Thursday, June 28, 2012

ADF GoG's Summer Solstice Walking Ritual

Leela Ma in a form you may recognize
Alrighty. This is the third time I have tried to write this post. I guess that is appropriate, as it is about my Midsummer with our local ADF grove.

For this ritual we honored Leela, the Indian concept/Goddess who IS the eternal play of the multiverse. Everything that happens, everything that occurs, the entire causal flow of Karma is simply the Play of God. Everything is play. Black holes, quasars, true Love, Gods, Devils, everything that exists, happens, or may happen is a piece and a player. Philosophically the only one playing is the Divine, and all that occurs, does so for the experience of Divine Joy. Imagine a young child who really hasn't developed much of a conscience yet. They can snuggle their favorite pet or stuffed animal with a love so strong and so pure, that it can move passers by to tears. They also pull the legs off bugs just to see what happens. Play is not gentle. Really think about that. Let that sink in. When that starts to make you truly disturbed and afraid, we'll move on.

This was a much harder ritual than I expected. As my first time Druid in Charging, I was totally prepped. I read my parts, the ritual outline, and planning went well. Pre ritual briefing went smashingly, and might I say, eloquently.

Sadly, once those three chimes rung to signal the beginning of ritual, my brain LEFT. I was... I won't say useless, but I needed prompting. A lot of prompting. By the end I was well and truly useless. My only ability left was to get prompted to give the official prompt and then thank everyone and grab some food.

It rewired my brain. The whole experience. We paraded around in loud clothes through areas swanky and less swanky. We passed frat row, and passed through old gates stating "The Sun Rises in the West" in Latin. We also passed a great deal of pedestrians who avoided us pretty politely.

Nothing was the same after the ritual. Sickness, misfortune, things breaking, plans falling through.. I was seriously pissed. I am still dealing with the conditions. I expected different results. There were some massive revelatory experiences, but meatspace wise, my conditions got well and truly crossed.

I am still clawing my way out.

Most of all, I feel tired, but there is no time to rest. The Game continues waking or sleeping, and the only rest comes with Liberation... maybe. Probably not. 

In retrospect, the ritual did exactly what it was supposed to do. Opened me to the Great Game that requires constant participation, because if you are not making moves, you are being moved. Opened me to the Great Mother whose vehicle is Maya.

The Ritual was full of small oracles and massive concentrations of High Weirdness. I remember saying to one of the other folk there, "What's it does it feel like to be Awake? A lot like being asleep."I was one of the official Oracle readers, and mine was "A true friend, and an honorable enemy." I still don't know in my head what it means, but I know it in my bones. 

Time to get back to it, players. Be excellent to each other. 


Gordon said...

Oooh! I know those gates!

(I do know those gates, right? For me they are sad gates.)

Mr. J. said...

@Gordon You may.. They are on campus grounds in the oldest part of the school. I am not sure if we passed them when we were going to the station.. Deb would know ;)

Anonymous said...

Welcome to priesthood. In seminary we had whole classes — worth, you know, full 3 credits and suchlike, serious business — on how to perform the ritual actions, keep the script straight, and function while in ritual mindset. Not easy at all.

While I didn't get ordained myself, a lot of my friends and colleagues did of course (that's what 99% of them do), and their experience jibes with yours — sickness in the weeks and months after ordination, various kinds of misfortune, etc. It's supposed to be different, damn it!.

Except it's not. My friend Bill said after his first year of priesthood, "I gotta say, Andrew... I've never been so much of a priest as on the day I was ordained." He still feels that way — he's stuck in the holy place between the Inner Sanctum and the Porch of the Temple, and he's expected to behave in certain ways... but he still has to get groceries and meet the guidance counselor when his kid misbehaves at school, and so on. And the charism of the priestly energy still has to work itself out, because everything has changed even though everything is different.

A few years ago, I performed an initiation rite for an apprentice of mine, and he had a great time... energy coursing through him, opened up to the potentials, etc. All the good stuff. As soon as he was grounded afterwards, though, and well and truly back to his body in all the ways that mattered... all the energies I'd called up basically said, "You weren't ready to do this. BUT, since it's something you decided you were ready for... WE WILL MAKE YOU READY."

And they did. For about three days afterwards I was running on so much energy that people who were even slightly energy sensitive noticed the crackle, and even 'non-sensitive' people would sit up straight and pay attention when I walked in the room.

And all sorts of crazy stuff went down in my life, in my body, in my mind, in my love life, all at the same time, as a result.

Don't worry. This too shall pass. :-)

Rose Weaver said...

Great post! I enjoyed learning of Leela. In fact, so much that I did a bit more research. I also found this:

And Leela/Lila does make a tremendous amount of sense when you think about it. As for the problems you experienced within ritual, that's happened to me before as well. I've usually laughed it off. Hey, it's Leela having a bit of fun, right?

Mr. J. said...

@Andrew I figured this was either me being crossed or initiated, or yes.

Rusty said...

Oh hey Grove of the other Gods is right near me!

Mr. J. said...

@Rose agreed, but it has been weeks of escalating hits with a bundle of blackthorn .