Thursday, March 28, 2013

The Things You Cannot Stop

In Memoriam: For Mrs. A.

Oh my heart it aches to stay, but the flesh will have its way. 
Oh the way is dark and long.. I'm already gone/ I'm gone.
Eurydice - Hadestown

As of about 2pm I got the news that the mother of my best friend just passed. She had been struggling health wise for a while, and now is no longer in any pain. She was like a second mother to me, and took me in to her home when I had no where left to go.

She was kind, a magnificent artist, and was one of the most nurturing and accepting people I'd ever met. She had the sight, as does her mother, as does her daughter. If you were at all a freak, she would be a mom to you, in the best of all encouraging ways. Their home is one of those that feels like home to you, no matter who you are. It is festooned in her artwork from basement to eves, scrolled along moldings and carved into woodwork. Brushed canvases, and elaborately detailed plates for the light switches. Everywhere is knotwork, elves, dragons, trees and vines. Everywhere is a green world with a sun shining, and a night sky spread with stars so thick there is scarce a space for darkness, and the moon reigns over them all as queen.

She used to have nightmares about zombies, so her daughter and I made her a talismanic shovel to guard her dreams. A long handled spade shovel carved, etched, and tied with protection, full size, that sat next to her bed. What better tool to lay them to rest, than a shovel?

The Orphics, whose cosmology is rich and complex, said that in the beginning, wrapped around the cosmic egg, were two coupling serpents, Chronos (Time), and Ananke (Necessity). From them the whole universe as we know it flowed. Ananke is the web of causation that flows through the field of Time, woven by the Fates.

There are some things that can't be fixed. There are some things you cannot stop. No matter how hard you try. No matter how badly you want to change them. Time brings all Necessary things to completion.

I've never been a hard hearted man. I am grateful for that. At times like these, in times like these I am reminded of why softness is a virtue. A hard heart will crack, break, and shatter, and the whole world can shatter with it. Sit with the pain. Be brave. Be braver than you ever thought you could. Soften your heart and be of service, and in your service show your gratitude.

 Even sitting here with a pounding headache, choking back vomit, and trying to see the screen, all the while wiping tears and snot off of my face, I am grateful.

I am grateful for having known Sharon aka Mrs A. I am grateful for having such a great friend as her daughter. I am grateful for her hospitality, her kindness, and her care.

So tonight, we set some lights for her, that she may always find her way, and that all sorrows should shrink from our lights. If she wishes, she may dwell in a place green and growing, and where the stars fill the sky to bursting, and the moon reigns over them as queen.

You can join us, if you like, and set a light or two. That our fires my outnumber those stars, and she may find her way.. to wherever she chooses to go.

Pour the wine, and raise the cup/
Drink up brothers, you know how. 
And spill a drop for Orpheus/
Wherever he is now.

Wherever he is wandering/
alone upon the earth,
let all our singing follow him/
and bring him comfort.
- Eurydice - Hadestown


petoskystone said...

Swift journey, Mrs. A.

Jack Faust said...

Rest easy, Ms. A.

And: Beautiful, brother. Beautiful entry.

Anonymous said...