriental Magic to folks as an intro to Arabian Magical practice. I still would, though only for an idea of how far we've come as far as scholarship. I had previously only been able to get snippets of the book, as it is now out of print, and can fetch a high-ish price for a small paper back. Luckily I was able to find a very tattered copy second hand and snapped it up for about two dollars American, plus shipping. Like I said, I USED to recommend Oriental Magic. Then I read the whole thing.

Mr. Shah does go the extra mile in the Forward in saying that we must apply rigorous academic scrutiny to the study of Magic, if its claims are to be believed. In fact he has the attitude of a scholarly debunker, more than a mystic in most chapters. This fits with his "westernization" of his school of Sufi thought. Very psychological, very adaptable to reason. His works on Sufism I have little problem with, other than they can be at times too reasonable! I like a little Divine madness in my Sufism, and a heavy handed dash of Occultism.

Since he is so focused on scholarship, it is unfortunate (and surprising!)then that he misses the mark so often in the following chapters. The book reads more like the musings of a weathered vagabond's travel log, rather than a scholarly text. Think of a continental explorer researching the curious ways of all those a little bit browner than himself. The effect reaches its fullness when the author delves into the non Abrahamic paths of the Far East, when he obviously has little understanding of what he is talking about.

The chapters on Chinese and Japanese magic are short enough and generic enough that the errors are understandable for the time. But shit gets real when he starts talking Tibet. No, really, he flat out says that the Bonpo are Animist Demon Worshippers that commit human sacrifice to worship their dread Lord Yamantaka. He also remarks that "the Tibetans emphasize mental (though not so much physical) hygiene.." Pg. 202

Threaded through the Far Eastern chapters (all of them)are Chinese Calligraphy said to work various wonders, and a few examples of actual Daoist talismans. The Chinese calligraphy is also in the Japanese and Tibetan sections sort of haphazardly. Searching for usable information in this book is a lot like rooting around in a garbage can full of pig shit to find someones gold tooth. There is totally usable information in there, but there are much easier and safer ways to get gold. The amount of misinformation in the book more than balances out the "scholarship" put in to it.

There are also a great deal of secret sources cited in the book. Manuscripts only the author knows about. Secret conversations with secret high Shaikhs. It's all rather suspicious. it is also very indicative of the time it came out. The East was big, new, and spiritual. In a world where Arabian scholarship is significantly lacking outside of very specialized communities, one can easily make a niche market out of spirituality when you have a massive amount of control over the flow and quality of information. More journalism than scholarship by far, and tabloid journalism at that.

The book, all in all, is a good reference for running a Mage: the Ascension game, or perhaps writing fiction that doesn't need to be back up with hard facts. A book of whispers, and shadowy insinuations, none of which are particularly helpful. Interesting yes, but it's interesting in the same way reading about someones trip to Marrakesh is interesting, and about half as useful. Read it for entertainment if you are going to read it at all, and any useful bits can be considered found money. Speaking of money, please get it from a library loan, or if you have to buy it do not pay full price or rare book mark up.

Now as to better modern resources for this sort of quest for information I'd recommend Fons Vitae, and Ishtar Publishing . Also, go visit some western friendly Sufis if you dig the Arabian groove. The best way to experience Sufism isn't from a book. It's from actual contact. The Nur Ashki Jerrahi Order are generally very welcoming, I've found. For an intro in book form I would recommend the Shambhala guide to Sufism.

The Wisdom of Peacocks

2010-12-26T20:46:00.009-05:00

I've always liked peacocks. It was one of those fantastic attractions I had as a child that made some of my older relatives wonder about me. "He likes peacocks, wants to ball room dance, and play the harp.. hmm.." I always thought they were majestic. Regal. Also, as a child, I remember them as being rather larger than me, which for whatever reason imprinted deeply.

One of the reasons why Peacocks are so revered, aside from the fabulous plumage, is their ability to kill and eat poisonous snakes. The serpent, of course being feared, revered, and held in rightful awe for it's ability to grant life or death, and the vast wealth of cthonic secrets they are said to possess. The Serpent is a great symbol of the Non Dual Path, as it is full of venom, but is no worse for wear for it. Just another thing Its got going on.

They are symbolic of transmuting something poisonous and primal into something tasty, delicious, and healthsome. Turning poison into nectar. If the Serpent is the Non Dual Path, then the Peacock is very much the Alchemical/Tantric Path.

Something that I make a big part of my own practice is this very theme. I am bad at self denial. I can binge at it, but over a sustained amount of time, I know my limits. I would have to completely remove all temptation anchorite style, if I am to avoid my vices. Even then, some vices will follow you into the meditation cell.

I am a firm believer that we must all practice from where we stand. We must also proceed from what moves us. What really moves us. You can fake motivation about as well as most men can fake arousal. You can go through the motions, but when it comes to performance, we all know the truth. When you really plumb the depths of what motivates you, it can be sobering. It may not be what you think it is, or even want it to be.

I will give you some unasked for advice: Use it. Whatever it is. Use. It.

We can worry about the purity of our motivations, weather or not we are good people, and that is normal and good. We all need self reflection. But when it comes to getting shit done? Use what works. Whatever your motivation is, your REAL motivation, use it to move you. You can't fake that kind of passion. You can't fake ambition. You can't fake lust, or pride, or Love, or duty, or any of it. Use what you have.

Those things that motivate you are not inherently good or bad, they are only wiring. Powerful emotional wiring. Wiring that enables you to find time, complete practices, rearrange schedules, and otherwise get shit done. Jason has commented in lectures that many pick up artists spend so much time practicing their inner game, they essentially meditated more than most Buddhists he knew! The stories of the Mahasiddhas are full of people going after what moves them, and through practice, achieving Enlightenment.

Motivation is neutral. You can be fueled by a desire for "cash/money/ho's" and still not be a dick about it. Having worldly motivations does not make you in any way a bad person. In fact, if you are not a monastic or a hermit, it enables you to lead the life you are wired to lead, and will be happiest leading. So go after what you want! Just don't be a dick about it, and use some foresight.

True Practice, like the Peacock will turn what can be poisonous, into what cures poison and grants immortality.

Jesus Vs Mithras: Battle for the 25th!

2010-12-25T09:43:00.000-05:00

Well not so much of a battle as a random thought or two. Though having them fight in stop motion would be neat! Get on that Robot Chicken!

As a Pagan, it gets brought up a lot that Dec. 25th is OUR holiday, blah blah blah. Especially Mithras’ holiday, though I’ve not run into a single Pagan who worships Mithras. Occasionally there are snide whiney-cakes or gloomy sulky-cakes passed out as the communal meal. An insistence that we have a Merry YULE, and the occasional off color joke.
Honestly, I think the big JC has done great things to the day. Every Dec. 25th people are a little bit nicer. Just a little. We let more shit slide on Christmas, generally. Even if we are pissed off about having to go to eight houses in one night, packing up left overs, getting home late, dealing with our family, having work in the morning, etc, we all cut people a little bit more slack. The collective mind of the West is turned ever so slightly towards a cute baby born in winter who will grow up to be a nice guy, and spend his life helping people.

For making the 25th a day where even in heavy traffic and a late night we can take a deep breath and let shit go, I just want to say: Rock out Jesus, Happy Birthday and thank you.

Mithras you are also awesome. Though most are not quite sure what your cult was all about or where it came from, I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday. You were born from a rock, and killed a bull in a cave. Men met in your honor and tried to better themselves. For all the things you did in trying to help us primates, I thank you.

Technology You Tricky Beast.

2010-12-25T09:33:00.005-05:00

Apparently I have a Tumblr feed.. account.. whatever. I put it here: http://jowzeph.tumblr.com/.

Also, I am infected with the Twitter, here: @Jowzeph

I have yet to fully grok how to link them all into a master net of you people knowing what I am doing every second of every day I am plugged in, but I am getting there. Added bonus: On Twitter you get to get updates as to weather or not I am wearing pants at any given time!

Current status: Pantsless.

I am also giving you folks a preview of one of my New Years Resolutions: To become far more comfortable, competent, and savvy with modern technology.

Merry Christmas to all, safe journeys and safe returns.

Book Review Wed?

2010-12-23T08:45:00.002-05:00

Hello all!

Book review Wed. will be postponed till after the holidays, as I am ever a busy bee, and haven't had a chance to really get down and dirty with it. I do promise it will be a fun one: Oriental Magic by Idris Shah, published in the grand old year of 1956!

Happy Solstice!

2010-12-21T09:37:00.003-05:00

Happy Solstice to all!

Last night was the real longest night (that was once upon a time on my birthday!), and as many of you know, a total lunar eclipse. Deb and I had a lovely and powerful working, asking petitions of our Gods, and pouring out libations of St. Germain under a full, but shadowed moon. We ended with some mantra work, and then settled in for the night.

My feelings during the rite were spot on, but now I feel kind of out of it. That of course, could be sleep deprivation. Now the real fun: Getting dressed and heading to work!

Book Review Wed - The Truth of the Tao

2010-12-15T10:00:00.000-05:00

Title: "The Truth of the Tao "
Author: Grand Master Alex Anatole
Publisher: The Center of Traditional Taoist Studies, 2005
382 pages of Content

"You only want three wishes:
One to fly the heavens
One to swim like fishes
You want never bitter
And all delicious
And a clean conscience
And all it's blisses
You want one true lover with a thousand kisses
You want soft and gentle and never vicious
And then one you're saving for a rainy day
If your lover ever takes her love away" "Three Wishes"- The Pierces

The above can be used to describe how my mind works on the average day. I tend to be an upfull person who wants to see everyone happy, which is why I had some serious problems on my first read through of "The Truth of the Tao".

I picked up The Truth of the Tao all excited, gleeful even, to learn from the words of a living Taoist Grand Master who can write in fluent English. I took it everywhere with me, like a oblong security blanket. Finally someone who can show me what Taoism is all about from the inside!

As I read it I felt a lot like The Bride in Kill Bill as she's studying with Pai Mei. That is to say like I was repeatedly being hit in the head with a stick. The book is well written, and well organized. Grand Master Alex really is a Taoist Grand Master. I just didn't want to hear what he had to say.

The purpose of the book is not to provide an intro to Taoism. Which is good, because it does not provide a balanced introduction for someone who knows next to nothing about the subject. (For that I would go with "The Shambhala Guide to Taoism" by Eva Wong. ) The purpose of the book as far as I can tell, is to present an undiluted delineation of Taoism free of outside influences so that the reader can see if that path is really for them. I think it presents an accurate view of Taoism as Grand Master Alex Anatole teaches it, and as he was taught it by his Master. But in claiming to teach THE Truth of the Tao, much of the variation of how Taoism has developed is marginalized as "Un Taoist".

Confusion is seen as the biggest Taoist "Sin", and the book goes to great lengths to clear up confusion between the Taoist View, and the Views of other Paths. In fact the first 129 pages of the book go into a painful review of both Western and Eastern "sources of confusion". Grand Master Alex has a great deal of harsh critique for Western religion and philosophy in general, specifically the concept of universal Love which is considered both unnatural and downright dangerous to the individual. Kind of like opium. Everyone likes opium, but it is not exactly the most healthsome of indulgences.

Eastern Religion gets no easy walk either. Buddhism is very harshly reviewed, and is presented as straying from the path its founder put it upon. Confucianism, likewise takes a beating.. but honestly Taoism is very much about the individual being natural and in harmony with Nature, and Confucianism is very much about the Individuals duty to Society and the Ancestors. They admittedly do not agree, and have not for a while now. (though that does not bind them from mixing in the minds and practice of many Chinese)

That part is the hardest to read, and I almost stopped reading there. Many of the things I liked about Taoism are.. not Taoist! Tragedy! Many of my beliefs are being called into question! I do not like this at all! I kept reading anyway.. out of spite mostly. I wasn't going to let this book beat me.

After showing us what Taoism is not, Grandmaster Alex goes into the view of what Taoism is. It is perhaps one of the clearest, and most pragmatic explanations of the Taoist view I've ever read. It's a crash course in radical practicality and common sense. The clearest guide to the Tao is Nature. Nature is cruel and unkind, thus, the Sage must be cruel and unkind... at least by the standards set by society. Society which is out of step with the Tao.

Reading through the Truth of the Tao is a lot like hearing a bunch of things I absolutely do NOT want to hear from my dad. In the same tone he would use. Over and over again I would be screaming in my head: "NOOOO! TAOISM IS NOT THIS! NOOOO!" I think more accurately that Taoism is not ONLY this. There are many many sects and schools within Taoism, many of which disagree with each other. Nature is full of infinite variation, and so too is Taoism. But, make no mistake, what is presented in "The Truth of the Tao" IS Taoism. This book single handedly shattered any illusions I might have had about Taoism being warm and cuddly. Taoism like nature is beautiful, complex, and varied. But it is not warm and cuddly.. at least not all the time. After all, even tigers love their young.

If you are really interested in Traditional Taoism, you really should give it a read. If you don't really care, or are only passingly interested in Taoism, you can probably give it a pass.

On Gratitude and Gift Giving

2010-11-30T14:00:00.004-05:00

I've finished Linchpin at Gordon's recommendation, and I honestly can't re-recommend it enough. My only caveat is that you must know what you are getting in to. Linchpin is designed to inspire you to find your own innate gifts and use them both in the work place, and in the world at large. It does not tell you HOW to do that outright. Godin isn't trying to tell you how to being a leader and an individual. Doing so by someone else' recepie is defeating the point.

The point of the book is to help you find your own unique gifts, and to give them to the world.

Since Thanksgiving is just past, I figured I'd tie that it was an auspicious time for a post. I clipped this from a post on Jason's board:

Thanksgiving and Gratitude are more than just good manners, but when dealing with Spirits or the Universe at large manners never hurt. Saying "Thank you" is the other side of the practice of offerings.

Giving thanks shows gratitude for what you have, and encourages generosity. Think about it: If you do a favor for someone, and they take it and go, or worse criticize, are you likely to do a favor for them again? But if you do something nice for someone and they honestly give you a heartfelt thank you, it opens your heart and builds a connection between both of you.

To generate Thankfulness it also helps to remember that no one has to help you. Ever. Help comes from a place of compassion, but no one HAS to help you. The world can be a harsh place, and being thankful for help just makes sense.

Think of a world devoid of compassion, where each was only out for themselves. It's horrifying. Everything becomes a maneuver for a better strategic position, people become assets to be traded or exploited, and chip by chip everyone becomes more isolated and more afraid. There are people who live like that, and I feel very sorry for them.

Thanksgiving and Gratitude prevent that kind of thinking. They also encourage a mindset where you appreciate what you have as soon as it comes to you, instead of the moment it is taken away. Your view is no longer framed in scarcity, but in openness and that allows your mind to see many more opportunities.

You were not only put where you are, in a very fortunate position by your actions alone, but by the help of countless individuals from countless lives. In the realm of causality Thankfulness encourages generosity, which encourages more thankfulness, and generosity all around. It's a self feeding cycle.

Give your gift. Feed into the cycle.

Why I Think Shiva Rocks

2010-11-30T12:47:00.005-05:00

Following up Deb, who followed up Mrs. B, I am going to post about how awesome Shiva is. I've always been into spookier Gods with bad reputations, but the one I've stuck with v. closely is Shiva. We started working together at the Beltane prep that Deb had mentioned her her entry. I had not tried to find a Patron. I simply dug his style and wanted to know more. To say it became very engrossing would be an understatement. We Jived very well. Both enjoyed our share of sex, intoxicants, and music. Both had bad reactions when those we Love are threatened or hurt. Both Love our partners, and occasionally screw up in similar ways.

One of the best things I like about Shiva is that He appreciates EFFORT, not ritual exactness. Don't get me wrong, I am sure there are some seriously bad things that can happen if you botch in the Smashan, but by and large if you do the work, Shiva will help out. Even if it will end well for no one, including you.

There is a story about an acetic who did all sorts of massive penance, and as a result Shiva himself showed up and asked him what boon he wanted. He replied that he wanted to be invincible , and for Shiva to LIVE IN HIS BELLY. Shiva said no prob' bob and hopped on in. Afterward it was Vishnu and Nandhi's job to restore cosmic order, but eventually it all worked out in the end. For everyone. It just sucked at the time.

Shiva plays long ball. He has time because he IS time. Great Mahakala, the destroyer of all. He also doesn't give a shit what class or caste you are, the thing he loves best is honesty and effort.

I also dig that his household is generally on the same page. An honest handful of cooked rice as an offering with humility beats out jewels and fanfare with self importance.

In addition to being a God of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, He's also the Great Yogi, Lord of Beasts, Great Magician, Widower, Husband, Father, Murderer, Destroyer of Ritual, Polluter, Transmuter of Poisons, Auspicious One ,and Primordial Lord of Creation. Many, many snake laced hats. He's also the Primordial Mind, a Face of the One. He streatches from the most subtle to the most gross.

Most of all, He is amazingly kind. And Helpful. And Good. He is a wonderful patron to the out caste, and neglected, the homeless, and the forgotten.

Worship can be as simple as sitting comfortably and saying his Mantra: Om Namah Shivaya. Mantra is the essence of a being in the form of words/sound. Every time you say His Mantra He is present. May that guide your reverence, as it guides mine.

On the ADF and the Armchair.

2010-11-22T08:18:00.005-05:00

Well, it's official. I am now a member of ADF. I figured that since I signed my Honored Dead into the Grove's Book of the Dead that I am now in it to win it, and should probably give the organization some money instead of just taking all their good shit and going home. I was, however, pleased to note that upon joining I promptly got a lot of welcome-y stuff including an email from the regional druid, and of course a book! Since then I've been reading through my nifty Dedicants Handbook, and really really digging it.

From hanging with the folks at GoG for a few years now, I know when they rock out magically, they rock out HARD. Even in something as "simple" as honoring the Gods. What I did not know was the intense focus on real scholarship in the ADF. All this scholarship going on! Right under my nose! Just from the things in the Dedicants manual I am confident that it is not exaggeration that the ADF has one of the most intensive Pagan Clergy training programs.

And the weird thing is.. no one is making a huge deal about how much they know. I am frankly unused to this. Coming from a ceremonial background intellectual hubris is kind of a given. Who has read what, and who has access to what secret documents, etc. A lot of secret squirrel shennanigans going on. "Oh my have you DONE the Abramelin Working? Oh I've done it YEARS ago. The Dehn translation, dear, not the Mathers. I am surprised the Mathers got any results at all."

I think it comes from a culture where there aspiring Practitioner starts off as a baby Magician who engages in scholastic study, then becomes a Scholar who does Magic, then a full fledged Magician. Many get stuck at step two.

Scholars who are Magicians, as opposed to Magicians who are Scholars. In the ADF it is Pagans who are Scholars generally.

It's about where you put your focus. I am sure that a person can do both, equally. I have never met a single person who does so. I didn't realize till relatively recently how much I had fallen into a Scholar (know-it-all, bookworm) who does Magic. And honestly I don't like that. I am good at research, and I have a natural inclination towards it. However, it does not actually get me as much as doing the work. That, honestly, is my bottom line. The benefit of interesting pondering and conversation are far outweighed by potential cash and prizes.

Inside Magic, Outside Magic, and the Spirits

2010-11-15T14:27:00.004-05:00

Living with another active practitioner of the spiritual arts can, at times, require negotiations if you both are not into the same practices. Especially in smaller, shared spaces. At times, it can be trying. When everyone was all starry eyed for Goetia a while back, I honestly gave it some thought. I talked it over with Deb, after which it was decided, "Not in our home". Demons, as a category, were not for in the house.

And I know that many demons are Pagan Gods in disguise, and I am a Pagan, and thus should have no trouble working with them, blah blah, blah. But truth be told, as a Pagan, why would I work with them in their Demonic/Grimioric form? I can just work with them in a much safer form that doesn't involve threatening, posturing, or a ton of worry. What I call "True Demons" are right out. If you had to be locked away for aeons for the safety of humanity at large I am not working with you. I can have compassion for you, but we aren't going to hang out, you aren't going to install my plumbing, or get me ladies, or anything. But it's not just that. Demons, Real Demons have an alien-ness to them. This malevolent presence that is difficult to wrap your mind around. Some people bathe in that. More power to you! I am not that cool. To me the mark of a true demon is something that is Supremely selfish, and driven by hatred, rage, etc.

I know that some folks out there will have far difference mileage than me. Let me just say that is my definition of the Demonic and if something does not fit that definition, I don't consider it a Demon, proper.

Saints, oddly, are a case by case thing. Deb has good relations with the Virgin of Guadalupe, I am quite fond of Our Lady of Czestachowa (and Black Madonnas in general), but St. Expedite and our house never quite meshed. No animosity at all, but it was like a series of really awkward dates with someone all your friends like and thought would be a really good match for you. A lot of staring across the table in silence, stirring coffee and going home early. A great guy, but not the best fit. St. Benedict is an ass kicker if there are spirits hanging around who should not be.

But I am not just talking about Catholic Saints here, but anyone who was a totally normal person, then got Awesome. All the Siddhas and Mahasiddhas are included. (My personal favorite non Christian Saints are Sukhasiddhi and Virupa, as well as Matsyendranath, Gorakshanath, Nagarjuna the Alchemist and Bhogarnath)There is a distinct human-ness about the Saints, something relatable. Their energy jives in our house pretty easily. Unlike Jesus, Padmasambhava, Dattatreya, etc. who were all born Awesome, the Saints became Awesome. They are a reminder of what we ordinary mortals could be, if we would just work at it.

Pagan Gods. . .once again, case by case. There are some Gods we just don't work with. A bad fit, and all. Some we don't trust and some that we just have no connection to. Sometimes this even goes for entire pantheons, though there are categories of Deities that we tend to work well with generally. For Deb it is usually "Bad Ass Warrior Queen/Mother." and for me it is usually, "Divine Yogi/Magician with an Iron Hard Erection". Those could be indicative of our personalities. . .or not. Even the Gods have a certain "Human-ness", a relatability. Like us, but bigger. I tend to view the Gods as people who are both hugely cosmic and as concrete as earth, lightening, storm, and snake. But they are people none the less.

The Dead we honor in our home, but rarely work with. I can't even think of a time when I have really asked my dad for something practical. For me, also, there is a certain guilt. My dad was a very together, self sufficient guy, and I feel bad asking him for help. I am pretty sure I would feel the same if he were still alive. Aside from a general "Bless our home with amorphous good fortune" we don't work with our Honored Dead. I also don't generally work with my living family, either.

Angels are another subject for debate in our house. We both agree that there is a certain alien-ness to Angels, but that's where our agreement begins and ends. Deb has trouble overlooking the alien-ness, but I am really cool with it. They aren't banned from the house at all, but that's work that I do solo. To me they are like the Gods, only they aren't as directly connected to the Material World. Angels oversee and rule over things, but I dont see them as in a way BEING that thing.

Our shared home Altar is a tribute to our shared relationships with the Gods, and that melding is important to our hearth. Of equal importance however is separate space. Time and space to get down and do your our thing. For me that is my day off, early mornings, or whenever else I can get the house to myself as I prefer to be alone in the house. We've found that a simple closed door makes a world of difference when one partner has to do work and the other has to do something else in the house, even something quiet. The feeling of alone in the house vs. someone sitting quietly on the couch is massively different. The physical door helps keep the ritual work contained, and lets you temporarily forget that the other is there. Out of sight, out of mind can be a good thing in this context.

I am only "banned" from the house on the occasion that Deb's Dianic circle meets at our house, and that hasn't happened yet in the new place. Instead of invading Womyn's Space I just go hang out with my friends for a while, and come on back when I get the all clear sign via text.

It's not a perfect system, but it works well enough. I think the key point to remember is that whatever you do in your home, you are doing IN YOUR HOME! Some things are set in a graveyard, wilderness, or crossroads for a reason.

Gog Samhain 2010

2010-11-07T08:33:00.003-05:00

Every time I celebrate with GoG, I am reminded why I predominantly identify as Pagan. Though, as with most definitions I skirt the edges, and refuse to commit, (Why do we have to label this, baby? Ain't things good the way they are? Come back to bed sweety, we can talk about this in the morning..) whenever I attend a GoG ritual, not only do I feel deeply at home, but I leave changed. Many times profoundly so. This year's Samhain was dedicated to the Morrigan, with her triple aspects being invoked by three different, yet all both lovely and beautiful women, one of whom was the inscrutable and breathtaking, Deb.

This ritual I very decidedly did not have any part other than "congregant". Usually I will do something.. invoke something, act as willow priest, diviner.. something. This year I wanted the full experience of congregant. Honestly, I am unsure why. It just felt important somehow, so I went with it.

It was one of the most powerful rituals I've been to in any context, which is extra awesome to me because it was a religious service, ("We are here to honor the Gods..") and not a practical magical working. I have to say, the Morrigan is/are one/many hard-core Lady(s). Apparently more of a job title than a solid person, per se. Morrigan Co. (as we've been calling Her/Them around the house) is awesome in the most literal sense of the word. It wasn't just the Morrigan's presence in the Grove, but the fantastic skill of each of the invocants. Everyone was truly amazing performing their roles in ritual space. It was a perfect storm of celebratory Pagany goodness.

After the ritual there was tasty food including the ever coveted stuffed pumpkin, followed by the Pumpkin Parade that we do every year to Honor Jack, yes, the Pumpkin King (A large Jack O Lantern) who we pull around in his card, while wearing silly hats and singing "What Do you Do with a Jack O Lantern!?" to the tune of "What do you do with a drunken sailor". I elected to stay in doors this year with Morrigan Co. because those ladies needed people to make them eat, and I would fear for the safety of New Brunswick if they were out rampaging in the parade.

After that there was the Reading of the Book of Names, where we write the names of our honored dead, which are then ritually read aloud every year. This year I stepped up and wrote in the names of my own ancestors. Though none of them were pagan, all of them felt good with the idea, and seemed rather surprised and appreciative. I, also felt closer to the grove. Adding my Ancestors to the Book made me feel.. honestly like family to the Grove itself, and everyone in it. My Ancestors became Our Ancestors. As much as I love the pageantry of ritual, when done right, there just as much power in something as simple as a pen on paper, and reading aloud.

I have to say, very few beings have roused a good fighting spirit in me like The Morrigan did last night. Honestly it's something I've needed. I honor Her for that, and for all the help She has brought to our home.

When 2am barely feels like 10pm, you know it was a good night.

On the Sillyness of Constant Maintanence

2010-11-03T18:48:00.006-04:00

During the brief time off that I was privileged enough to have, I realized something. I spend a lot of time sharpening my tools.. and significantly less time using them. The reason to keep them sharp is so that they work right when you need them, but of late I've been treating preparation and care as if it were my full time job, instead of the stuff I am actually preparing to, you know.. DO.

A common dream I would have as a child and adolescent was that there was a war going on, and I was going to fight in it.. but first I had to prepare. So I would. I would gather weapons and training and essentially stat max my dream self to a point where by the time I was "ready" the war was over and I was irrelevant. I'd missed the whole damn thing.

Now, I am not saying I am going to raise a terrible army of deadites to do my bidding, but I have noticed a painful lack of big magic KAPOW! in my life. It makes me antsy, and irritable. I derive a perverse pleasure from meddling, which, by the way, is the preferred pass time of wandering adventurers, and teenagers with vans everywhere. Sadly, it is also, generally, the preferred pass time of white men with guns who go to countries full of not white people who do not have guns.

The last bit of super serious Magic I did was for a pretty darn successful employment spell at the beginning of the year. And.. honestly that wasn't even that big.. really.. Success can make us soft, and I feel myself being squishier. Gotta change that!

So. Now I need a goal, a plan and then a triumphant success! I will keep you all posted.

On the Big J.C.. and folks like Him.

2010-11-01T11:57:00.003-04:00

Jason and Balthazar both have posted neato posts on working with Jesus from a magical stand point. I am slowly comming around, though I am not there yet. One thing that I will say for Jesus, and folks like Him.. Mary, The Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Mahasiddhas, Al Khidir, etc. is that generally, they don't care who you are. At all.

Some Saints may perhaps be hesitant to answer a Pagan's prayer, though more often it's that Pagans don't especially feel comfortable working with them, but Jesus and Mary both do not really care that you are Pagan.. or Jewish.. or whatever. They just want you to be happy and well taken care of. In keeping with the party line, most folks who have reached that level of apotheosis/Buddhahood/Immortality don't see the hard religious/belief based lines that we do, but they will communicate through them so that we have a context into what they want us to know.

It is always good to remember that there are Beings out there that care about us.. just because. No strings. I am slowly comming to my own thoughts on Jesus as man, magician, God, Logos, etc., but no matter what I think about Him, I've never really doubted that I am cared about, really genuinely Loved, unconditionally.

That said, I've never worked with Jesus in a magical context, though there is a tremendous amount of precident both from Catholic Folk practices, Hoodoo, and the Grimioric tradition. His name was used because it works, and because He responds to it regularly with help.

To close, a link to one of my favorite little booklets from my churchier days: "The Wonders of the Holy Name"

On the return to normalcy.

2010-11-01T10:17:00.003-04:00

Back from RI, safe and sound! Thank you all for you best wishes.

In my head I had planned this strange mix of spiritual retreat and vacation adventure. It turned out to be full of delicious sea food and relaxation. Apparently I needed to actually rest on my vacation.

During this period of sleeping in, eating oysters, and watching Anime, we listened to a lot of Mama Starr's brilliant podcast, and was duly impressed by the whole experience. I also wish I could attend her Traditional Folk Magic Festival in New Orleans this Nov. but as I just got back from vacation, I suppose another one in two weeks might be a bit much.

It was a strange disconnect, doing NO work at all. No meditation, no ritual work, just a simple japa string before bed.. usually. It made me nervous and uneasy in ways I have a hard time explaining. But, it was a good reboot. Patton Oswalt does a bit in his stand up act about how he gets the great idea to go off anti depressants for a bit. Tragic hilarity ensues. Much like the reasoning Brad Warner gives for continuing to sit Zazen: You feel worse when you don't. Thus reaffirming the value of my daily practices. Apparently those things really ARE working! I'll just put a check in the win column there.

A fantastic reboot indeed as it gives a step back from being so constantly, annoyingly, monotonously busy. It was much needed, though it made me squirrely for about a day and a half.

Now the opposite side.. Back to normal, but with perspective to change the useless parts of my normal routine, and a new appreciation of the parts that do work. I've also realized that I've been stuck at maintenance level work for about a year now.. which is silly. That will get a post of its own, because it is so absolutely silly.

In other news: keeping with the theme of purging what doesn't work. My own closet purge has officially started. A good two bags of clothes I have not worn in a while, or that are ratty, tattered, or otherwise.. ah.. no longer age appropriate are now waiting to be donated. Allegedly when I am not in my "going out clothes" I dress as a standard geek boy.. in the 18 - 22 year old range. Going to be 31, time to trade up and look the part.

At the last GOG ritual I was at, Deb was running and I was doing the main invocation, and the theme was sacrifice. One of the things that came out of it was a realization of the economy of sacrifice. You have to give to get, and so started this whole weeding out process. I now look at my half empty closet, and marvel that I had kept so much.. crap. Crap that I hadn't used. Crap that wasn't flattering. Crap that was just.. useless to me.

Here's to returning to a streamlined and improved normalcy.
Cheers.

and happy belated Halloween!

Like a Newport Masochist...

2010-10-26T05:29:00.006-04:00

We're Rhode Island bound!

Finally! After almost a full year of "vacations" tending to a great number of things that are not rest, relaxation, or fun, the lovely Deb and I will be heading to Rhode Island for a few days to essentially get away from everyone and everything and just enjoy life. There may be posts between now and when we get back in the beginning of next week.. and there may not be. Accompanying me, aside from her Loveliness, will be "Green Hermeticism", a compilation on Alchemy, Ecology, and the Hermetic Tradition, and Paul Huson's "Mastering Herbalism".
Please, wish us luck, safe journey, and safe return. We'll be back next week!

On the 80/20 Split, and Powergaming Your Practice

2010-10-11T12:54:00.003-04:00

Of all of the delightful things I picked up from Crucible this year the least delightful was the unavoidable Con Crud. For those of you unfamiliar, Con Crud is what happens when whatever minor ailments that the convention goers have gets passed around and mutated and becomes some sort of omni infectious, organ curdling plague. Working in a health related field, it is frowned upon to go into work while ill. Thus I am home for today and tomorrow.

My creative blogging muse has been on vacation since the crunch to get the presentation done was under way, and I am trying to coax her back into her A game.

The dark of the year is starting and in keeping with tradition I've been reflecting a lot, and 80/20ing my life and my practice down. Like anything else a practice can get cluttered and lose its effectiveness over time. Especially when you start trying to work in every cool trick you find. Double especially when you have some sentimental attachment to some practice or set of practices that just aren't cutting it anymore. Or maybe they never cut it, but you desperately wanted them to. That last part is the trickiest. It takes a lot of honesty to admit when something just isn't working for you. It takes a lot of will power to let it go. There is a real temptation to keep beating your head against a wall trying to figure out what is wrong. That can be a trap. That can keep you in a practice or situation that you've outgrown.

The growth part is what is essential there. If you practice haphazard your results will be haphazard. Think of it like a tech tree in the world of RPGs. Everything on the tree is cool. Not everything will be useful to your goals. Focus on what you want to become at the end. Always have your end game in mind. Some times you've honestly mastered a particular practice, or at least the first level of one. It's ok to admit that to yourself if it's true. Don't be scared. Any practice can be infinitely deep, so if it is in you to plumb that rabbit hole all the way down then by all means. But if there are other things on the horizon, congratulate yourself on a job well done, and move on to something that furthers your goals.

And sometimes.. some things don't work at all. Like at all, at all. And that does indeed suck, because there is some strange logic behind things there:
A) This practice (or system) works for other people.
B) This practice (or system) does not work for me.
C) I am obviously the flawed party in the equation, as the practice works for other people.
D) I must make this work so that I am no longer flawed.

It seems logical on paper, but it really isn't. It predisposes that everyone is equal in dignity (which I agree with) and therefore, the same (which I disagree with). If we apply this logic to sexual orientation, you have a lot of people trying to be something they are not, with saddening consequences. The logic also revolves around the premise that there is something we "should" be doing no matter what. It substitutes an external plan for you vs. an internal plan that you've made. The external plan may be peachy keen, if it ends in a place you want to be going.

To quote Judge Judy: "Life is not a dress rehersal. You don't get a second shot at this."

Always play to your end game. Always.

Crucible Run Down

2010-10-03T20:57:00.007-04:00

Gods what a long day. And I say that having not gone to the mixer the night before, or the brunch the day after, which have both been really fun and great for getting contact info and just hanging out. I was working the day before, and allegedly a little hung over the day after.

The first panel was quite fun, though I only saw the first one, attending the "Runes and other Wyrd Things" lecture during the time slot for the second. The Resident Runester was awesome in his lecture, and I learned more about Norse Mysticism and Magic than I had hitherto known. Quite eloquently said as well! The second panel boasted an incredible line up, the Lovely Deb joined Jason and Kenaz on panel along with a special guest appearance by Arthur, Head Mage and founder of Omnimancy.

After Runes was my own lecture, Alchemy: The Art of Life, which was far more well attended than I expected since I ran parallel to Kenaz' Voodoo Money Magic lecture. I actually thanked everyone for showing up, and told them if I didn't have to be here, I'd totally be next door. Lots of note takers and good questions. Everyone seemed to be able to follow my over excited jack Russel terrier like speaking style.

Then came tasty dinner.

I will admit, I missed the next two tracks, as after dinner we spent a lot of time checking in, hauling stuff in from the car, unpacking, and socializing, so much time in fact that doors were closed by the time we got back, so we hit the hotel bar instead of interrupting. After the bar it was time for a nap, as the Crucible lecture tracks ran till about midnight this year, and I was honestly so tired that I would be sleeping through the next lecture or sleeping in my bed. Either way, sleep would be had.

We ended the day by seeing Jason's awesome lecture on the now TEN principles of Strategic Sorcery. I advise anyone who likes his style to see him speak. Even if you are in the course, its a much cooler experience seeing him live.

Then happens the massive socializing after everyone is totally exhausted and on information overload. Seriously, I was pleased that at some point in the night I did not wind up dancing on a coffee table pants-less with a neck tie around my forehead. Which reminds me, I'd also like to give a shout out to the Resident Runester for his households amazing brewing ability. I was drinking artisan quality mead for most of the night, except for a pumpkin pie jello shot made by the Lovely Deb, and a sacramental shot of tequila.

Crucible is always a great time, and I want to say again how all of you should go next year. On one of the panels: Magic and Pop Culture, towards the end one of the questions asked "In what way should we be building our own culture?" and Crucible was given as a good example. Magical culture needs a place where Practitioners from various paths can get together, expose each other to new things (hehe.), and generally bond on being Practitioners as opposed to whatever roles they have in their Religion, Order, or Group. To my knowledge, Crucible is the ONLY con strictly geared towards Practitioners in that way. There are lots of Alternative religious gathers, but for practicing workers of Magic, I can't think of any other. (though I would be glad to hear of more!)

So, next year, if you can, go. It's a good time at a nice hotel with good people.

On the light of day..

2010-09-18T09:44:00.004-04:00

The summer of a million weddings is almost to a close, the last wedding being this weekend. It has been sobering to see parts of my character start as "Congratulations! Of course we'll be there!" go to "Yes.. Joyous.. Where is the bar?" I do love all the people involved in these Gods forsaken things, but I will be much more happy after this weekend when it is all over. No wedding is ever stress free, and as the summer has gone on the weddings have hit closer to home, for instance this past Monday was my mother's wedding. One can only soak so much emotional agro.

I will finally be able to devote my free time in my bathrobe finishing up my lecture on Alchemy: The Art of Life. We have Biology for the science of it, and Alchemy for the Magical Art!

I'll be presenting it at Crucible this year, and am looking forward to seeing all my fellow speakers and good friends that will be attending. If you are in the Princeton, NJ area we'd love to see you!

On a Break

2010-09-11T07:32:00.002-04:00

I'll be sans computer for about a week, so if you don't see any updates, or your replies don't get posted, I apologise. I'll tag back in once I am full of computery goodness again.

On Yesterday, Today, and Ever After

2010-09-11T06:45:00.003-04:00

I came home from work yesterday to find a somber Deb typing away in writer mode. She asked if I wanted to read her latest post, and of course I said yes. Then I did. And it was honest, as somber as the lady herself at the time, and sobering. Then she asked, "Do you want to watch the video?" and I told her a flat, "No." because I know the song, I know the episode of Scrubs she was talking about, and I know what the result would be if I were to watch said video..

And then in true Deb fashion she hits play anyway, and with a grin says, "I can't suffer alone." and so we watched the heart shatteringly sad video, with a heart shatteringly sad song, and I broke. the fuck. down. I have to say that is one of the most traumatic things I have ever watched in my life.

I am unashamed to admit I was a flat out MESS after watching that thing. Like for over an hour after. It's a sobering fact, when you think about it, and one we really don't like thinking about. Not really. Even as riot childe goths in the 90's, death was an excuse for excess, debauchery, and wringing the last bits of sensuality from life. Go hard, or go home as they say. Also, as a male, things like death tend to get treated like a dare on the scale of, "How long can you hold your face in this blender?" But honestly, those are just the trappings of death. Momento Mori. When you get hit square in the face by the emotional toll that it takes, and see that it is unavoidable, it can be hard to bare.

I had a client, an older gentleman, who confessed to me that he was the "last one", that all his friends and family were dead now, and he wasn't sure who was luckier, them or him, and perhaps he'd lived long enough. Another client of mine has Parkinson's, and told me, "The disease always wins. Always. But I'll fight it for as long a I can." and he said it with such kindness and warmth, that it was heartbreaking on a whole different level.

As terrifying as it is for someone to be close to death, or dying, it is in a strange way worse for those who live on. Surviving is hard. And after some losses you just aren't the same anymore.

I don't have any better answer than her for what comes after, honestly. I trust that those spiritual types who have handed down these afterlife practices to us at great risk and pains to themselves had a working knowledge of things, and so I do them.. perhaps I do them to give myself an illusion of control. Either way, they get done.

But for those left behind, for all the big brown hares out there, who lose their white rabbits, I have no answer, no comfort save one: Love. Just keep Loving them.

If you were to boil down everything I think, and believe and hold dear, and value in this life, it would boil down to Love. It is Divine, and makes thing Divine. It is the most natural emotion, that thing that drives us to reach out and connect. Love.. is the connection. It' the open heart. It's the bravery that can have you stare into the abyss and not flinch.

Perhaps my favorite quote from any movie ever is from The Crow: "If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Building burn, people die, but real love is forever. " And it hold true. You hold a shrine, a vigil to them in your heart. There is nothing else for sure but that. It keeps a channel open, a memory alive, and if nothing else it is something beautiful to hold on to.

Ironically, it is the fear of loss, of pain, of rejection, that keeps us from following our heart. Fear or losing something precious can keep us from having anything precious at all. We have to be brave though, not just to have more, but to be more, and to have the full spectrum of experience here, because without that, when the card house of theory crumbles and you are left with the rawness of Life, you will be unprepared. When you are unprepared it is easy to flinch away, but there is honestly no where to hide from it.

My only answer, my only comfort, my only solution is to just Love. Bravely, Fiercely, and Genuinely.

We'll end with some Dream of an Insomniac:

"There are too many mediocre things in life, love shouldn't be one of them." -David Shrader

"Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a complete waste of your time." -Frankie

On the Art of the Diaspora Altar

2010-08-30T11:16:00.004-04:00

Being a modern occultist without a trust fund or part of the gentry (though I do own land! ..well.. a condo.. IT COUNTS!) it can be exceedingly difficult to have practice space and "life space." Deb's post about our house Altar and Jason's about his altar revamp got me thinking, what if a dedicated temple room isn't ideal?

It's cool. Hell, it's swanky as hell, but is it ideal for the average pagan/occultist? On reflection, I think not so much. We consolidated altars because honestly they were spreading like kudzu in the south, and then promptly falling into disuse. If your spiritual places are gathering dust and falling into disrepair this isn't a good thing. Doubly so when this is in your own home.

So what is the solution to Pagan Sprawl?

1. Trim the fat! What do you use? Honestly.. What do you REALLY use? What is window dressing? Statues for statues sake are fine, but Altars have a purpose. If you want a statue as decoration, that is cool, do that thing, but it would serve a purpose far better if it were placed artfully as decoration rather than a dust collecting fountain of neglect. Use the 80/20 rule. You will not be using about 80 percent of your brick a brack regularly.

2. Keep what you use! Keep altars to those practices and beings you do ON THE REGULAR ONLY! This is only for convenience sake. It's a pain in the ass to set up something every day if you are doing it every day, much like it is a pain in the ass to navigate around something you don't use and takes up space every day. You will be using about 20 percent of your brick a brack regularly.

3. Camouflage! Remember those statues and and other assorted oddities that you think are pretty but are no longer part of your daily practice (because they never really were..), and so you have worked them into the fabric of your household as objects d'art? Being a worker of Magic they CAN be camouflage spiritual devices for your practice, and now they don't interrupt the flow of your life! ACTION makes something a spiritual aid/device/whatever, not window dressing. A functional altar can be anywhere or anything.

4. Remember Fight Club! Like fight club a camouflage diaspora altar is an altar from the moment the rite begins to the moment the rite ends. In the ADF we have the three gates of the Well, Tree, and Fire, and in our grove those are a stick, a bowl, and a candle. Before the rite they are stick, a bowl, and a candle. After the rite they are a stick, a bowl, and a candle. DURING the rite they are the three great gates to the unseen. A statue can be just a statue, even one with profound resonance, when not awakened for its purpose in ritual. You wake them up, you put them to bed. It is more respectful that way than them to be always on and unused. Like any relationship, really. You call your besties all the time, but you don't hang on the phone in silence with someone you don't really interact with. It is a waste of both of your time.

5. Remember purpose! Your altars should have a purpose. If they don't rethink them. Jason has described a working altar as a control panel. I would also like to add there is also the telecom altar for communion with whatever powers you commune with. Think the view screen in Star Trek. Weather it is the Eucharist, or a consecrated Idol being in the presence of the Divine is a practice in and of itself. But once again, you have to practice. If not then reverently pack up, and put away.

A dedicated temple room is awesome if you are using it every day on the super regular, that is if you don't have more pressing needs like children, a guest room, office, etc. Otherwise it is a waste. A waste of space, and resources. What's worse is that it separates your practice from your life. It makes it "other". If you are going to practice constantly, which I recommend, you need to weave these things harmoniously into your life, and home, otherwise they become an obstacle to your practice, your home life, or yes.

Think small, profound, and harmonious.

On Lectures and Linchpins

2010-08-26T06:49:00.002-04:00

As I peek my head up from my .pdf library for a moment, I just want to say that thanks to Gordon's recommendation I have started reading Linchpin by Seth Godin.

Holy. Shit.

Right now I am just starting chapter 2, so honestly I am all full of piss and vinegar, with little plan of attack. There is something about the way Godin writes that really reveals more of the board so to say. Something in his language and the examples he uses that coaxes you into a perspective where you can totally do that thing he was just talking about!

From someone who grew up as the industrial age was ending, and work, workers, and their rights weren't of as much use to society anymore, just the stuff from the intro to the end of chapter 1 hit a number of cords. Especially since I grew up in a family of Labor types.

It's a book essentially for making money by being awesome at being unapologetically you. So far so good! Thanks Gordon!

The lectures are coming along well, and I now have more time to devote to them post Lammas.

I will have a useful and insightful post for you later this week. Yes, I know it's Thursday. Don't rush me.

On Isaac's Passing

2010-08-12T22:26:00.004-04:00

As many here have written, today passed Archdruid Isaac Bonewits. I only met Isaac twice, really, and sat on a panel with him once. It was an honor. He was kind, knowlagable, and very down to earth. Not at all like I'd expect a man who founded a religion. He did amazing things to legitimize Paganism and Magic in the modern world.

I am honestly unsure of what to say. I'll miss him. I only met him twice and I'll miss him, not just for what he's done for our community, but for who he was as a person.

Rest well Isaac, you've earned it. Thankyou.

To Isaac Bonewits, a thousand cups of mead, a thousand plates of his favorite foods, and the teutalage of a thousand Gods of Wisdom.

On Poly and Paganism.

2010-08-08T10:38:00.005-04:00

Not specifically magical, no, but I figured I'd chime in a short bit on the conversation starting about Poly and Paganism. First I was reading Robert over at Doing Magick, and his response to Bonnie's post over at her blog, so then I went there and read from the horses.. mouth? Whatever.

First I am going to start by stating that I don't view myself, or my fellow polyamorists as a community. I don't. I don't view monogamists as a community either. I do view us as a sexual minority, and lump us into that realm of other sexual minorities that want our right to be left alone to do as we please. Maybe get married. Maaaybe.

My partner's other significant other, was starting to get involved into poly community building, and the stories he would bring home would set me teeth on edge. There were seminars on media preparedness, and eye gazing, and a bunch of honkey bullshit that gave me a visible eye twitch. But then I tend to have a problem with people telling me how to act or what to do, even "my own". At BEST I would consider us a subculture. Community speaks of rules, standardization, and most of all organization. Poly tends to be as organized as a flash mob pillow fight.

Now, I will say that there are a lot of poly folk in the Pagan community. (I do consider Pagans a community!) That said, in the broader pagan community, we're still a sexual minority, though less of one. There are plenty of Pagans who are monogamous, in fact all of the Asatruar that I know, save one, are all monogamous. And many people who are polyamorously oriented, over a long enough period of time, end up with one or maybe two primary partners to accompany them into their golden years. Though, many people in their golden years, previously monogamous, take up swinging, oddly enough.

I am not going to discount, or critique Bonnie's experience, I will however counter with my own. I've been in poly relationships for close to a decade now, and before that I always thought the idea would be awesome if it could work, though I didn't know it had its own name. Though in the Pagan scene poly is more or less accepted, in the rest of the world it is not so much. Especially so from a legal stand point of benefits, visitation, child custody, and divorce proceedings. It is also very difficult to date outside the poly scene, especially if you are a man who prefers ladies. Outside of the Pagan (and Geek/Fandom, oddly enough) Scene, it is more preferable for you to be almost ANYTHING else. Gay, Asexual, Swinger, Serial Monogamist, Chaste, or Transgendered. I have had poly friends come out about ALL of those things, (also toss in being Pagan) but NOT about poly.

To the general public it is more socially acceptable for me to cheat on my wife, than to have a wife who has a committed relationship with another man. Some how it makes it worse that he and I are genuinely friends, hang out, and enjoy each other's company. Cheating on your wife is "understandable", while having romantic feelings and building relationships with more than one person at a time, totally isn't.

We aren't all looking for the next SO, or hook up. I have no interest in dating any one else seriously, and the occasional clothed couching would be all I would do as far as extracurriculars.. Laaaadies.. Gordon.

I could go on, but I won't. I will say that it really sucks that things happened to make Bonnie feel uncomfortable, but it's not a poly thing. It's an, "I want to totally date you (or your husband.. or yes) so please please please agree to play poly house with meeeeee!!!" thing. It's a manners thing.

And sometimes it's a perception thing. When you are in the majority most of the time, and you get temporarily bumped down to minority status, it can be unsettling. I'm a white male, and a spiritual, as well as a sexual minority quite a few times over, so trust me, I know both sides. No one has gone to Chinatown and accused the residents of trying to make them Chinese. Because they cant. But, when the dividing lines are behavior based, people can feel a subtle pressure, weather it is actually intended by the participants or not.

If your Pagan scene has a large amount of poly folk, you might get asked out, or someone might want to date your partner, or whatever. If they are polite, be polite, if not, don't. If someone asks another person out, and the reply is, "No, I'm married, but flattered," no harm, no foul. Same thing here. You are just swimming in waters where married does not equal mono. We might let the freak flag fly a little harder in places where we are accepted, but that is because we aren't in most places. We are at best tolerated but usually closeted, or worse harassed.

As for poly being some sort of higher love, evolved, spiritual goodness? Bullshit. Poly relationships are just as fucked up as the people in them. Just like mono ones, except with more people. If you have a successful polyamorous relationship structure it doesn't make you better, it only makes you better at time management. The same stupid shit goes on everywhere, and there is about the same success rate of finding a life time partner or partners.

Lastly, Bonnie, if there are people REALLY pressuring you to be poly, or whatever else, it might not be the best place for you, because they obviously are not respecting your boundaries. which makes them assholes who happen to be poly. Please do not mistake it for a standard in the subculture.

On Tinkering

2010-08-05T07:50:00.003-04:00

I know I've been a bit quite as of late, so I thought I'd let the assembled Interblag what I was up to.

1. Unpacking and tidying. After any big trip cross country, even in a plane, I am great at packing. I am crap at unpacking. There is something buried deep inside of me that just does not want to put all those little thingies back in their little thingie homes. Also, the week or two after I get back, there is a lot of flailing about house cleaning. Like, I don't want to. Especially if the vacation is more of a "vacation" if you get my drift. So it's taken me a bit.

2. Working more. Obviously to make up for lost time on vaca, but also changing my attitude towards ANY and all work in general. My dad, God rest him, never had a career. He had jobs. Granted when he was coming up your job could be your career. Stay some place long enough and they take care of you. Sadly then the 80's happened and that whole sense of honor and propriety went out the window in exchange for everybody's pensions. My mom was the same till she found the medical field about three or four years ago. The attitude between having a job and a career are totally different.

Having a job is: You punch in, do your work, punch out, go home. Simple, but the effectiveness ranges from moderate to bare minimum, depending. It varies from person to person, and sometimes from day to day with some people.

Having a career is: I built this. This is mine. I WILL make it work. There is a level of loyalty and determination there that just isn't there with a job. If you work at something as if you owned it, you might not work regular hours, but you do your best ALL the time. What's more you strive to make your best, better.

So, I am doing my best to treat Life as my career. As well as everything in it. I must say it's made me terribly productive (except for the unpacking), more confident, and less fatigued.

3. I'm elbow deep in writing two lectures at the moment. One is a beginner's lecture on Alchemy, spanning history and practices, seeing it as a universal Art and Science, not limited to one culture or symbol set. It will be geared to understanding the framework of Alchemy, so that if one chooses to delve further, the basic concepts and view will be established, which will make the data much easier to process.

The other is more workshop than lecture, that I think I'll title: "Using What You Have: Turning Every Day Experiences into Tools for Magical Practice." I am convinced that one can have powerful sorcery and deep meditation practices just based on the very basic experiences of life, which will hopefully roll over into just about anyone's personal practices because these experiences are so basic and so near universal to the human experience.

So, that's me recently. Time to do some housework like it was my career.

On Evangelism

2010-07-21T08:16:00.007-04:00

There have been a lot of Christianity related posts lately, too many to write decent replies to while I was on a brief trip to Kansas, so I thought I would try to make a general reply as a post.

As someone who went from deeply devout in the best of all possible ways, to deeply fundamentalist in the worst of all possible ways, to deeply anti-Christian in the most obnoxious of ways, to someone who has calmed the hell down, and taking another look at his old Faith, evangelism is something that hits a lot of buttons for me.

From the reply's to Jason's posts, I think it hits a lot of buttons with the rest of you as well.

Evangelization isn't a bad thing. It can be a great way to share ideas, if the people involved are open to dialogue, and do not have a set agenda. I've seen this in a lot of clergy, even the fundamentalists here in the Godless North, because the clergy involved realize that we all need to work together, and that religion is such a powerful force, that if we don't, it is catastrophic. Hell, the Rabbi's daughter who I knew high school, her dad's best friend was an episcopal priest, and they both had good relations with the interfaith community. If evangelism is taken from a place of sharing and dialogue, it can be an awesome thing. It can really open peoples eyes about other faiths, and really enrich the lives of all involved.

What most people have an objection to, seems to me, to not be so much evangelism, but more like spiritual extortion. Do this, or else. Honestly, that is a shitty way to get anyone to do anything. That is simply being a bully, or as I like to call them, a "knob hound." (Actually I just thought of the term "knob hound" and wanted to use it in a sentence. )

A bully can try to do something good, but if they've been pushing people around for long enough their inter-relational toolbox is pretty empty. If yelling and shoving people have worked so far, why not try that first? If it doesn't work at first, it usually works if they keep doing it for long enough. And now they are bullying "For a good cause" or "For someone else's own good", so it makes them doubly tenacious.

You can evangelize through dialog, or through being an ass clown. I think it would be more profitable for all involved if more inter religious dialogue were public, and clerics were shown publicly getting along with one another.

Many Christians don't realize how much abuse by Christians to those of us who are minorities, be they sexual, religious, or social, because to them as normal people, it is unthinkable. A Christian would never do that. And to my mind.. they are correct. Those who inflict such abuses aren't Christians, they are simply using Christianity as a cudgel to cause harm.

Creed does not so much matter. It's just an excuse. It's an outlet for an ill and xenophobic mind. It is a sickness of culture, and an illness of the heart. Sadly, one Christianity had hoped to change, and once upon a time it did start to change, becoming a great mystical and civilizing force.. until it was used as a weapon by both Church and State against any convenient enemy.

To quote the Cheshire Cat: "Question: When is a croquet mallet like a billy club? Answer whenever you want it to be." Just because someone uses a lamp as a cudgel, does not mean that the use is in line with the design of the lamp. There are many antidotes that can be poisonous if one isn't careful. And sadly, there are many who have used Christianity as a weapon, far too many.

The answer, it would seem, as the weaponization of Christianity goes against its basic design, and requires many mental gymnastics in order to justify, would be for Christians to act more.. well.. Christian. To follow the example of Jesus. Kindness, tolerance, openness, Love to all, and anger only to those who would twist minds and empty pockets in the name of God. The Good News is best shared by leading a happy and fulfilled life, proving that what is preached works in the field. Get rid of the mental gymnastics and live the life.

People know real virtue when they see it. Holyness is self evident, and even children and animals can easily spot the unwholesome. Virtue is hard, but worth it, and it is its own reward. I say that last bit with no sense of bitterness. Virtue is its own reward, not only because none other will be give, but because none other is necessary.

On Sharp Tools and Chadly's question.

2010-07-19T10:56:00.005-04:00

Chadly, in my previous post asked me:

"I'm still trying to develop that, myself. Any ideas? For now I try visualization/meditation(like, once a month, when I remember to), and just trying to be aware of every moment."

and I thought it deserved a post of its own.

Everyone who responded (Gold stars all around!) had unique and telling magical fitness routines. When choosing what you want to do on the regular you really have to start planning who/what you want to BE. Keeping your tools sharp is pretty easy, to be honest. It just takes regularity, and an eye for how things should be going.

I do not sharpen my kitchen knives every day, but I do start to notice their lack of performance when they start getting dull. To a cook or Chef, your knives are your most basic tools; I think the only thing more basic would be fire. You need to keep those basics well honed, because they are your foundation. Without a good foundation, you can't build.

Most occult books on the market today don't teach the high holy inner court secrets of life the universe and everything. Most books teach basics. Foundational Tech. Skills and tools so you can build a serious practice. Now don't let the word "basics" fool you. Most basic practices for any tradition can be seriously seriously deep once you get in to them. The problem that many over eager seekers have is that they can't handle boredom. They want to jump strait to the "good stuff". At least that was my problem.

An example from my childhood: When I was a child I wanted to bake something from scratch, and my mom humored me. I knew nothing of baking or what actually went IN to cakes to make them tasty and delicious, nor would I listen to reason. I did not want my creativity stifled by narrow minds, Mom! Patiently my Mother sat back while I mixed this.. thing. it was some how gritty and gelatinous all at once, and very.. very green. There was not even a taste test, and I was not really upset seeing the horror that I had wrought in the bunt pan. It was tossed.

No one but children rush ahead in cooking, or martial arts, or driving.. That tendency is curbed there due to the negative repercussions of failure. Failing sucks, and once you fail you will do your damnedest to at least fail better next time.

First you need your goal.. kind of like Gordon's book game, actually! If you go around doing things willy nilly, it is a lot like reading things willy nilly. You may learn a lot, but very little will be practically applicable except for conversation. First decide what you want to BE, and then let that fill in what you DO.

Doing it the opposite way is what most people without plans do. Situations happen, and those situations shape you, but without a plan, or a direction you wish to be going in, you will be shaped against your will into something, and placed somewhere by the natural progression of Fate.. or the whims of Fortune. However you choose to see it. You are always being shaped, ground, molded, melted, built up, broken down, and rearranged. With a plan you can choose how that goes. The stimuli involved are really arbitrary once you know what you are going to use them for. Boons and Banes will both occur, but if you are set on using them to become a kinder, more open person, then that is what you will become. If you are set on them making your more cunning, and selfish, then that is what you will become.

For general magical practice, I would advise some sort of energy work, every day. I am more fond of Taoist methods like the microcosmic orbit and the inner smile, personally, over the middle pillar. I also enjoy Jason's Pillar and Sphere's exercise, as it uses both the currents from "Above" and "Below". Going both ways always seems much more natural to me, personally.

Some form of meditation, daily. I prefer formless methods, as I tend to be easily distracted, but the purpose should be to get to know your own mind, and see how it works. You can always deepen those practices. I've had v. good results with Christian Centering Prayer, and simply striving to get rid of discursive thought in all areas of my life where it is not called for. Goal being to have yappy, talky thoughts when it helps to, otherwise, just abide in silence. Get to know your own mind. If you can't learn to control that, you'll have a much harder time sorting out what you want to be.

Something somatic, or something movement based. Ritual, yoga, qigong, kitchen witchery all help to anchor your practice into the material world, and especially into your body. Kitchen witchery for example can teach you how to put magical practice into just about every single every day thing. Banish by sweeping, heal by cooking; it is a great way to learn how to focus intent through an action, any action. If you work with "The Magical Personality" it helps ground it into every day life.

Other than those vagueries, look through various legends, traditions, or comic books to find something to aspire to. Finding out who you want to BE, really flows naturally from who you really ARE.

"Who are you?" - The Vorlon Question
"What do you want?" -The Shadow Question
"Where are you going" -The Technomage Question

Be honest with yourself, Chadly, and you'll find the right practices to help you be who you want to become.

On Ride Resolution and Regularly Scheduled Maintanence

2010-07-12T08:36:00.006-04:00

Transportation dilemma has officially been solved (through GREAT generosity), and now I am working a bit of over time when I am able to cover the lost time.

The past few days have made me realize how quickly the results of our actions catch up to us, and how something we put off will become necessary in a surprisingly short while.

Moving from my own batch of life drama to something blog relevant: Maintenance.

As a really for reals Magician you should have a maintenance practice. It doesnt have to be the same thing every day, but it should be SOMETHING every day. Honestly, I don't care what. But this falls into the "Keep your weapons sharp"/"Use it or lose it" category.

Doing SOMEthing every day keeps us Magicians/Witches proper as opposed to someone who does Magic every now and again.

Now I ask you, dear readers, what do you use to keep your weapons sharp?

Lesson of the Week

2010-07-07T19:34:00.004-04:00

Not sure if this is particularly Magical, but it is a life lesson, which is its own kind of Magic.

The Lesson of the Week has been: WAKE UP!

I had no idea how comfortable I was in my set patterns, how wasteful I have been with my resources, or how neglectful I have been of forethought.

In a crisis situation, most people like to think of themselves as rock solid, Sly Stallone, Jules from Pulp Fiction. I know I did. And I was fine.. before I found out that I could not afford to fix my car. In fact the repairs were going to be worth more than the car itself was worth.

Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20, and it is increasingly rough to look back and see all the things you COULD have done better when those things that you DID do helped lead you to a place where your livelyhood and the security of your family is threatened.

It's downright terrible. And I know that this is a relatively mild setback as far as life setbacks are concerned. I should be able to get another car soon, today in fact with any luck.

When we, and in this case I am using myself as the prime example, your mileage may vary, get comfortable, it is easy to forget that there may be something just over the horizon that is an emergency. Black Swans if you will. Sometimes those swans bite.

I could not be more grateful to my support structure, notably the lovely Deb, and my Mom, who have helped me ferry this unfamiliar territory.

Being comfortable, and riding high for close to a year I overlooked the simple idea that everything changes. Even good things. It is easy to have hope that a bad situation will eventually end in something good. We like that. Hope for a better life, a better world, keeps us going. But in our modern, western world, for those privilaged enough to be middle class, it's easy to forget that bad things happen, things you must prepare in advance for, because they will be bigger than what you can normally handle.

It's better than good to have a support network in case you come up short. Better than good. It is necessary. It is awesome to rely on yourself, and if you plan better than I have been, you might not need them for anything but moral support. But we at all times need to be able to have all the help we can get in trying, financially life threatening times.

It is easy to live in a happy, shimmery bubble. I didn't want to contemplate the fact that something could happen that I couldn't handle myself. But it did. And here I am.

The fact is that things happen that are Very Bad. Things that will thump you where you live, and hit all your survival buttons. Even good things can do this. Good things, like the now semi recent house purchase put a lot of stress on everyone, and unless you are like Jules from Pulp Fiction, and totally cool like Fonzie, you will need help.

My lesson is Be Awake! and Prepare! Not just for the bad, but for the good too. Being lulled into complacency means you are not consciously changing. You are not consciously acting, and when a good opportunity, or a bad situation comes your way you will be left flat footed.

Be prepared ladies and gentlemen.

That's all I got.

On Meditation and Misfortune

2010-07-07T10:38:00.003-04:00

A word on what steady meditation has done for me in light of my recent automotive misfortune. First and formost it allowed me to act from a place of spaciousness, rather than constriction. Panic is the ultimate constriction. You lose control of even your ability to choose what you do next, swept up by factors in yourself and your environment that are all more or less automatic. I had the presence of mind to do everything I needed to and stay safe while doing it. It's also helped me stay centered in the aftermath of unknown financial expense while the figure out what the hell is wrong with my chariot of steel.

What meditation does NOT do is fix things outside of you. Well.. until I become a Mahasiddha and can do all sorts of miracles and whatnot. Cars break, horns honk, and you are still on the side of the road. Meditation, for me, has helped me not freak out about it, realize that it's part of life on the wheel, and give me a calm place to act from which to make things better.

Enlightenment doesn't fix the world, it fixes you, and from there you can help the world be a better place, and help others be rid of some amount of suffering according to your ability. Countless beings have been helped just from that place of clarity and compassion, and that ain't nothin', but you still have to act to make anything better. Not acting is still an action. Meditation helps you act better.

On Unstoppable Entropy

2010-07-07T09:17:00.006-04:00

Ever since I was a baby Mage playing OWOD's Mage: The Ascension I had a thing for Entropy, the coolest sphere of the nine, and the most abused. And being a Riot Boi Omnimancer the idea is sound, so I used it, mostly on my car: a 14 year old Pontiac Grand Am. Being an Omnimancer, also, I did not do anything physically to the car other than keep it well maintained. The effects of my work with Entropy would also bleed out in strange ways: things casually said coming to pass, being the equivalent of a truffle sniffing pig while shopping, getting much better at divination, and even whilst gaming dice stacking into perfect columns when rolled. Entropy wards have kept my repairs relatively to a minimum, though there have been some, none of them were anything that I could not handle finantially.

Sadly, my efforts came to a bit of a flop yesterday as all of the functions of my car that had the word "power" in them (like steering, breaks, etc) stopped working along with the ability to accelerate, while on the downward slope of an incline to a major US Highway, depositing me on said highway without the ability to control my vehicle.

Here, it seems, is something little blogged about in the magical community: Catastrophic Failure. The Gods of Roads and Fortune having my back I am unharmed, and my car undamaged other than the aforementioned nebulous problems. I was able to pull to the side safely, was checked on by a patrolman 10 minutes into the ordeal, and the tow truck arrived early. (I was also treated to some interesting Country Music why in the cab of the truck. Lyrics like "God is great, Beer is good, People are crazy" are hard to get out of ones head.)

My wards failed. Failed. At first I took this a bit personally. But, as it turns out, I am not awesome enough yet to work full out miracles and thumb my nose at nature whole hog. (Whole Hog, btw, is the best way to have barbecue, so I am told.) Failure, in this case, was inevitable.

Now, my spellwork was designed to keep my car together till I could afford a new one. Getting a new car was always postponed to "Next year", for several years now. Fudging the rules a bit, I'd say. You can only stretch something so far until it breaks. In automobiles, and in the human body, we run into the same problem. We want longer lives, more utility, but the physical substances we have to work with are ruled by Saturn's dread gaze, and eventually must be undone. Permanency in the universe would be disastrous. It would throw a jinx on the whole damn system.

I'm reminded of the Lich in fantasy lore. Lich, literally means Corpse or Body. A being so attached to things as they are that they trap themselves in their current body, unable to move on, unable to change. Stuck. While the world around them changes. The same in Vampire mythos, and the same even in Harry Potter a la Voldemort.

Keeping things the way they are in some static paradise can never be the goal. Well.. it can, but it's a shitty goal. Even in Alchemy, if you are truly great, confect the stone, and live for hundreds of years in the same body, your mind, at least must change, or your boon will turn to a bane quickly as friends pass away and the world passes you by.

You cannot beat Entropy. It's one of those Universal Laws, so I've heard. On one pole of Dame Entropy is Fate, the other is Fortune. Fate is fixed Entropy, while Fortune is Volatile Entropy, both stretching from the Mutable position of the present moment. Fortune is the infinite possibility of what could happen, and Fate is what actually happens, solidifying causality within the time stream.

Behind us stretches a field covered in the ashes of past Fortunes never taken, waded through by the steady thread of Fate with a near infinity of future Fortunes ahead, which will themselves turn to ash as the present takes the path of one of those myriad.

Saturn is the highest sphere before you get the the Great Mystery of Being, because under Saturn's gaze we have causality. Above Saturn, all causes and effects happen simultaneously. Entropy can only happen within the bounds of Time, indeed it is the surest measure of Time itself, and both are aspects of the same thing. Above Saturn there is no Time, no causality, all pasts, all futures, all at once. In Ibn Arabi's cosmology that is the Preserved Tablet, and then comes the Pen of Fate that makes things Be.

We cannot ward away Entropy. We must pick the changes we want. Choosing the choice of no change is not an option. That way only lies the path of trying to roll with Fate as it tosses you on the ground, rather than actively choosing to MAKE it.

Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat - Fortune Favors the Bold

JMG and Natural Philosophy

2010-07-01T08:15:00.005-04:00

I was reading John Michael Greer's latest post on the role of the Wizard in the Dark Ages, and how that relates to the tricky place we are currently balancing in the Technological Age, and it reminded me of some posts I've been meaning to make for some time now, on symbolism and ideas, but first I'd like to talk about something a bit more concrete: Natural Philosophy.

I like the term. It has a good aesthetic for me. Say it with me: Natural Philosophy. Good. I didn't always like the term, though. Strayed too close to math and science for my Jr. Occultist tastes. Not nearly fringe or freaky enough. But as I've aged, and especially as I've studied Taoism, and Alchemy I've grown an appreciation and dare I say affection for it.

To me, in comparison to a strict dogmatic philosophy, where everything must be justified by either tradition or scripture of some sort*, Natural Philosophy is very open ended, exploratory.

Reading JMG's article I've realized how boxed in my previous view was. Though I changed it years ago, I still suffer, on occasion, from monomania, that fixation on one thing that Occultist tend to get. Magi of yore were by and large, polymaths (another good word), they were in to everything, and had much more breadth of wisdom than a specialist, and as a result were of much more use generally.

The key, I think, wasn't just an impressive brain to store data, but also a system of filing and framing based, many times, on the natural world. It's not just knowing a bunch of bits of data, they must connect and make sense. That, to me, is what Natural Philosophy does based on one simple rule: Does this work? Once you find the result you want, you can dream a score of ways to produce it.

Astrology, Traditional Medicine, Alchemy, are all disciplines of Natural Philosophy. The ancients weren't stupid. They value their lives and the lives of their children and culture just as much as we do, and they did so in a world of much fiercer economy. If medicine didn't work, they would stop using it quickly, and in many cases quite possibly kill the incompetent physician. Astrology was used because it produced results in the hands of a skilled Astrologer. Alchemy, for all the frauds in the discipline, produced reliable results enough to carry on. There were other disciplines too, like physics, mathematics, political science, history, philosophy, what became anthropology and psychology. Chemistry and Pharmacology were once sub disciplines of Alchemy. And of course our beloved Sorcery, at the time the least understood. All survived because they WORKED. "Success is thy proof" after all.

Buddhist Philosophy, I count as something very much in line with Natural Philosophy. There was a problem: Suffering. The Problem was analyzed, and an open ended solution found. The whole science of Karma being simply the study of cause and effect on all levels, from mental, to social, to physical, and on from the most subtle to the most gross. The Dharma is implicit in Nature and Naturally arising. The Dharma is "The Truth of How Things Are". The Buddha Dharma is The Truth of How Things Are in relation to the causes of suffering, the path to freedom from suffering, and the nature of your own mind.

Like any other Geek scene (And we are, kids! A true gearhead is a car geek, and a fashionista is a clothes geek, do not be fooled!) we run the risk of isolating ourselves into our in group, seeking status there, and shunning folk who don't really understand us. I think, from now on, I will do much better to consciously embrace a more wholistic view of the world. Specialists can get very boxed in to seeing things through the lens of their specialty. It is only natural, but like my beloved Mentats I will strive to be a generalist, to see the whole, and how things fit within it.

*Modern Materialist Science is just as guilty of this in some circles as anyone with a revealed text.

I shall face my fear, and let it pass over and through me..

2010-06-22T19:59:00.005-04:00

I haven't been doing a lot of formal ritual work lately outside the usual daily work out, but I have been doing a lot of meditating. I am not a good morning meditator. I get up pretty early (for me), and can be described as semi-conscious at best, and those days I wake up late I barely have time to pour coffee down my maw, dress myself, and be presentable before I head out.

Luckily I have an hour of commuting ahead of me. That is a lot of time on the cushion, so to speak. I started meditating in the car to combat driving anxiety using a taoist method I learned from reading the work Mantak Chia: Focus on the lower Dan Dien to short circuit the monkey mind. And it worked! As time went on it was harder and harder to focus on the meditation when things like cars and woodland creatures would invade my personal driving space.

So I switched it up: Mantra Japa to Ganesh and/or Shiva.. but most of the time my mouth would be mouthing and my head would be elsewhere.

Thanks partly to Jason's Strategic Sorcery Course, partly to my research into Christian Centering Prayer, and remembering my early foray into meditation in the first part of Initiation Into Hermetics by Franz Bardon, and just focus on what I was doing.

It was surprising how little discursive thought was necessary for operating a motor vehicle! Mostly day dreams, or worries, or day dreams about worries.

Eventually, I found the me that watches behind the thoughts and feelings. I found the thinker, the feeler, the seer, the hearer. It's strange and I am still working to stabilize it, but I think it is something really worth doing. I've had very intense meditational experiences before, but this one seems much more sustainable, like if I get in the habit, I can rest in it, and sit in the eye of the storm, and from the eye, control the storm.